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Monday morning grind

By Anonymous - 15/12/2025 15:00

Today, I joined a work call while rushing breakfast. I muted myself, or so I thought, until my boss asked who was “chomping.” I froze, mid-bite, while everyone waited. My coworker said it sounded “nutritious,” which somehow made it worse. I didn’t speak again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 373

Intense humming

By Anonymous - 02/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Houston

Today, while using a public bathroom, I was singing to myself because I thought I was alone and not in a rush. When I opened the door, three people were waiting in line. One of them rushed in behind me, another seemed really annoyed, and the third person said, "I love that song!", confirming that they heard everything FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 536

Chilling

By QuentinX - 11/01/2026 15:00

Today, I tried to casually lean against a counter during a conversation at a party and missed. I recovered by pretending I meant to crouch and check my shoelaces. No one bought it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 327

Snoopy

By No way - 16/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I liked one of my crush’s Instagram post from 2012 while stalking his profile. Despite me realising my mistake and un-liking the post, he immediately followed me back, and sent me a DM saying, “Wow, that’s some deep digging.” I’m now referred to as his "creepy stalker archaeologist of Instagram." FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 558

Lost it

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to an escape room on a date. I was convinced I’d be the puzzle-solving hero, so I sprinted ahead… straight into a low-hanging laser sensor that set off alarms and locked every door. We had to be rescued by staff, and my date still hasn’t talked to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 681

Mucky

By Anonymous - 04/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I discovered that my body wash bottle's top came open last night without me realizing it. Space is limited in my bedroom so the only place I could put it (I live with my parents and they can be absentminded) was behind the TV. The good news is it didn't get on the TV; the bad news is it's all over the stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 371

Alpha top dog

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was meeting my daughter's boyfriend and I joked I’d have to show him who was boss around here (my wife, without a doubt) but as a 5”8 man I have no idea how to intimidate a 6”11, 20 year-old who looks like he was born in a gym. My wife won’t stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 449

Grand-baby moment ruined

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 00:00

Today, I rushed to my son’s house, eager to meet my new grand-baby, who his annoying wife wouldn’t let me see at the hospital. Before I could even pick the baby up, his wife started freaking out that I “smelled like cigarettes” and threw me out because it was “bad for the baby.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 1 120

Help! I need somebody!

By Not John, Paul, George or Ringo - 24/07/2025 03:00 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I tried cutting my own bangs to save money. When I was done, they were so crooked that my roommate thought I’d lost a bet. Now I have to go into work tomorrow looking like a rejected Beatles tribute act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 516

Why would you even have that?

By Ellis - 06/09/2025 14:00 - United States - Ephrata

Today, I was on FB Messenger talking to one of my friends who is a pastor about getting together playing golf and I meant to send him an emoji in our conversation, but accidentally sent an emoji sticker of my wife and me doing doggystyle. I quickly deleted it on my side, but it was still visible on his side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 486

But… I'm hungry!

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I ordered a pizza for delivery after a long day. When the delivery guy showed up, I realized I had no cash, so I tried to pay him using my credit card. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember the PIN, and after three failed attempts, the delivery guy just stared at me in awkward silence and said, "It’s okay, I’ll just take the pizza back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 511

Are you OK?

By Anonymous - 10/10/2025 22:00

Today, I was leaving a café. I pushed confidently on the glass door… which didn’t move. I pulled. Nothing. I pushed again, harder. Still nothing. A barista finally yelled, “Other side!” as I realized I’d been wrestling with a decorative wall mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 356

Snitch

By Anonymous - 15/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, as revenge for not buying her a new iPhone, my twelve-year-old daughter told her father that my boyfriend, who just moved in with us, is on the sex offender list. My ex turned my boyfriend into the cops and his parole could be revoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 1 781

Merry Mystery Christmas!

By Santa - 24/12/2025 00:00

Today, I wrapped all my Christmas gifts at midnight. In my exhaustion, I forgot to label them. On Christmas morning, everyone will open presents while I try to remember who was supposed to get socks versus who was supposed to get a coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 372

Oh wow, that's rude

By Nena - 26/12/2025 03:00

Today, I posted a meme on Facebook that said, “Dear Santa, I want a man who’s at least 6ft tall, abs, can plan dates, texts back, has a job and a car.” A friend of mine commented, “Dear Santa, I want a girl under 150lbs, no kids, no emotional baggage, self sufficient and doesn’t bitch 24/7.” His comment got 25 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 751

Crossed wires

By katsumi - 29/08/2025 05:00 - Japan - Setagaya-ku

Today, I spent hours carefully writing a super-polite email to an international law firm about an invoice mistake. I finally pressed send, only to realize I had addressed it to my gym trainer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 334

Risky business

By Bruisebutt - 01/12/2025 20:00

Today, after my husband whipped my ass with a belt the night before (consensual S&M sex, not abuse), I had to go to work and sit on a hard metal chair for eight hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 384

Isn't that some sort of crime?

By WHAT HAPPENED TO CHIVALRY - 16/02/2026 09:00

Today, my toddler bolted in a parking lot, running through lanes of cars, right past a man, and forcing me to drop everything I was holding and catch him. I gave the man hell, demanding to know why he didn't even try to stop my child from running into traffic. He just said, "Not my kid, not my problem." Asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 1 123

When you're a hammer…

By Anonymous - 09/11/2025 03:00

Today, my boyfriend, a blacksmith, said he needed a break because he had a terrible thumping pain in his anvil. It took me way too long to realise what he’d said and that he was taking the piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 263

Disconnect

By Sad vegan girl - 15/08/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I told my younger sister that meat comes from cute animals like chickens and cows, hoping she'd want to be vegan like me. Instead, she laughed and made up a song about how chickens turn into tenders and cows turn into cheeseburgers. I ended up being the one who got upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 1 300

To the moon!

By juggalo2 - 03/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told my wife I was getting nervous about the surge in silver prices, and I wanted to sell some of our holdings. She told me not to be a "paper-handsing little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 340

Decorum and etiquette

By Anonymous - 11/12/2025 12:00

Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 496

Snuggle

By Anonymous - 22/09/2025 03:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my partner by leaving a love letter on his car's windshield while he was at work. He texted me later saying, “You know you left that on my coworker’s car, right?” Now some stranger thinks I want to “snuggle forever.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 398

Spice it up

By Jan - 13/10/2025 20:00

Today, my husband came home, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom. Furious, I shrieked to be put down and demanded an explanation. He said, "I thought you wanted us to be more spontaneous…" Apparently, that means he should treat me like a sex toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 868

Totally worth it

By Sarah - 10/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 273

To infinity and beyond

By Gwen - 07/08/2025 21:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, it's much easier to get things on now in our 40s than it was when we were younger. However, if I want to boost things even further, I don't need adult movies, but an episode of the Buzz Lightyear show from 2000s. This guy gives me such a girl boner that my husband now calls our sexual stuff "Lightyearing around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 355

Watch people poop

By Anonymous - 28/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I decided to fix my squeaky door by following a DIY YouTube video, because the noise was really annoying. I took the entire door off its hinges... and couldn’t get it back on. I had door-less bathroom and my roommates had many questions before actually asking if they could help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 467

Another brick in the wall

By Anonymous - 28/09/2025 12:00

Today, I had a four and a half hour Saturday detention for skipping a regular detention. We had to wear full school uniform then sit at our desks and write an essay for two hours, then a 15 minute break, then another two hours of essay writing. I thought it was a cruel and harsh punishment, but did I deserve it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 701

Go team!

By Mustanggt - 28/11/2025 22:00

Today, my team was mistakenly scheduled against an over-60 team. I'd feel sorry for the old fogeys if they hadn't beaten us 3-0 and racked up seven yellow cards and a red on the way to doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 341

Single dad struggles

By Just kids being kids - 02/12/2025 12:00

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because of my kids’ behavior. The last one told me, “I’d rather get fisted by Freddy Krueger than deal with those hellspawn of yours!” At this point, I’m going to be a single dad forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 662

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The Top

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 709

You deserved it 47 525

Today, while driving on the streets for the first time, my mom decided that it would be an appropriate time to yell at me for every single mistake I’ve ever made in my life. This stressed me out so much I began driving against traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 168

Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 792

You deserved it 2 271

Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 269

You deserved it 1 091

Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 909

You deserved it 604

Today, I started a new fantasy romance novel. It was very interesting, but then later I read the plot on Wikipedia and spoiled not just the book but the whole series for myself. Why do I do this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 556