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Hero

By Anonymous - 13/10/2025 15:00

Today, I saw a guy struggling with weights at the gym so I tried to help. I grabbed one side of the barbell to “steady” it and instantly realized it weighed about as much as a fridge. I dropped it, tripped over the bench, and took out a water bottle display. He just said, “Thanks, hero.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 405

Not the time or the place

By Lauren - 13/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I built up the courage to approach my gym crush. I walked over, smiled, and said, "You smell amazing." I meant to say he looked amazing. He faintly smiled, then slowly went back to the rowing machines without saying a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 348

Sounds like an old joke

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 09:00

Today, I tried to compliment a friend by saying, “You look so much smarter with your new glasses on!” He responded with, “Thanks… You look so much uglier with my new glasses on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 419

Evel Knievel tribute act

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 15:00

Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 860

You gotta keep em up to dated

By Anonymous - 11/11/2025 00:00

Today, I just wanted to make a Sims 4 house, but it turns out that it hadn't been updated in a while, and I didn't even know. So, I am currently waiting for the update to download, and it's taking so longggg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 447

You've got this

By Winning - 07/12/2025 22:00

Today, I practiced a presentation in the work toilet mirror. When it was time to present, I accidentally repeated my “mirror pep talk” out loud: “You are powerful. You are unstoppable.” My coworkers stared like I was summoning spirits before a spreadsheet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 343

You really shouldn't have

By BB_Skylar - 11/10/2025 20:00

Today, I found that my (well-meaning and very kind) Dad cleaned up under my bed after a little mold problem. The problem? He cleaned up a few empty THC gummy containers and saw my dildo. And I thought living at home at uni was a good idea… FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 378

Lost

By Anonymous - 15/11/2025 09:00

Today, at a fancy restaurant, I walked into the restroom. After washing my hands, I looked up and noticed the urinals and the sudden presence of three very confused men. I had walked into the men’s bathroom. I pretended to check my phone like I was lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 362

Swings and roundabouts

By Anonymous - 14/02/2026 03:00

Today, I went to a community center event to make friends in a new city. I introduced myself to someone who seemed cool, then realized they were the event organizer who thought I was a volunteer who hadn’t shown up for their shift. They politely asked me to help stack chairs. I spent the night stacking chairs instead of meeting people. Now I’m on the volunteer email list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 402

Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend

By Anonymous - 15/02/2026 22:00

Today, the woman I thought I had friend-zoned dumped me because she has "met someone new." I really like her as a friend but felt zero attraction, so after one date I went out of my way not to give off the wrong signals when talking or meeting. It turns out she thought I was on my way out of the "relationship" anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 356

Rubbing it in

By Anonymous - 28/01/2026 03:00

Today, I was at a party at my ex's house; he'd invited the whole team. We of course don't talk, but I just figured out he had a girlfriend. He said it right in my face and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 363

What could've been…

By Sorry for trying i guess - 14/06/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I met my ex, who I still have feelings for, at a festival. It was my first time going after years of putting it off, and we had an amazing time. I thought we would have make up sex, until she looked at me, angrier than I'd ever seen her, and said, "Why couldn't you be this much fun when we were together?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 380

Wise words of wisdom to consider

By Anonymous - 01/12/2025 00:00

Today, I realized that in some of my early relationships the girls were so possessive and pushed for merger and marriage that they scared me, so now I can only be reliably attracted to women who don't want me. The slightest sign of interest in more than a fling and I'm out. It's been like this for 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 424

Skint

By Cheap date - 30/10/2025 15:00

Today, my husband took me out for my birthday dinner. When it was time to pay, he took out a stack of gift cards. I asked where he got them, and he said he got them as a bundle at Costco, and saved sixty bucks on the meal. He then got annoyed with me when I told him it made me not want birthday sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 884

Why would you even have that?

By Ellis - 06/09/2025 20:00 - United States - Ephrata

Today, I was on FB Messenger talking to one of my friends who is a pastor about getting together playing golf and I meant to send him an emoji in our conversation, but accidentally sent an emoji sticker of my wife and me doing doggystyle. I quickly deleted it on my side, but it was still visible on his side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 536

Self-esteem issues

By Anonymous - 07/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today a cute coworker asked me out to lunch but I said no because I know how unattractive I am, and didn't think he wanted to be seen with me. He got really pissed and told me that I needed to work on my self-esteem. I just blew up something that could have been wonderful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 640

Don't mess with crazy

By Just a joke - 17/09/2025 15:00

Today, I saw my buddy at the mechanic's on speaker with his wife. I did a very fake female voice and said, “He’s here with me! He’s my man now!” He rushed home to see all his stuff on fire on the front lawn. I had no idea how psycho she was and now he wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 676

Emoji etiquette

By Anonymous - 12/09/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my coworker texted me about her grandmother passing away. I meant to send a sad face but accidentally sent the party hat emoji. Now she probably thinks I was celebrating her grandma’s death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 311

I'm having a hard time, OK?

By Anonymous - 19/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I handed my phone to the cashier so they could scan my digital coupons. I forgot I had my grocery list open in Notes. The top of the list read: “1) Wine. 2) More wine. 3) Emergency chocolate. 4) Hide evidence.” The cashier didn’t say anything, just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 326

Tedious, yet annoying

By Bob - 30/09/2025 09:00

Today, I watched the Dallas Cowboys game, only for it to last for four hours and end in a 40-40 tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 397

Spice it up

By Jan - 13/10/2025 20:00

Today, my husband came home, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom. Furious, I shrieked to be put down and demanded an explanation. He said, "I thought you wanted us to be more spontaneous…" Apparently, that means he should treat me like a sex toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 972

Needs

By Bitchy girl who doesn't put out - 07/04/2026 09:00 - The Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Today, I suspected something was up when my boyfriend snuck out of bed after he thought I fell asleep. I caught him jerking to porn in the living room and got really upset. He actually got mad, saying, "I have needs and you never put out and get bitchy when I try." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 873

No good deed…

By Anonymous - 01/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I made a small batch of cookies and took them to work. Mostly everyone took one, but nobody said anything until I asked how they were. Someone asked what my recipe was, because it tasted like I'd forgot to add sugar. I bit into one. I had. The cookies tasted like muddy mush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 342

Am I still here?

By Anonymous - 12/01/2026 03:00

Today, I walked into the wrong classroom, sat down, took notes for ten minutes, and only realized my mistake when the professor asked me to introduce myself and explain why I was there. I wasn’t even enrolled in the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 344

No more fun

By Single - 10/01/2026 12:00

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement because I told him, "I've had fun, now I want to settle down in life." According to him, our marriage should be our fun. I have no idea what he's talking about. Yeah, mortgages and babies are such fun. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 890

Not funny

By Blue balled by porn - 02/12/2025 20:00

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 396

Not cool

By Anonymous - 06/10/2025 22:00

Today, I was trying to shop in peace when a single mom with a whole herd of loud brats went tearing through the aisles. I told her that if her kids had fathers they wouldn’t behave that way. The oldest screamed, “Our daddy died!” causing all the kids to break into hysterics. The mom cried too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 1 456

Risky business

By Bruisebutt - 01/12/2025 20:00

Today, after my husband whipped my ass with a belt the night before (consensual S&M sex, not abuse), I had to go to work and sit on a hard metal chair for eight hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 429

Almost famous

By Not on tiktok, never will - 29/09/2025 22:00

Today, someone asked for my autograph at the mall. Flattered, I signed their notebook and even posed for a selfie. Later I found out they'd thought I was some weird nerdy guy from TikTok. I’m not on TikTok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 381

Footie woes

By Anonymous - 30/09/2025 00:00

Today, the owners of the team I support continue to employ a manager so bad that he has to be a double agent. Is it too much for a Manchester United fan to ask for, that we don't get relegated? FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 329

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The Top

Today, I found out my ex got invited to our Christmas Party. I also found out that she got much more presents and money from my family than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 428

You deserved it 2 985

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 772

You deserved it 3 969

Today, I kissed my 3.5 GPA goodbye because my English teacher was too caught up planning her parrot's birthday party to put in the credit I deserve for three different essays I completed for her class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 317

You deserved it 384

Today, my roommate read an article about unplugging appliances to save on electricity. Too bad the fucking moron also unplugged the fridge. We came home to a corpse-like stench and a fridge full of moldy food. We were gone for two weeks while the sludge marinated in the California heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 315

You deserved it 218

Today, my husband wants to go on a trip to Tulum with his friend. I suggested I go as well, but he refused because it’s a "friends trip." He assures me that he "won’t sleep in the same bed with her or anything." I had to explain why it was still inappropriate. He still doesn’t get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 246

Today, I was riding my bike when I passed a derelict house that recently burned. Curious, I dismounted and went inside. I stepped on a nail, and while I was staggering in agony, I hit a weak spot in the floor and broke my other leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 793