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RIP Travis

By Fucking shithead asshole - 30/03/2026 15:00

Today, I came home to my daughter in her room, crying hysterically. She's been asking for a pet monkey for a few weeks, and my husband got tired of it and told her about Travis the Chimpanzee (don't look it up if you're squeamish). Thanks for ruining her innocence, prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 392

No kinkshaming!

By I'm a freak - 17/09/2025 20:00

Today, I watched Alien for the first time with my husband. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I got so wet during the facehugger scene, I had to fake a panic attack and ask him to turn the movie off because I was scared he'd notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 314

HSR FML

By ZelWinters1981 - 04/11/2025 12:00

Today, I applied for the health and safety representative role at work as an add-on to my role. I convinced a co-worker to put his name down along with mine so I wasn't the only one. He didn't want it so much, and it went to a vote… which I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 418

Planned obsolescence

By An unlucky day - 17/07/2025 00:00 - China - Anshan

Today, my iPad is too old to use. It often shows me a white screen or “loading” when I use it to surf the internet. The apps in the device close suddenly by themselves several times. Siri sometimes gives me an answer, but my parents aren’t going to solve these problems… FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 402

Confused

By Anonymous - 09/06/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my train was delayed, so I sprinted across the station to catch another one. I made it onto the train just before the doors closed. Then I looked around and realized I had boarded the exact same train I had just gotten off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 325

Write lists!

By No list - 23/12/2025 12:00

Today, I went to the grocery store for three items. I left with two full bags and forgot the one thing I actually needed. I didn’t realize until I got home, unpacked everything, and stared at the empty counter in disbelief. Next on my list: start making lists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 363

Trapped

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, it's been a week since my girl told me she's pregnant and I fled town in a panic. I realized how badly I fucked up and called her, begging to come back. When I showed up at her house, her brothers kicked my ass and threw me in the street, promising to wring me dry for child support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 1 136

Wobbly

By Anonymous - 15/09/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tripped getting on an escalator and instinctively grabbed the nearest person to steady myself. That person was a toddler. The mom screamed, I fell anyway, and the toddler just stared at me like I’d ruined his whole week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 420

Take your time

By Anonymous - 12/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 297

Where are they going??

By Anonymous - 23/12/2025 15:00

Today, I ordered a food delivery and tracked it obsessively because I was starving. When it 'arrived', I realized I’d sent it to my old address from two years ago. Support said it was “successfully delivered.” Somewhere, a stranger is enjoying my dinner while I eat crackers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 507

Human interface

By Anonymous - 24/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, at a supermarket self-checkout, I loudly complained to the machine, “Why won’t you scan, you useless idiot?” An employee walked up behind me and said, “You need to press ‘Start.’” FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 546

Words having meaning

By Consentmattersiguess - 28/01/2026 09:00

Today, I went to a party where a girl I like was there. I wanted to dance with her. She rebuffed me and said, “Consent matters.” Later on, I saw her grinding with another guy she'd just met. So apparently “consent matters” with me, a friend of two years, but not for a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 767

Corporate

By Drivel - 01/02/2026 00:00

Today, I was in a meeting with the team I lead and some of the bigwigs. I was discussing our recent successes, when one of my underlings decided to be a clown and made a dumb pun. The bigwigs all snorted and one said, "The half hour of boring drivel was worth it for that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 393

Sticky

By Zenoa - 14/08/2025 03:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to work hungover. I was in the back room by myself and thought I could trust a fart. I was so very wrong, and on my own for the next three hours and couldn't go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 456

Lost

By Anonymous - 15/11/2025 09:00

Today, at a fancy restaurant, I walked into the restroom. After washing my hands, I looked up and noticed the urinals and the sudden presence of three very confused men. I had walked into the men’s bathroom. I pretended to check my phone like I was lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 362

New look, huh?

By Dave - 15/06/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I tried a new beard trimmer that has a laser guide. I somehow set it too close to my skin and shaved a completely bald line straight through the middle of my beard. Now I look like a magician with a flesh mustache divider, or a bassist from a 90s nu-metal band. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 337

Sorry

By Chelsea - 08/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, on my way out to go on vacation, I set up an out-of-office auto-reply on my work email, which said: “Gone fishing. Don’t bother me unless someone dies.” The first person to receive it was a client whose grandfather had just passed away. He wasn't best pleased, judging by the angry email he sent in response. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 680

Keep your eyes on the prize

By Hugo - 14/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to Target with my girlfriend. As we were walking in, I saw a girl in a crop top and leggings walk by us. I instinctively turned my head to look so I could get her rear view. Not only was she flat as a board from the back, my now-ex noticed, broke up with me, and ordered a Uber home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 960

Read the chatroom

By Paul - 25/09/2025 03:00

Today, I logged into what I thought was my team’s Zoom meeting. I turned my camera on, waved, and said, “What’s up, nerds?” Unfortunately, I'd somehow joined a client onboarding call for the CEO. Nobody said anything for ten seconds, and then the CEO asked, “And you are…?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 444

You gotta keep em up to dated

By Anonymous - 11/11/2025 00:00

Today, I just wanted to make a Sims 4 house, but it turns out that it hadn't been updated in a while, and I didn't even know. So, I am currently waiting for the update to download, and it's taking so longggg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 446

You've got this

By Winning - 07/12/2025 22:00

Today, I practiced a presentation in the work toilet mirror. When it was time to present, I accidentally repeated my “mirror pep talk” out loud: “You are powerful. You are unstoppable.” My coworkers stared like I was summoning spirits before a spreadsheet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 341

i'm late

By Fluster time - 22/04/2026 09:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I work remotely and had an online meeting with clients in different time zones. I double-checked the time… or so I thought. I joined 30 minutes late, rushed in apologizing, only to realise I had actually logged into the wrong meeting entirely and interrupted another team’s presentation. My actual meeting had already ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 469

Work/life balancing act

By Clean up slob ass - 08/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my husband was working from home, so I asked him to clean the living room and basement. He started yelling about how he needs to focus and that I can't be "constantly distracting him." Sorry for expecting you to care for the space you live in, dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 1 257

You really shouldn't have

By BB_Skylar - 11/10/2025 20:00

Today, I found that my (well-meaning and very kind) Dad cleaned up under my bed after a little mold problem. The problem? He cleaned up a few empty THC gummy containers and saw my dildo. And I thought living at home at uni was a good idea… FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 366

Hero

By Anonymous - 13/10/2025 15:00

Today, I saw a guy struggling with weights at the gym so I tried to help. I grabbed one side of the barbell to “steady” it and instantly realized it weighed about as much as a fridge. I dropped it, tripped over the bench, and took out a water bottle display. He just said, “Thanks, hero.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 402

Sounds like an old joke

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 09:00

Today, I tried to compliment a friend by saying, “You look so much smarter with your new glasses on!” He responded with, “Thanks… You look so much uglier with my new glasses on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 413

Classic

By Anonymous - 09/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early by slowly backing my chair away from the table. One wheel got stuck, the chair flipped, and I took the loudest fall of my life in total silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 340

Rubbing it in

By Anonymous - 28/01/2026 03:00

Today, I was at a party at my ex's house; he'd invited the whole team. We of course don't talk, but I just figured out he had a girlfriend. He said it right in my face and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 361

Be careful what you wish for

By Cucked - 16/03/2026 03:00

Today, my wife agreed to live out my cuckold fantasy. I was watching her bang some guy from Tinder when my stomach suddenly turned and I realized I wasn't enjoying this as much as I hoped. I asked them to stop. They laughed and continued. I'm puking in the toilet and I can still hear them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 707

Skint

By Cheap date - 30/10/2025 15:00

Today, my husband took me out for my birthday dinner. When it was time to pay, he took out a stack of gift cards. I asked where he got them, and he said he got them as a bundle at Costco, and saved sixty bucks on the meal. He then got annoyed with me when I told him it made me not want birthday sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 877

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The Top

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 399

You deserved it 2 293

Today, the disgruntled ex-boyfriend of a woman who lives three floors down from me slashed her tires for breaking up with him. He also, for good measure, slashed the tires of the person parked to the left and right of her. I was parked to the right of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 824

You deserved it 2 200

Today, I finally told my parents I'm trans. My dad started crying and told me he loved me no matter what. My mother threw a chair at me, and told my dad it was his "wife-like" behaviour that made me this way. She then prayed out loud for an hour for God to send her a real husband and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 615

Today, no matter how many times I've asked, my dumbass neighbor can't get into the habit of regularly picking up after her six dogs. Her backyard is covered in shit with probably just inches between each pile or log. This means the wind blows the smell of shit in the direction of my house. I can't open a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 78

Today, a coworker told me that another coworker only treats me badly because I never asked her out. We’ve worked together for 3 years, if she wanted a date why didn’t she just ask me out instead? All she did was ruin her chances; she’s been so mean to me, I’d never ask her out now. What petty BS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 89

Today, I bumped into a guy I bullied for years at a bar. He was actually cool and laughed about it, but my stupid drunk ass kept urging him to hit me because I felt bad about it. We went outside and he thrashed me. At least we're friends now, I guess… FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 658