Are you OK? By Anonymous - 02/12/2025 09:00 Today, I answered a call I thought was from my friend and opened with, “What do you want, fuck face?” It was actually my dentist confirming my appointment. There was a long pause before she politely repeated my name to ensure they had the right patient. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 You deserved it 465 Share Tweet Share
Signed, sealed, delivered By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 09:00 Today, I received a package and confidently told the delivery guy I didn’t need to sign because it was “hands-free these days.” He stared at me, pointed at the giant screen that clearly required a signature, and said, “Not for this one.” I scribbled in shame. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 You deserved it 409 Share Tweet Share
Acquired taste By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 12:00 Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 You deserved it 22 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML I agree, your life sucks 4 264 You deserved it 391
Today, my doctor wants me to avoid carbohydrates, proteins, and fats. Yes, I am looking for another doctor while I scratch my head. FML I agree, your life sucks 476 You deserved it 104
Today, I tried to buy a bottle of juice on sale. When it didn't ring up the sale price, they told me that the bottle was just on the wrong shelf and it wasn't on sale. I demanded that they honor the price, and they had security escort me out, without the juice. FML I agree, your life sucks 123 You deserved it 970
Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 762 You deserved it 4 492
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 330 You deserved it 2 714
Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML I agree, your life sucks 39 101 You deserved it 4 318