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My house, anyone's rules

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 22:00

Today, my parents moved my senile grandpa in with us, but he keeps yelling at me for gaming and sometimes just switches my computer off. This is my house, not theirs. I work remotely, I’m not gaming, and their unemployed asses can’t even watch him closely enough to keep him out of my home office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 103

ESL FML

By Anonymous - 27/01/2026 09:00

Today, I’m a recent immigrant and finally felt confident enough to make a joke at work in my second language. During a meeting, I meant to say, “This deadline is tight,” but I said, “This deadline is aggressive.” The room went silent. My manager slowly replied, “The deadline is not mad at you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 110

Single and desperate

By Jenni - 29/01/2026 03:00

Today, I realized how single I truly am when I blurted out "Yes!" as soon as the priest asked the bride, "Do you take this man…" The bride was my sister and you could hear a pin drop after I blurted it out before she had a chance to respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 541

Payback

By Stupid stupid stupid - 30/01/2026 22:00

Today, I bumped into a guy I bullied for years at a bar. He was actually cool and laughed about it, but my stupid drunk ass kept urging him to hit me because I felt bad about it. We went outside and he thrashed me. At least we're friends now, I guess… FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 650

Don't bother

By NoticeTheLackOfNumbers - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 069

You deserved it 3 324

Empathy is never toxic

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 00:00

Today, I was sitting outside of a counseling center waiting for someone, watching an older lady bawl her eyes out as she exited the building. Absolutely broke my heart, because asking her if she was okay would have been intrusive and unasked for... and yet I can't get the sight of her crying out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 131

Sprightly

By Anonymous - 12/02/2026 09:00

Today, my husband (M72) and I (F69) had yet another argument over all the time he spends away from home doing hobbies and volunteering. After an emotional conversation about my moving out, he said, "Well, if we are done talking about that, let me tell you what I got to do today." Biggest emotional slap ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 432

Swings and roundabouts

By Anonymous - 14/02/2026 03:00

Today, I went to a community center event to make friends in a new city. I introduced myself to someone who seemed cool, then realized they were the event organizer who thought I was a volunteer who hadn’t shown up for their shift. They politely asked me to help stack chairs. I spent the night stacking chairs instead of meeting people. Now I’m on the volunteer email list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 394

Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend

By Anonymous - 15/02/2026 22:00

Today, the woman I thought I had friend-zoned dumped me because she has "met someone new." I really like her as a friend but felt zero attraction, so after one date I went out of my way not to give off the wrong signals when talking or meeting. It turns out she thought I was on my way out of the "relationship" anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 349

Classic

By imfucking25 - 19/02/2026 12:00

Today, I struggled to open a childproof bottle, which, by the way, had the instructions printed on the lid. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 276

Payback

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 09:00

Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 123

Jumping the gun

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 03:00

Today, I canceled our wedding that was scheduled for tomorrow because my fiancee's father passed away unexpectedly this morning. She got furious when I told her, because she still wanted to go through with it, and said that her dad would have wanted us to. Now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 678

Heavy sleeper

By Carm - 24/02/2026 22:00

Today, my cat thought it would be a GREAT idea to sleep in my bag. I only found out when I was driving to work. He isn’t allowed outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 137

White light

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 12:00

Today, my brain hates me and refuses to let me sleep. No matter how physically exhausted I am, my mind just keeps racing. I just wanna get some sleep! FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 65

Quite the catch

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 00:00

Today, I already felt like shit for no reason, only to find out my boyfriend been drinking again, even though he knows it worries me. He lives two hours away and I don't have a car. Apparently he's had two bottles of vodka, and he started getting nasty over the phone with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 138

The proposal

By Anonymous - 05/03/2026 20:00

Today, I proposed to my boyfriend. He laughed at me and said that proposing is a man's job, not a woman's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 161

Mr Hyde

By Anonymous - 12/03/2026 22:00

Today, I filed for divorce after only two months because my husband would not allow my kids to attend their father's funeral. I know it's necessary and I have to get my kids away from this prick, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 138

New BFF unlocked

By Anna - 16/03/2026 12:00

Today, it's been three years that I've worked as a waitress at a fine local restaurant. I like the work and it felt special when a regular customer, with my permission, hugged and complimented me, and said, "I appreciate you, 'Anna the Cool'. Thanks for helping to make this my fave restaurant." If only my friends were this nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 93

Healthcare is broken

By kimraye20 - 20/03/2026 00:00

Today, I've found out I developed carpal tunnel in my right hand and need surgery. On top of that I have degenerative arthritis in my left hip, which needs immediate surgery as well. I haven’t met my $5,000 insurance deductible and have to pay out of pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 74

Craving taste

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 15:00

Today, my husband caught me sneaking out of his parents' house to get food. I love my in-laws, they’re the type of people others dream of having, but the food is so horrible. I don’t understand how in such a large family of amazing people not one of them has figured out how to make a decent meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 95

Been there, done that

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 12:00

Today, my parents told me that they don't respect my decision to stay single for the rest of my life and never date again, and have made it clear they will continue pressuring me to find someone new. I'm only 27 and I've already been both widowed and divorced. I'm done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 112

Give peace a chance

By Anonymous - 05/04/2026 03:00

Today, I found out that my mom withdrew me from karate at the insistence of my my fucking stepdad, who's a wimpy sissy pacifist who is against violence. I was so close to getting my black belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 85

My body, my choice

By Anonymous - 06/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents are sending me to boot camp. All because I drove my sister to her abortion when they wouldn't. Not even she can stop them from doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 144

Bang bang bank

By Freerickson - 12/04/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, I learned that you should never take a girl you meet at the club home, even if she looks like she wouldn’t hurt a fly. We had the most amazing sex ever and I guess the edibles we had threw me off-guard. I woke up to find her gone and my house cleaned out. I didn’t even get her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 246

Lower your expectations

By Aghha - 17/04/2026 14:00 - United States

Today, my Hinge date threw a fit because I refused to put out after he took me to an expensive restaurant. I told him, “If you spent over $200 with the expectation of pussy, you should have hired a prostitute instead.” He replied, “If all you wanted was to eat food and not fuck, you should have DoorDashed instead.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 179

Shut up and play the hits

By Stefan - 19/04/2025 09:00 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, I asked my 10 year-old guitar student why Good Friday is a holiday. He answered, "We remember Jesus Christ's crucifixion. Isn't it sad to kind of celebrate someone's death? Well, I don't care, I just enjoy the free holiday and I don't believe in magic anyway!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 560

Living alone, but not really

By Anonymous - 20/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I finally have my own space and was hopeful that I would get to improve myself in different ways, personally… except that the thin walls contradicts my personal goal during this moment of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 143

Great expectations

By Anonymous - 26/04/2025 05:00 - United States

Today. my four year-old grand-daughter asked her mother why she married her father, since he wasn't a Prince. I think we need to dial back the Disney movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 133

Way too smooth

By Stud - 30/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I took my crush to see a movie. During the movie, I made a move and put my arm around her. As I reached over, my hand went straight into the popcorn tub, and I knocked it over. It spilled everywhere, all over her lap, all over me, and on the floor. I spent the next 15 minutes trying to clean up, while she awkwardly avoided eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 389

Who are you? Who am I?

By Anonymous - 05/05/2025 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to the grocery store and saw a guy I thought I recognized. I walked up to him and said, “Hey, are you so-and-so from high school?” He looked at me blankly and said, “Nope, don’t know you.” To cover up my embarrassment, I blurted out, “Well, you should! I was the funniest person in our class!” He stared at me for a second before replying, “OK, I’m calling security.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 659

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The Top

Today, I was unable to go on my dream vacation because I thought I'd lost my passport. Feeling incredibly stupid, I had no choice but to watch my plane depart without me. Shortly after, my brother handed me passport, saying that since I wasn't going on my trip, I could use my refund to pay for his cat's surgery. My trip was non-refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 965

You deserved it 219

Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 494

You deserved it 2 723

Today, I was terminated from my job. This comes after I sent HR an email about an inappropriate relationship between my manager and a counselor. Seems like I should have kept my mouth shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 561

You deserved it 4 522

Today, I witnessed a postal worker with an important parcel stopping before knocking on my door, shrugging, getting back in his van, and driving away. I couldn't get the door open quickly enough before he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 922

You deserved it 184

Today, my soon-to-be-ex husband threw an epic tantrum, with crying, snotty nose, throwing himself on the floor, grabbing me by my feet, begging me not to leave him, and that he’s “so sorry” after I confronted him about the sexts and nudes he’s been sending to another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 119

Today, I sent an email to my boss saying I'd fixed a glitch in our mail servers. He called me later, angrily shouting that I'd done a piss-poor job of fixing it, because my email had spammed his inbox with several hundred duplicate messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 865

You deserved it 11 346