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Cursed

By Freddie - 25/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 143

Get me out of here!

By Anonymous - 27/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, because I'm still the emergency contact for my ex, I'm waiting to take him home after a routine surgery. I'm also trapped with his potential next girlfriend, who showed up and is trying to become best friends with me. She has giggled after every sentence for the past three hours like she's twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 136

One lonely Stanley cup

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 10:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my kids refused to wake up on time, and I was at least 30-45 minutes late to work. Oh, and I forgot to bring my coffee to work. The travel thermos is still sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 345

Reuniting with trauma

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 03:00 - Sweden

Today, people in my class reunion bullied me because of a skin condition I have called xeroderma pigmentosum. It makes it so that I get sunburned really easily, and they did it just like they did back in middle school. I hated my life then but when I heard them say it again, I just started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 90

Knackered

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I'm being admitted to the hospital for severe exhaustion. Why am I exhausted? For spending 12 hours at the hospital while my sister gave birth. The same hospital I'm being admitted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 183

You deserved it 6 130

New friend

By Rich - 26/04/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today. after I moved to a new area, I bumped into an old guy on crutches who asked me where the doctor's was. I wasn't sure, so Google Mapped it. I read the map wrong and sent him in the opposite direction. I've seen him twice since and I reckon if he could catch me, he'd kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 179

Beware!

By MomOfTheYear - 28/04/2025 03:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I took my toddler to a petting zoo and warned her not to stick her fingers in the goat pen. Two minutes later, I stuck my finger in to pet one, and it bit me. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “See? I told you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 651

I ain't no hollaback girl

By Anonymous - 03/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I was walking my dog when a car slowed down, and a guy leaned out of the window, then yelled, "Hey, nice dog!" Naturally, I turned to reply, "Thank you!" only to find that the guy had no intention of complimenting me at all. He had been talking to the dog the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 230

Someone check in on this guy

By Klinger - 08/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 88

Let's pretend this never happened

By Anonymous - 10/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I ran into an old friend in a grocery store. We both went in for a hug, but at the exact same moment we both leaned in for a cheek kiss. We ended up awkwardly smashing faces together and then slowly pulling away, silently pretending that whatever that was didn’t just happen. We haven’t spoken since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 127

WTF?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2025 09:00 - Philippines

Today, with a nagging feeling about my girlfriend cheating on me, I decided to look through her phone. She walked in on me, and before I could come up with an excuse, she rolled her eyes and said, "Go ahead. The only things I have to hide are saucy pics of Darth Maul." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 744

Roomba shuffle

By Anonymous - 17/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I came home to shredded tissues all over the floor. I yelled at my dog, who looked guilty but confused. Turns out, it wasn’t him, it was my robot vacuum cleaner again. It had sucked up a bunch of tissues and napkins from under the couch and then spread them all over the place like confetti. I owe my dog an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 516

Daily struggle

By Anonyme - 21/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I'm pulling myself up by my bootstraps again. I have Ehlers-Danlos syndromes and don't metabolize protein properly, which led to a massive protein deficiency after losing 6lb in a week from a medical emergency. I just did two rounds of physical therapy a year ago and lost all of the muscle. I'm tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 77

Meritocracy, huh?

By Anonymous - 23/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my dad got mad at me for not believing him when he kept repeating that our dear leader was appointing Judge Judy to the government. I then found out he wasn't far off, so I don't know which is worse, that he was technically correct about some TV judge, or that the actual "judge" is even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 190

A for Effort, but…

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up to balloons, streamers, and my roommates yelling “SURPRISE!” Unfortunately, they got the wrong day. My birthday is next week, and now I'll probably have to pretend to be surprised again in seven days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 99

Health kick

By What am I supposed to do? - 31/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 168

I get around

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 20:00 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my slutty ex, whom I'd dumped because she cheated on me, cheated on her new boyfriend as well. With me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 677

It must be love

By Anonymous - 11/06/2025 14:00

Today, my girlfriend went through my phone and when she found nothing she accused me of having a secret second phone, and is tearing apart the house and both cars looking for a secret phone. I’ve been making calls so the cops and a locksmith are on their way, I need this bitch out of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 103

Fireworks

By Anonymous - 15/06/2025 03:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I tried to microwave a leftover burrito. I forgot to remove the foil it was wrapped in. The microwave went into overdrive in a dramatic display of sparks, the fire alarm went off, and I had to convince the neighbors at my door not to evacuate their apartments. I still haven’t eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 618

Too late to take it back

By Anonymous - 16/06/2025 16:00 - Canada - King City

Today, I texted my cousin to ask if he and his wife got the baby onesie I sent, as they are expecting their first child together. Turns out they got it, but it upset his wife as she had recently lost the baby. No one had told me before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 72

It's a surprise alright

By Taylor - 20/06/2025 12:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my best friend. I told her to “be home by 7 for a little surprise.” She got home at 6:55… with her new boyfriend. Surprise: he hadn’t been invited. Awkward family introductions followed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 107

Choices

By mybodyhatesme - 23/06/2025 17:00 - United States - Clive

Today, I started chemo. My immune system is so bad, it keeps attacking organs throughout my body. I just got a job I love that pays well and has insurance for once, but I’m not sure I can keep working to pay for it, due to chemo side-effects and risky conditions of the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 76

Pesky wildlife

By PH… - 02/07/2025 16:00 - United States - Midland

Today, I have horrible heartburn (as opposed to wonderful) so I went to pick my fresh Aloe vera for treatment… and saw it was all chewed up by wildlife, who apparently also have heartburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 120

Anti-advertisement

By Anonymous - 06/07/2025 14:30 - Iran - Bushehr

Today, I was preparing to migrate the bookmarks from Edge to Brave, but during my migration process, four bookmark folders and some pages suddenly disappeared for some unknown reason. Those were saved a year ago, and they’re very important to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 135

Back to square one

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I created a 3D sculpture for a competition that I was hoping might impress some people, and maybe lead to a job with a particular company. I finished it last night for the competition, but this morning I realised it’s too big to get it out of my front door without taking it apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 275

Not so slinky

By BarneyRubble - 13/07/2025 15:00 - Ireland

Today, I managed to lock myself out of my house again. My only option was crawling through the dog door. I managed it once before, but I must've put on weight because this time I got stuck halfway. My neighbour came over to “see if everything was OK.” He then helped push me through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 400

Modern romance

By Herbie03 - 15/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my partner caught me cheating... on ChatGPT. I was secretly using AI to write my love poems. She said that she knew it, because she could “feel the difference in emotional tone.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 617

Choose your family wisely

By Anonymous - 18/07/2025 22:00 - Serbia - Belgrade

Today, did you ever ask yourself if someone loves you? I have, so many times, and my answer is always nobody. I live with my grandma and my sister; my sister has one boyfriend from Russia, and my grandma has sex every night, and I feel invisible. Only my neighbor makes me feel like a real family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 143

Always with you

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I hung up the phone and went to tell my dad that I’d finished switching all the utilities into my name. Then I remembered I was switching them into my name because of his death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 73

The big waiting room

By Big sad - 27/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Steele

Today, my depression has reached the point where I'm not sure if I'm even living anymore. Sure, I'm very much alive and able to type this, but I feel as though I'm just existing. Taking up space. Doing nothing. I can't be alone here, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 125

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, after months of correcting him, I got so used to my boss calling me "Alex" that I didn't respond to my own name several times today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 363

You deserved it 3 665

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 108

You deserved it 20 265

Today, I decided to eat healthier. I started with making 2 eggs and burning down whole kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 334

You deserved it 832

Today, I signed up for karaoke at a bar, thinking I’d picked a fun, easy song. When it started playing, I realized I'd unknowingly chosen the eight-minute extended remix with two full guitar solos. I had to awkwardly sway on stage for five minutes while everyone drank their beers silently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 356

Today, I spent my afternoon rummaging through old jeans and other pants, due to being broke and needing cash for ramen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 302

You deserved it 5 149

Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 779

You deserved it 4 392