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I wasn't sure if maybe I was being too harsh or petty, so all your comments make me feel a bit lesser of a lousy friend myself. Anyway some extra details and answers to your questions: I've lived abroad for a few years now, but due to constant moving around, I haven't been able to really form a decent group of friends. One of my last birthdays no one I invited showed up as I happened to be sharing the date with two other people from the same groups, but whom I was not good enough friends with to hold a joint party with, and all my guests split between the two. One of the next ones I only told a select few, who I then considered to be my friends and promised me 'a nice lunch at least', and then bailed. My BFF knew all about this, and knew how big of a deal it was for me to finally maybe be able to have a nice day. Of course, I understand that life goes on and I can't except people to just turn up when I want them to, which is why I tried to plan this a month in advance, the date being in talks for ages now. When the discussion came up, his date was still being decided on. And, yes - it is his birthday party as well, not just a party. However, he is celebrating his over two days, and could pick a different weekend as well (which was in cards, apparently), but chose not to. I, however, am restricted to that one day due to only having a couple of holiday days. And no, I don't think 'just two months' means that the relationship isn't serious, but I do feel that under the circumstances I should have priority. She made it clear it wasn't a difficult decision, which is, perhaps, what upsets me the most. Yes, we are all adults. No, the date wasn't sprung on her out of nowhere and no plans were set in stone. I only get to see her a couple of days a year (we talk more often, of course!) and they get to see each other if not daily then at least weekly. I don't take her to be a person who normally just bails or forgets her friends, I just think she's new to this whole situation and I don't think this necessarily needs to mean the end of our friendship, but I can't help but feel really hurt by this whole situation. I just never saw this ever being an option with her.

Hey, OP here. Here are some more details, for those curious: - All FMLs must begin with the word "Today", but this actually happened a couple of years ago. My GF and I are still together. - Yes, it was a full-blown panic attack, and the only one I've ever had in my life. Never having experienced one before, I thought it was something like a heart attack. What got edited out of the FML was that we actaully called paramedics and I ended up in emergency. - We got the handcuffs off and some normal clothes on my GF (I was already fully clothed) before the paramedics arrived, so there was no need for embarrassing explanations. For a minute though, it was a real concern. - I still don't know what exactly the trigger was. Both my GF and I were pretty nervous and weren't really enjoying ourselves. (We should have stopped when it was clear that neither of us really wanted to continue, but we figured we would try anyway.) I think her anxiety contributed to mine, eventually leading to the panic attack. - We *did* try again a few weeks afterward, when we were both much more "in the mood." No panic attack that time, but we pretty much confirmed that neither of us liked being restrained before or during sex. We both had fantasies about this sort of thing, which is what led us to try it in the first place, but reality proved much different than our imaginations. - For those wondering, they were simple police-style handcuffs, not anything specifically made for bondage play.