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Hey guys, OP here. It was an overnight flight so they had the lights off, but I could still see the outline of objects and he definitely moved right before he tripped me. And my eyesight is fine. I just can't believe this got posted

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 21:18 - United States

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 822

You deserved it 12 929

By too good - 24/10/2014 10:54 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 091

You deserved it 14 602

By Anonymous - 23/07/2013 04:48 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 835

You deserved it 30 789

By turriblebday - 17/12/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 020

You deserved it 2 602

By DED - 21/03/2019 20:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I found out that a co-worker has been promoted to Store Manager. She has been here for less than 6 months, and I have been with the company for 10 years. Guess who has been training her for the last 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 463

You deserved it 280

Thank you for your service

By Auburn_flame - 27/03/2019 00:00

Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 546

You deserved it 370

By bilouute - 26/01/2014 08:05 - France - Talence

Today, I was saying goodbye to my fiancée on a train station platform. I got on the train, the doors closed, and trying to be romantic, I blew on the glass to draw a heart in the condensation. It made the drawing of a previous passenger appear: a cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 130

By Cantbreath94 - 13/11/2010 06:07 - Canada

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 662

You deserved it 3 144

By Bad Mum? - 01/04/2019 00:00 - United Kingdom - Harrow

Today, my eldest son told me he wishes he lived with his dad. This after I, two years ago, managed to get myself and my children out of the abusive situation we were in. Why? He didn't want to tidy his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 510

You deserved it 228

By animal45 - 07/11/2010 01:32 - China

Today, things were getting steamy with my boyfriend. For once, I tried to be more vocal to turn him on. After five minutes, he says, "Could you stop making animal noises, I feel like I’m fucking in a farmyard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 104

By Emerics - 31/05/2014 07:00 - Norway - Stavanger

Today, I was getting frisky with my girlfriend. It was going well until we had to put our clothes back on quickly because someone was coming upstairs. It was my sister, who opened the door and said, “It smells like salami in here! Can I have some?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 105

By tbree - 19/09/2014 22:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 4 479

Gamer girl woes

By justanothergamergirl - 17/04/2019 20:00

Today, and for the past two weeks, I decided to try online gaming, as it's something I've never done before. I already have a creep stalking me because I mentioned I was single and he's a horny virgin. Remind me never to talk about my lack of love life online again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 1 194

By MysticSoup - 22/04/2019 04:00 - United States - Carthage

Today, I asked my doctor out on a date. He had his nurse turn me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 3 976

By Potted - 16/11/2015 02:34 - United States - Denton

Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 986

You deserved it 3 914

By oops - 15/07/2012 05:34 - United States

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 880

You deserved it 44 580

By texaskitty86 - 26/12/2016 05:58 - United States - Gilbert

Today, my mother got married. My siblings and I only found out when the pool hall she held the ceremony at posted the news on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 224

You deserved it 523

texaskitty86 tells us more.

texaskitty86 25

Sunday 1 January 2017 1:18

Holy crap I finally got published! A little back ground, we knew that mom and her now husband had gotten a marriage license almost 2 months ago but had never gotten it signed (therefor not legally married). We had talked about it the week before and she had told me she didn't think she'd go through with it because he is an alcoholic (like her), abusive, and irresponsible. We were shocked and more then a little upset that she had gone through with it, and that she hadn't told anyone about it, but at this point we're all used to this kind of behavior and I haven't talked to her since.

By Grinch - 24/12/2016 12:08

Today, it's Xmas Eve, and my partner's quick afternoon catch-up with his friends has turned into 5 messy drunks in our house at 1am. So it's no to the "us" time evening we had planned before spending tomorrow with our families who live over 3 hours away. Guess who had promised to drive and now can't? FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 407

You deserved it 737