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By amburrjade - 22/09/2015 05:18 - United States - Austin

Today, my boyfriend and I got in a fight about which is better: Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. We aren't speaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 259

You deserved it 9 842

amburrjade tells us more.

amburrjade 28

Wednesday 23 September 2015 4:57

Hi guys! I'm the OP :) I'm 19, and my boyfriend's 20. I thought LotR was better, personally. To be fair, I've only seen one of the Star Wars movies, and he's only seen half of one of the LotR movies, so we were both a little biased. This was last night though, and by the morning, it was forgotten. We're all good now. Thanks for your comments! :)

By kill the audience - 10/11/2016 17:51 - United States - Lewes

Today, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my blind date to come. I had sat for an hour until I finally got fed up and went to leave when at the same time the guy at the table next to me stood up to leave too. I noticed he had been sitting alone. Turns out he was my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 486

You deserved it 2 025

Lay the blame

By jobless - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a guy came into my gas station, showed me the gun on his hip, and asked me to kindly empty the register. My asshole boss claimed afterwards that because we live in an open carry state, and because the guy didn't point the gun at me, that there was no actual robbery and I just gave him free money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 374

You deserved it 2 889

You must conform

By lefthandspanker - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Craig

Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 352

You deserved it 1 718

Card problem

By BureaucraticLimbo - 01/01/2020 14:00

Today, I was told I can't renew my Identity Card without a Social Security Card, and I can't get a replacement Social Security Card without an Identity Card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 446

You deserved it 528

Wild Child

By epic flash - 02/10/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter's quirkiness and eccentricities may have gone to a whole new level when her school faculty described her as "no stranger to LSD". She's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 116

You deserved it 281

Out of it

By damn you Ambien - 03/08/2016 05:48 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I woke up to an angry and threatening email from a porn company. Apparently, I took a sleeping pill last night and wrote a nasty email to the company about how they mistreat women. The best part is that I used a web contact form instead of an email, so I have absolutely no idea what I wrote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 406

You deserved it 2 812

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 15:14

Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 011

You deserved it 917

Book smarts

By Anonymous - 05/07/2016 16:19 - United States - South Sioux City

Today, my teacher marked a test question wrong, even though I was sure I got it right, so I went online to check. I found a government-approved website showing proof that my answer was correct. My teacher still counted it wrong, because, "We follow the book." That book's older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 876

You deserved it 898

Terms and conditions

By albinoalligator - 04/07/2016 00:48 - United States - Elkton

Today, I declined an apartment because it didn't have a detachable shower head that I could use for my enjoyment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 401

You deserved it 20 267

By Anonymous - 22/02/2018 15:00

Today, I came out as transgender to my extremely accepting and religious family over Facebook. My feed is currently flooded with plans for my exorcism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 654

You deserved it 1 568

Weirdo

By ReineXre - 15/06/2016 00:00

Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 524

You deserved it 735

By longest minute - 25/05/2016 11:28 - United States - Cypress

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 742

You deserved it 2 689

(That's 77° in Freedom Units)

By Anonymous - 19/05/2018 20:30

Today, we're having my grandmother over. Because we don't have a guest room, she is sleeping in mine. It is 25°C at night and she is sleeping naked with her dog right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 038

You deserved it 371

Nope nope nope

By kill me - 07/05/2016 00:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to repeatedly explain to my nosy, interfering, clingy, no-concept-of-personal-space mom that I'm not okay with her moving into my new house, or the same neighborhood, or even the same goddamn state as me when I get married next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 041

You deserved it 1 950

By Imdeadlmaokillme - 22/03/2016 20:47 - United Kingdom - Twickenham

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 801

You deserved it 22 782

By Anonymous - 20/09/2018 03:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I wanted to talk about marriage and our future with my boyfriend of over 10 years. My 30-year-old boyfriend responded by hiding under a blanket and pretending he couldn't hear me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 128

You deserved it 700

Caught in 4K

By Oops - 03/01/2016 19:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I wanted to tease him, so I got his attention and made my orgasm face when I thought no one was looking. His thirteen year-old cousin saw and now bursts out laughing whenever he sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 300

You deserved it 19 629

By Ouch - 06/03/2017 22:00 - United States - Amelia

Today, I found out that unlike in movies, you really don't know you're shot until you see the gunshot wound. Then, once the adrenaline wears off, it's complete agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 073

You deserved it 443

It's time to grow up

By Lewis - 27/01/2019 19:00 - France - Paris

Noooooooo!

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 181

By MJB - 02/04/2017 22:00

Today, as a 17-year-old, after having gone to the doctor to about some unusual hair loss, it turns out I simply have crappy genetics, and should expect to be fully bald within a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 072

You deserved it 416

By Fat Jon - 29/10/2015 19:43 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I went to a costume contest as Jon Snow from Game of Thrones. I won, which was nice, until I was told that the only flaws in my "Samwell Tarly" outfit were my long hair and wrong sword. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 759

You deserved it 2 833

Urine trouble

By boopingsnoot - 07/07/2017 02:04

Today, while working at the vet, we had a familiar little dog show up for a minor procedure. The dog always sits on its owner's lap on the drive over, and always gets peed on. Not talking about dog pee. And we're not allowed to bathe it because that service costs extra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 843

You deserved it 376

By Anonymous - 24/07/2017 07:00 - United States - Warren

Today, while having a bad dream, I went to punch a bully in the face. Mid-swing I wake up and punch the solid concrete wall to my basement bedroom FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 294

You deserved it 655

By Jinx - 21/08/2017 22:15 - United Kingdom - Dorchester

Today, I got a stern talking-to from the police about threatening and harassing people. Who had called them? None other than my stalker, whom I'd just informed about the restraining order I was filing against him after finding him in my house. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 433

You deserved it 254

By Tryingmybest - 14/07/2016 21:44 - Japan - Akita

Today, I'm studying abroad in Japan. For the first time, I had to ride the train home from school alone. My host sister told me which train and the time it left. I sat down on the train, feeling proud of myself when I realized she didn't tell me what stop was ours, and I barely speak Japanese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 270

You deserved it 1 717

Tryingmybest tells us more.

Tryingmybest 6

Saturday 16 July 2016 1:37

Hey! OP here. Thanks for your concern, everyone! ありがとう！ So what happened was my school is an hour away from my host family's home, and I've only taken it a few times so far with my host sister. So I really panicked when I got on the train and forgot what number our stop was! And my wifi doesn't work here, so Google Translate was a no go. So I sort of just sat there quietly panicking for an hour. Luckily, I have taken a year of Japanese and was able to ask some basic questions, and the announcer said the name of my town at least five times before we arrived, so in the end all was okay! Also, Japan is awesome.