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By Marmarfarfar - 01/08/2016 17:23 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I walked up to my sister's car to give her some money I owed her. She refused to open the window and take back the money. After begging her to open the window, a passer-by mistook me for a beggar and gave me some loose change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 511

You deserved it 1 365

Marmarfarfar tells us more.

Marmarfarfar 25

Wednesday 3 August 2016 1:43

I was so shocked and confused I kind of just froze and the person had already walked off before I could even process what happened! My sister was just laughing so hard the whole time. I did pay it forward though!

Sunny day

By CasperTheFriendlyGhost - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 989

You deserved it 1 379

Ouch

By leaannec30 - 10/07/2016 18:52 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I thought my car was overheating. I then thought it was wise to put my hand close to my muffler to feel the heat. Needless to say, I stuck my entire hand on my muffler then had to drive around with the only cold thing in my car. A cold beer from my cooler. Yes, I got pulled over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 763

You deserved it 11 980

Hatchet job

By Anonymous - 24/01/2018 01:30

Today, I got my hair trimmed to look fresh for my sister's wedding this week. The woman messed up so badly that the manager had to step in and fix it. I lost 8 inches of hair and my dad keeps telling me I look like a medieval stable boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 233

You deserved it 371

Just in case

By DesperateMother - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - France - Wasselonne

Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 245

You deserved it 1 171

By Malarky - 23/06/2016 19:10 - United States

Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 280

You deserved it 1 246

By Anonymous - 11/01/2014 02:25 - United States

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 000

You deserved it 9 627

By TrashGirl - 24/06/2018 01:30

Today, for our 8th wedding anniversary I gave my husband several well-thought-out gifts. He gave me divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 001

You deserved it 399

Cover me

By Mrmz07 - 01/05/2016 09:32 - United States - Midland

Today, I was called in to work on my day off to cover for a co-worker because she was busy getting it on with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 676

You deserved it 1 592

By singlemam - 15/03/2016 01:51 - United States - Akron

Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 212

You deserved it 2 089

By OwieOwie - 29/10/2018 12:00 - United Kingdom - Tewkesbury

Today, my gallstones flared up so badly an ambulance was called. I needed the strongest painkillers they could supply and had even more at the hospital. When my boyfriend came to visit me, instead of comforting words, he told me that "being kicked in the balls is still worse". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 080

You deserved it 309

By onlyjuggalos - 31/01/2016 08:13 - United States

Today, I told my grandpa that I want to join the police force. His response: "You wanna lynch some blacks without the jail time, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 608

You deserved it 2 585

Baby love

By bushy brows - 04/01/2016 23:13 - United States - Prior Lake

Today, I recently gave birth to my daughter, and my husband and I both have dark hair and bushy eyebrows. We never thought it was a problem until our daughter was born with a dark, bushy unibrow. Now I'm too nervous to take pictures of her 'cause our family and friends laugh every time they see her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 268

You deserved it 3 526

By keerta_fml - 04/05/2017 02:00

Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 826

You deserved it 442

Mommy issues

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as I was picking up my 7 year-old daughter at my ex-husband's house, my daughter started crying saying that she wanted to stay with Daddy forever. I asked why. She said her stepmom was a better mommy. Apparently, the woman who broke up my marriage is now a better "Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 938

You deserved it 9 356

By Canceled Wedding - 25/05/2017 22:00

Today, I found out that because we made a mistake and applied for the wrong visa first, my fiancé probably can't fly into America to attend his own wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 647

You deserved it 1 294

By Anonymous - 20/09/2015 13:24 - United States

Today, while enjoying a truly epic move from my wife in the hotel shower, I managed to accidentally pull the "grab bar" from the wall and clock her in the side of the head. Three stitches at the Urgent Care later, she's explaining to the entire waiting room how it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 821

You deserved it 3 478

By C BOMB - 14/09/2015 23:58 - Australia - Toowong

Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 899

You deserved it 19 382

By knifewow - 20/10/2016 08:30 - Australia - Ashgrove

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 432

You deserved it 13 488

By swee t - 21/09/2016 19:02 - United States - Greensboro

Today, I got a bill from my former attorney for the call he made to me begging me not to turn him in for stealing all my money and almost causing me lose my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 631

You deserved it 1 067

Pink Lightsaber

By Obi-Wan - 08/09/2019 04:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I walked in on my 17 year-old son masturbating. He froze, raised his hand and tried to use the "force" to remove the memory. I'm regretting ever having let him watch Star Wars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 486

By datingfail - 14/08/2016 12:06 - Australia - Northcote

Today, I went on a date with a guy who told me his main aim in life is to live alone in an isolated lighthouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 841

You deserved it 1 139

By Jason - 31/10/2017 04:00

Today, I found out that my best friend's dad used my internet connection to make threats online. I'm going to have to go to court for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 336

You deserved it 275

By Foreveralone - 22/07/2016 08:54 - United States - Hartford

Today, I was told I'm not invited to my best friend's birthday party. Apparently, being divorced and childless doesn't "mesh" well with the rest of the group. My parents are still watching her kids so she can go away for the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 135

You deserved it 901

By Anonymous - 30/12/2017 15:00

Today, after 4 years of college to get a BA in Marketing and 2 years to get an MBA, I landed a great job as a receptionist. My boss likes to fist bump when I buzz him through the security door correctly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 231

You deserved it 826

After vacation

By Anonymous - 23/12/2019 18:00

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 527

You deserved it 288

By Anonyme - 22/06/2016 05:15 - Switzerland - Geneve

Today, I was trying to seduce a really good-looking girl, when all of a sudden she leaned in towards me and said, “Sorry, I’m not drunk enough to make out with you.“ FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 778

You deserved it 3 435

By Lightlysalted - 19/04/2018 19:00

Today, I was invited to a special meal for receiving a scholarship from my college. My mom refuses to take me because “your sister’s going there too and didn’t get a scholarship; it wouldn’t be fair to her.” I guess fairness doesn’t apply to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 317

You deserved it 240

By Anonymous - 06/05/2018 06:00

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to jump out from behind the bedroom door to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. I slipped and broke two ribs when I hit the ground. Instead of a sexy birthday evening, he got to take me to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 519

You deserved it 1 454

By proud parent - 21/05/2016 16:03 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my two year-old has learned new things from his best friend. His best friend is our dog. He's learned to eat dog food, lick people, and now he's started taking off his diaper to lift his leg and pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 519

You deserved it 1 573

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The Top

Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 734

You deserved it 3 632

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 136

You deserved it 536

Today, my manager cussed me out for being unable to keep a customer happy. That "customer" was a senile old twit who had wandered away from his carer, thought our shop was his living room, and demanded to know who replaced all his furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 461

You deserved it 397

Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 314

Today, I phoned my ex, who I only broke up with a week ago. I then told her about the song I'd written about her. I have written a song, but it's shite and I would die of embarrassment if I ever had to play it to her. I’ll have to play it to her and confess my simpy, wet ways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 1 963

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted to help a little girl who was alone and looked lost. All I managed to say was, "Hi my name is…" when she screamed and set off an actual rape alarm in her pocket. I was tackled by about 3 people, while my girlfriend did nothing to help me except laugh and start filming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 279

You deserved it 125