Miscellaneous: Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would... - FML

By PrettyScared - 29/07/2013 15:07 - United States - Matthews

Spicy

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 648

You deserved it 6 057

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Inappropriate

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 19:39 - Ireland - Mountmellick

Spicy

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 695

You deserved it 3 261

Creepy disruption

By Anonymous - 27/02/2023 10:00

Today, my stepbrother, with whom I’ve had a normal relationship with since we were 5, announced that he’s in love with me. I rejected him, but now my stepmom who’s Catholic is blaming me for "seduction and immorality" blah blah, while my dad now thinks my brother is a pervert who needs to live somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 108

By Shantoya - 17/01/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 890

You deserved it 2 990

By TappedAnts - 08/04/2016 01:45 - United States - Seabrook

Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 106

You deserved it 1 355

By Anonymous - 09/12/2013 05:57 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 551

You deserved it 3 377

Not now

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 04:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 237

You deserved it 2 631

Take the L

By Chrissy - 20/12/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 74

By JPF - 13/08/2009 03:13 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 570

You deserved it 5 616

By Noname - 08/03/2009 13:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 363

You deserved it 3 019

Quality family time

By Kjer - 24/03/2013 00:38 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out, "Well fuck you too." Very awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 180

You deserved it 41 756

Next

Top comments

tegraturbo2000 15

Monday 29 July 2013 19:02

keep your door locked op

Welshite 39

Monday 29 July 2013 19:02

Boundaries exist for a reason. You need to set both him and your mom straight.

Comments

iamthunder 4

Wednesday 31 July 2013 19:37

Does this have to do with why your dad shot your fiance?

SaySayGurl 10

Thursday 1 August 2013 0:30

This reminds me of clueless.

mr_jack_meoff 5

Thursday 1 August 2013 9:23

You aren't related, he's a step , not a half, go for it. Mom will be proud of her lil ****.

Brak_Spaceman 19

Thursday 1 August 2013 17:54

D'OH!

insanez58 11

Thursday 1 August 2013 18:39

"Oh that's naaassty" -Clevland Brown

lifesuxrealbad 10

Friday 2 August 2013 23:54

Buy a sentry gun

UNLUCKYyY1037 26

Sunday 4 August 2013 5:11

Either Your moms crazy or you don't get many compliments

UNLUCKYyY1037 26

Sunday 4 August 2013 5:13

I think you might wanna stay away from him for awhile

UNLUCKYyY1037 26

Sunday 4 August 2013 5:14

I think your mom might wanna rethink who she's bringing into your life

UNLUCKYyY1037 26

Sunday 4 August 2013 6:02

Depressing!!!

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Today, I was taking a piss when a old lady somehow managed to wander in. She blushed, chuckled and apologized, "Sorry, little fella!" before leaving. I don't know what size she was commenting on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 261

You deserved it 849

Today, to amuse my girlfriend, I put on her sexy nightshirt and went out on the balcony for a smoke, all while shaking my booty about in front of her window. She laughed, until one of her neighbors shouted, "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 968

You deserved it 10 634

Today, a tattoo artist send me home without tattoo because the acne on my back has gotten so bad, he refused to work on such an 'unpredictable surface'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 640

You deserved it 1 255

Today, I finished my 83-page thesis for my Stanford class and put it on my desk. Then, as a prank, my girlfriend hid it. She forgot where she put it. The thesis is due in 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 747

You deserved it 668

Today, I looked in my voicemails on my phone. I recently got a message saying that I got the job, which was very exciting because it's my first job. Too bad it was sent 2 weeks ago and I just got it because I upgraded my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 662

You deserved it 2 131

Today, my 6-year-old daughter and I were leaving a swimming pool when we passed the front desk, where there was a Canadian flag. She said, "Look daddy! A maple leaf! Just like on your ass!” I forgot that she knew about my tattoo and the flag. We ran out as people burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 196

You deserved it 755