Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML
Today, I had the pleasure of listening to my mom tell me about how her and my dad's weight loss has helped them get more into it when they're being intimate. Suddenly I wish my parents were fat again. FML
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML
Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
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Top comments
whiffleball 0
how do you know he got a hard on? are you checking out your dad's junk?
whitesoxsean 0
ur dads a pedo
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Comments (140)
morena0603 0
you should have told your friend to ask him how his sex life is going lol
dannnngthatsux 19
and he'd answer "wanna find out!" Never give a dirty old man a line like that.
3DLoli 0
Hmm. :/ I would ask to move out.
Ft9princess 0
eww :(
crusaders41005 0
it's not his fault she's that hot. I don't blame him.
jonny2x4 0
He was probably going to recommend his version of the Slimfast diet to your friend. One shake for breakfast, one for lunch, then a sensible dinner. The catch is that he provides the shakes, if you know what I mean.
Emofluffinzhehe 0
ohmahgawd its PLAAAAANK
alexandriajane 2
hahahah
neonskittzy 0
he just didn't wana make eye contact.. that's disturbing
cerulean_rules 2
What a cute baby! I agree with the eye contact part, one time I zoned out and ended up staring at my friend's junk. He never let me forget it. v.v
perdix 29
You don't know the rules when a hot girl is with her fat, ugly friend. Hot girls don't like it when guys ignore the fattie. When the guy chats up the fat cow, the hottie gets turned on and displays her bounteous breasts to the guy as a reward. You set your dad up, so deal with his wood!
xxmarlboroxx 0
huh... perdix. lol. anyway op, FYL but get over it. it's not like he is the first dad in the fricking world to look at young boobs.
perdix 29
Let me explain, xxmarlboroxx. If a pretty girl is with her ugly, fat friend and a guy comes up to them and blows off the fatty, the pretty girl gets uncomfortable and knows the only thing the guy is interested in. If he comes up to them and talks to the ugly girl, she thinks he's a good guy (dumb ass) and of course, she knows she can have him when she's ready to turn on the charm. While he wastes time with the fatty, the pretty girl rewards him with some boob thrusts. This is how successful guys score. I'm just saying the OP is the fat, ugly friend.
yayforcheesecake 0
is your friend a man haha
mrgiraffe 0
You have hot friends or your dads a nasty fuc*