Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML
Today, I had the pleasure of listening to my mom tell me about how her and my dad's weight loss has helped them get more into it when they're being intimate. Suddenly I wish my parents were fat again. FML
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML
Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
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Top comments
whiffleball 0
how do you know he got a hard on? are you checking out your dad's junk?
whitesoxsean 0
ur dads a pedo
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Comments (140)
Emofluffinzhehe 0
nice hair =v^,^v=
GiggityGiggityGo_fml 8
love #119 completly agree. also HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
justanotherhuman 21
Dear OP, Disregard the folks who wonder how/why you knew that your father was aroused- clearly amateurs. I can sniff out if someone is attracted to another person within 50 feet of our location. This -very much- sucks being around my parents, who are -very much- in love... but I digress. Mommy being whorish and daddy being sleazy, are both equal on the 'holy-sh!t-that's-creepy-meter'. Need to confront your father on how to behave within a parameter *you* define as appropriate around *your* guests.
monalisa777 0
Eww what a perve.mabe you should make you friend wear more clothes then he won't be able to stare at her chest.
marquisdesade_fml 0
lol get ugly friends
Snezzle 0
American Beauty... EAT YOUR HEART OUT!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHA!
Misguided_Ghost 0
you have a creeper for a dad; no offense. =]
avirus 0
im sorry for you :(
chellefish22 0
wow.
chocchipcookies 0
err... this is kind of sick...