Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML
Today, I had the pleasure of listening to my mom tell me about how her and my dad's weight loss has helped them get more into it when they're being intimate. Suddenly I wish my parents were fat again. FML
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML
Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
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Top comments
whiffleball 0
how do you know he got a hard on? are you checking out your dad's junk?
whitesoxsean 0
ur dads a pedo
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Comments (140)
KurouTenshi 0
your dad needs to get laid more LOL
NoFatAssOnaStick 0
WIN!
infiniti_G 0
YDI for having friends with nice ****. Stop bitching on FML and go run that fat ass off.
perdix 29
Kurou, Looks like Dad is working on that problem right before his daughter's eyes. I wonder if she'll be able to call her best friend "Mommy."
Ajjas013 6
If by "mommy" you mean "that cunty bitch I thought was my best friend before she got laid with my dad and took the place of my real mommy" then sure she will!
KurouTenshi 0
hahaha #64 (Perdix) "its so sad your mom couldnt make it to your graduation..." "This is my mom...also in my graduating class..." Roflcopter :D
ISLIM_SHADYI 0
i don't believe she has big tatas
perdix 29
ISLIM_SHADYI: Yeah, the poor bastard has to look at some gorgeous ordinary-sized ****. How's that fair?
BoostaRoosta 0
^this guy = win
mattf013 0
maybe you should just have uglier friends with either flat or saggy boobs
perdix 29
Or fatter friends and you wouldn't have to **** around with diets!
thedizzyone 0
penis
Lolcopterplz 0
no pic no proof
Beatles1500 0
lol
canesul 0
your dad is realy creepy
spktr 1
American beauty much?
madgrinchhatter 12
Lol!
avierip 0
why is no one asking her why she was looking at her dad? :0 uh ew??
eminemop 0
You're profile picture makes you're comment funny :P
whitesoxsean 0
ur dads a pedo
KurouTenshi 0
yeah that too xD ahahaha
YeahFMLxX 0
a pedo? my friends are hot. my dad better just not touch them :D !
hcube 0
hmm.. guess this post isn't so anonymous anymore. lol
ajthere4u 0
ewwww be ashamed to call him your dad
Parabolar 1
You're an idiot.
whiffleball 0
how do you know he got a hard on? are you checking out your dad's junk?
AngryNinja 1
omfg. brilliant. and so true.. why were you checking out the old man's package?
Ajjas013 6
She probably felt something poking her leg :)
wildcat798 1
Phlegm? really? hahaha
AngryNinja 1
i'm wondering if op wanted her daddy to be looking at HER boobs whilst asking about the diet.. i mean, why mention that part at all unless an underlying wish is present.. hm.
babybubz 0
lmao! 'my Dad gets erections from looking at my friends bodies.. but not mine FML'
AngryNinja 1
exactlyy. op.. ew. at least go for your friends' daddies! incesttt!
deathcab7 0
oh myy. well theres two things you can do here: 1. dont bring your hot friends to your house or 2. get uglier friends. (:
mmastermetallica 0
WTF wrong with your guys dads. can't they control their ducks? oh ya no they can't that's why you exist.
iknowthatguy 0
3) gouge out her dads eyes
allen20 0
Of course ur dad isnt gonna get an erection by looking at her own daughters body! wtf is wrong with you :O
AngryNinja 1
psh. who says he wouldn't? that's why there are all those daddy-rapes-daughter stories.
michael32123 0
@#66... I can't contoll my duck either
maxrmaxr 5
hate this bitch
thedizzyone 0
penis
katelove18 0
99 you should meet me....in bed
chiddy_bang71 0
66 and 99, yeah when a hot girl walks by it starts quacking like crazy
6991 0
what a creepy old man.
avierip 0
what a creepy daughter. :p who checks out her dads junk???
ibrett93 0
I agree with wiffleball.
cherriblizz 0
I would be frightened to be around him anymore if he was my father.
FMLoverAgain 7
send him to me. he won't be walking when i'm done with him
xlostwithoutu 0
WTF...
AngryNinja 1
awesome pic :P
cheekie1018 0
yah that's pretty bad lmao. FYL!
AbOvE_88 0
#12 ur bewb is about to pop :)
dorkside_fml 0
yeah she probably did it on purpose.
MaRs3 0
I feel like the OP's father when I look at cheekies avatar.
MaRs3 0
might I add, " yew a dirty gurl. "
katelove18 0
me too and Ima girl
cerulean_rules 2
^LMAO! Seriously, maybe OP's bff was wearing a shirt like cheeky's XD.
dorito_420 0
YDI for having a hot friend