Today, one of my students stole my wallet. I teach kindergarten. FML

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need." After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

Today, a girl stole my heart. She also stole my wallet, phone, and keys. FML

Rules is rules

Today, our teacher forgot to collect our phones when we arrived at school. We almost managed to take our phones back to the dormitory but someone's phone rang TWICE in the corridor and she remembered the whole thing. FML

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

Today, I started my first teaching job ever. As I was teaching, another teacher interrupted my class about 5 times because she thought it was her class. Not only did she ruin my confidence, her behavior caused my students to laugh at me. FML

Grifter

Today, my phone went missing. My 8-year-old son took it to school and sold it for $10. FML

Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML