Money, Miscellaneous, Weird and Education: Nice dodge

Nice dodge

By UTRejected - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 972

You deserved it 3 979

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Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Beggars can be choosers

By Rebecca Palermo - 14/12/2020 11:03

Today, I saw a girl asking for money on the median of an entrance to a parking lot with her dog. Later, I bought a box of dog treats for her. I drove up and handed it to her. She rolled her eyes and said, "How the hell am I supposed to carry that?" I sat there in stunned disbelief with the box she refused to take. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 235

Keep the change

By hatemylife - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a group of Girl Scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought two bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 421

You deserved it 7 069

By anonymous - 30/06/2010 04:05 - United States

Today, my aunt and I wanted to do something nice. So we made cookies for a local nursing home. After tasting them, nobody ate any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 881

You deserved it 6 031

Helper Blues

By Fat and Embarrassed - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Palmdale

Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 225

You deserved it 1 505

Doughboy

By phatkroger10 - 10/04/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fundraiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in four weeks, she said, "Oh I can't wait!" Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 112

You deserved it 66 812

Kids say the darndest things

By Chrissy - 14/09/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 164

By soccerlove09 - 11/10/2010 18:18 - United States

Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 002

You deserved it 6 386

By bingalingading - 30/03/2015 20:46 - United States - Owosso

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 534

You deserved it 2 184

By Fatlady43 - 19/01/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 298

You deserved it 6 527

Broke boy

By Anonymous - 19/10/2025 00:00

Today, the cashier asked if I wanted to donate $1 to help hungry children. I said, “Not today, thank you.” The man behind me loudly said, “Wow…” Now everyone thinks I hate children. I'm just that broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 75

thee_most_dope 30

Friday 21 November 2014 17:45

maybe she meant junk food? or....i really dont know.

201chasew 22

Friday 21 November 2014 17:46

I'm not sure if it was an awkward rejection to your cookies, or that she may be anorexic which is a much more serious problem.

Comments

SirJKCaptain 12

Friday 21 November 2014 21:54

You should have responded with, " and I don't breathe Air"

grimpeeper 13

Friday 21 November 2014 22:07

It might be a hunger strike. Probably.

Tinad01 12

Friday 21 November 2014 22:09

Why is this on FML?

DogeMan 14

Friday 21 November 2014 22:26

She must absorb her food then

cjwayy 22

Friday 21 November 2014 23:13

Awkward food rejection. She just didn't know what to say probably lol

ztress 10

Friday 21 November 2014 23:20

Why is this a FML?

demonfacee 14

Friday 21 November 2014 23:45

Wow, who wouldn't turn down an offer for cookies?

Ilikepie82479 20

Saturday 22 November 2014 0:14

This is great

Nalulani2100 7

Saturday 22 November 2014 0:16

Well i just don't like to eat food, and my friends make fun of me for it. But I wouldn't see why she would turn down a cookie

78apollo78 3

Saturday 22 November 2014 4:14

That's not even bad

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I agree, your life sucks 61 231

You deserved it 8 813

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I agree, your life sucks 16 560

You deserved it 1 374

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I agree, your life sucks 28 062

You deserved it 3 064

Today, I was at work, reading some funny stories on my phone. Just as one of my co-workers decided to share that his father had passed away recently, I burst into uncontrollable, teary-eyed laughter at a story. They don't believe my explanation, and have branded me the office asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 937

You deserved it 9 175

Today, just a day prior to my vacation starting, I learned that my five-day "seasonal fever" is actually due to a blood infection from a bacteria. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 121

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 858

You deserved it 17 765