Money, Miscellaneous, Weird and Education: Nice dodge

Nice dodge

By UTRejected - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 972

You deserved it 3 979

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Same thing different taste

Beggars can be choosers

By Rebecca Palermo - 14/12/2020 11:03

Today, I saw a girl asking for money on the median of an entrance to a parking lot with her dog. Later, I bought a box of dog treats for her. I drove up and handed it to her. She rolled her eyes and said, "How the hell am I supposed to carry that?" I sat there in stunned disbelief with the box she refused to take. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 235

Keep the change

By hatemylife - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a group of Girl Scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought two bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 421

You deserved it 7 069

By anonymous - 30/06/2010 04:05 - United States

Today, my aunt and I wanted to do something nice. So we made cookies for a local nursing home. After tasting them, nobody ate any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 881

You deserved it 6 031

Helper Blues

By Fat and Embarrassed - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Palmdale

Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 225

You deserved it 1 505

Doughboy

By phatkroger10 - 10/04/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fundraiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in four weeks, she said, "Oh I can't wait!" Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 112

You deserved it 66 812

Kids say the darndest things

By Chrissy - 14/09/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 164

By soccerlove09 - 11/10/2010 18:18 - United States

Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 002

You deserved it 6 386

By bingalingading - 30/03/2015 20:46 - United States - Owosso

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 534

You deserved it 2 184

By Fatlady43 - 19/01/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 298

You deserved it 6 527

Broke boy

By Anonymous - 19/10/2025 00:00

Today, the cashier asked if I wanted to donate $1 to help hungry children. I said, “Not today, thank you.” The man behind me loudly said, “Wow…” Now everyone thinks I hate children. I'm just that broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 75

thee_most_dope 30

Friday 21 November 2014 17:45

maybe she meant junk food? or....i really dont know.

201chasew 22

Friday 21 November 2014 17:46

I'm not sure if it was an awkward rejection to your cookies, or that she may be anorexic which is a much more serious problem.

Comments

quickit 24

Friday 21 November 2014 17:59

She may not have meant it in a bad way. Just thank her for her time.

valkyire 8

Friday 21 November 2014 18:03

So she didn't want your cookies. Big deal. Solicit the next person

dawgsrb33 4

Friday 21 November 2014 18:13

first.

battlehamster 8

Friday 21 November 2014 18:20

F her life! She doesn't eat food!

isabellasimone 18

Friday 21 November 2014 18:21

It's just a crappy excuse to not buy cookies!

jvfelicio 13

Saturday 22 November 2014 5:34

Well, could've fooled me.

lol23220 10

Friday 21 November 2014 18:24

Mabe she's crazy cuz everyone loves cookie

cryssycakesx3 22

Friday 21 November 2014 23:51

not everyone can *buy* cookies though.

FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29

Friday 21 November 2014 19:18

Oh, so she's a vegan I see.

ShadowlessSpear 21

Friday 21 November 2014 20:57

I think vegans eat....

Ichiya 29

Friday 21 November 2014 21:14

Not much.

DeathBunny8 9

Friday 21 November 2014 19:22

Actually, I know a girl who doesn't eat food. She had a gastrointestinal tube and only uses formula.

DenverTyrrell 13

Friday 21 November 2014 19:23

She's trying the juicing diet?

amdraxx 1

Friday 21 November 2014 19:25

Well that's a lie!

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The Top

Today, I dressed up as my friend for Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought my costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 552

You deserved it 16 575

Today, after smoking, I sat down to watch Supernatural with my young cousin. I accidentally let out a burp during a demonic possession scene and, to our surprise, smoke came out of my mouth. Now there's a crying 11-year-old hiding somewhere in the house with salt. Mom will be home in 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 699

You deserved it 2 725

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 181

You deserved it 6 348

Today, I told my boyfriend we should avoid the local walking trail after I got followed by a homeless man. He assured me we’d be fine and the guy wouldn’t approach me as long as I had a man with me. Wrong. We both got beat up and robbed by said homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 210

You deserved it 359

Today, I filled out a 'perfect job placement' test, where you put down your skills, experience and education level and then it finds you jobs based on your abilities and areas of knowledge. No lie, the most compatible job they found for me was 'Dishwasher'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 514

You deserved it 6 150

Today, my fiancée's ex sent me screenshots of their conversation. In it, he told her how badly he’d wanted to marry her, what a great life he'd have given her, and what a huge mistake she'd made by letting him get away. My ring, our house even our pets should’ve been hers. Gee, thanks for settling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 287

You deserved it 168