Nearly FMLs

By Takegami - 27/02/2019 05:39

Today, marked the 7th week in a row of disrupted sleep. My fuckstick roommate has awful habits and one of them is staying up until 2AM every damn day with the lights on. There nothing I can do about it. My RA can’t do anything about it and he refuses to acknowledge I exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 1

By KaD - 27/02/2019 03:13

Today, it's been a week since I went to the doctor with a spot of eczema. It's spread to most of my body now, and all I got was five tubes of stuff to put on it. I look like someone threw napalm on me, and it doesn't fee much better either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 0

By unknown - 26/02/2019 20:33

Today, I went to donate blood. After donation I was talking with a worker and told them about my vacation a couple weeks ago. Apparently Mazatlán has a malaria risk and they have to throw away my blood and I’ve been throwing up all day after donating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 5

By weirdfridgelady - 26/02/2019 12:03

Today, after 6 months of waiting for my special 100$ order school jacket, I attempted to put it on and watched as the seams came apart. It’s okay, I’ll get it back in 4 months. Half way through the school year, when winter is almost over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 1

By insaneinthemembrane - 26/02/2019 09:11

Today I was admitted to the ER for appendicitus. My roommate called my boss to let him know I would miss my shifts. She was unaware I already claimed my appendix was removed last year when I was briefly admitted to a psych ward. Guess who's fired? FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 15

By Logic101 - 26/02/2019 05:31

Today, despite the fact I somehow passed my midterms, my mark currently sits at a 40%. Apparently, a pop quiz is more valuable than a midterm. Oh, how did I miss the pop quiz in question? Sleeping in even though I went to bed at 10:30 pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 25/02/2019 20:49 - United States - Miami

Today, I found out that my girlfriend doesn't find me to be attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 0

By "jjuuuuuuulless" - 26/02/2019 01:44

Today, I told my new boyfriend that I dont want kids. He does. My last boyfriend broke up with me because of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 4

By Rach - 25/02/2019 16:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today was the first time my fiancé hasn’t cuddled with me. We have been together for two years. His parents highly support cheating for some reason. He has been saying a girls name in his sleep-Adrian. But he said that he went to bar with his bro, “Adrian”. I searched on fb. It’s a past girl he knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 109

By Db0224 - 25/02/2019 17:53

Today, I was telling my mom that I was excited to go see the real Rosetta Stone at the British museum, and she responded, “Like the app?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 0

By Hash - 25/02/2019 16:57

Today my fiancé’s family sent flowers for my parents wedding anniversary. I mistook them to be for me and thanked them for making my day..FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 25/02/2019 16:03

Today, my boyfriend would rather smoke weed than have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 3

By lonesome - 25/02/2019 03:24

Today, all my friends went out as a group. I was the only one not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 0

By He can still smell it - 25/02/2019 03:01

Today, I'm cleaning the kitchen floor after my friend discovered that it is possible to puke from your mouth and nose simultaneously while completely sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 1

By Mar - 24/02/2019 20:11 - Indonesia

Today, After a week of skipping class, I decided to turn a new leaf and come back to class. The literal first thing we did was a pop-quiz. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 18

By "Andrew Johnson_323643184" - 25/02/2019 02:00

Today marks the 3 month anniversary of when my girlfriend of a year told me she needed a break. I had to move out of our apartment and still pay for it.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 2

By "risingtide" - 25/02/2019 01:25

Today, I sent a friend request to this single HOT guy. To my surprise, he accepted my request. We started chatting. I found out he's straight and he has a gf. My gaydar sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 24/02/2019 22:48

Today, my 16 month old son managed to contact the fire brigade through our house alarm. A fire engine turned up. They then had to come in and inspect the house 'just incase' despite me telling them there was no fire. They reported it as an 'unsupervised child incident' over the radio. Mum win

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 24/02/2019 20:00

Today, I found out from a coworker that the guy (another coworker) I've been going to for strictly sex is in a relationship with another girl and didn't tell me. Even when I have no expectations, I get screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 579

By Guy - 24/02/2019 13:46

Today, after ten years I finally realized I should not have married a women who can't keep friends, avoids her family and is fine to live like a hoarder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 23/02/2019 22:24 - United States - Hazel

Today, I'm a 24 year old female who has never had an orgasm. Since I have been sexually active since age 13, I have successfully been edging for 11 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 5

By shadowgirl - 24/02/2019 04:23

Today, I broke the side mirror off my car which will cost $1000 to fix and then was told I have to move out of my current place which will probably make my rent quadruple. It’s been an expensive week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 23/02/2019 21:00 - United States - Newcastle

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to elope, but didn’t know if it “would be worse to tell my parents we got married or keep letting them think we’re living in sin.” Basically it would be worse that we got married so soon rather then just living together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 202

By Ihateschool - 22/02/2019 16:00

Today I tried to drop a philosophy class because I have a credit I can transfer. The registrar told me no because since the new year makes it out of date, even though they were closed for the holidays so I couldn't do it sooner. Guess I'll learn what reality is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 258

By Anonymous - 22/02/2019 08:36

Today, I realized that I have anxiety about having anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 0

By anon - 22/02/2019 02:07

Today, because of a very messy divorce I had no choice but to move in and have my mom watch my kids while I work and finish school. She has turned them into the most insufferable spoiled obnoxious brats I’ve ever met. Whenever I try to discipline them she tells them to ignore me. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 1

By Queenie - 21/02/2019 17:59

Today, after 7 years of being with the comany and having 1 hour of paid breaks/ lunch each day, we will now have one 20 min unpaid lunch break. I live in Canada where they legally have to give you 30 min for lunch after 5 hours, NOT 20 min! FML

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 0

By Skidzythesloth - 21/02/2019 17:57

Today, I left the house in a rush, no shower, no deodorant, no teeth brushing, mud on my pants, in the rain. I go to school for 8 hours with hundreds of high schoolers that are dressed and showered well. I stink so bad and I still have 4 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 2

By Snowblown - 21/02/2019 17:57

Today, I had to drive to work in the snow. It took me almost an hour, despite living only a few miles from work. Why? Because I live I Las Vegas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 0

By epicgamer1 - 21/02/2019 17:07

Today I was watching porn while my mom was at work. I look outside and see her car in the driveway. I rush up the stairs, trying to get to the bathroom before she got in. I trip on the stairs and land on my dick. The worst part: my mom recently got a new job, and she doesn't drive there anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 3

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The Top

Today, I finally got pulled into a threesome with the girl I've loved for years and another friend. She led the interaction with, "You only get to touch her" then, "I just wish [her ex] was here" and finished with, "OK, it's weird with you here, you can just go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 290

You deserved it 276

Today, my husband told me yet again that the last two years have been the worst of his life. Our two year anniversary is next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 663

You deserved it 4 783

Today, I live in a studio and I can hear really weird noises coming from my neighbours, my walls, my floor, and even inside, without knowing what did fall/scratch/move. I seriously wonder if someone lives hidden in the walls. I don't know if I should call the cops, a psychiatrist, or an exorcist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 111

Today, even though I diet and go to the gym, due to my hypothyroidism I'm now so overweight that when I went to hospital for an unrelated check up, the gorgeous nurse actually had to press and move around my fat-filled groin to make my penis pop out of its hiding place under the skin. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 301

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 711

You deserved it 5 901

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 434

You deserved it 5 412