Intimacy: Nooooooo!

Nooooooo!

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 300

You deserved it 15 013

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Same thing different taste

Like a virgin

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 17:01

Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 794

You deserved it 509

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 265

You deserved it 12 879

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 301

Dude, were you just in a McDonald's?

By Anonymous - 25/12/2022 15:00

Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 844

Busted

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 120

You deserved it 272

So frustrated!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 171

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 829

You deserved it 4 434

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 206

You deserved it 4 539

Medieval ******

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 382

FBIWarning 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:03

jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?

Nev09 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:02

next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!

Comments

bullgetsmatador 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:24

...that sucks :(

snowboarder72992 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:24

ooooooo

dancing_bear 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:28

People who've never had this happen to them just don't understand how awful it is D: I feel your pain, OP. 126, in real life you're probably a virgin.

maverick21703 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:33

I suddenly understand why you have never orgasmed with a man. If you have the endurance to wear out the batteries on a vibrator, I doubt even superman could match that.

pepperburn 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:35

153 makes a good point, if the batteriest were full and you wore it out, then yea maybe 1 in 1,000,000 men have the ability to keep up with your endurance lol

star_ver 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 9:14

You're an idiot. Most electronics come with shit batteries that die pretty easily. Doesn't take a genius to figure that one out.

unbuckle 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:48

HaHaHa oh thats funny....buy another vibrator

yummehMOO 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:51

disgusting ****; instead of posting how much your life sucks because you fail at sex, go get a ******* bf and get better at it. Dipshit...

nomo_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 1:58

Probably fake; batteries in vibrators don't just "die". They just slowly get lower and lower in power, and the vibrator just starts vibrating less and less powerfully and less until the battery is completely drained. But yeah, normal batteries in a vibrator will last 2-3 hours or so pretty easily. OP has probably never used a vibrator before IRL. If it takes you that long to climax on a vibrator, something is wrong with you and you'll want to get that looked at. Anyway, FAKE.

easylazy 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 2:05

HOW DO YOU KNOW IT IS BETTER THAN SEX IF YOU'VE NEVER ORGASMED BEFORE WITH A GUY???!!!!

happylittleman 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 2:18

She knows because even though she wasn't able to finish, she was able to get farther with the vibrator than with any guy she's been with. Also, you're a douche.