Intimacy: Nooooooo!

Nooooooo!

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 300

You deserved it 15 013

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Like a virgin

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 17:01

Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 794

You deserved it 509

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 265

You deserved it 12 879

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 301

Dude, were you just in a McDonald's?

By Anonymous - 25/12/2022 15:00

Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 844

Busted

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 120

You deserved it 272

So frustrated!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 171

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 829

You deserved it 4 434

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 206

You deserved it 4 539

Medieval ******

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 382

FBIWarning 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:03

jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?

Nev09 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:02

next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!

Comments

cpatrick820 3

Monday 15 June 2009 23:31

good god, if the battery dies before you cum, you need to be doing something different

cpatrick820 3

Monday 15 June 2009 23:31

good god, if the battery dies before you cum, you need to be doing something different

i_laff_at_u 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:37

#21 she meant there was no hope for her to get an ******, it doesnt need to qualify as a person

justme21 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:40

lol #35 if your friend got you a new vibrator how did it run out of battery's unless you couldn't ****** for like 2-3 hours

munchonmyballies 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:46

damnn unlucky, shudda quickly called me over to finish u off ;)

DeadManLaughing 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:52

...FYL because your friend decided you needed a vibrator...

anonymous1116 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:53

OP: That sucks. You might try putting in fresh batteries before you start and crappy batteries are better than Duracells or something. And if that still doesn't work get one that plugs into a wall. To the people saying this isn't an FML: I'm sure some of you have bitched about not getting laid before for months, this is worse. The girl hasn't had an ****** with a guy before, maybe she's had them by herself but she never did with a guy. Not having orgasms during sex can make it kinda boring. To the assholes claiming she should get off with her fingers: She may do that on her own but wants something easier/faster when she is with a guy. And if she can't with just her fingers that's normal and really common. The first one if always the hardest. And to the guy that said he doesn't have the time for that: You're an asshole and I'm guessing that if you have gotten laid it's never been more than once with the same girl because she probably wouldn't have put up with your crap.