Intimacy: Nooooooo!

Nooooooo!

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 300

You deserved it 15 013

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

Like a virgin

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 17:01

Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 794

You deserved it 509

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 265

You deserved it 12 879

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 301

Dude, were you just in a McDonald's?

By Anonymous - 25/12/2022 15:00

Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 844

Busted

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 120

You deserved it 272

So frustrated!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 171

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 829

You deserved it 4 434

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 206

You deserved it 4 539

Medieval ******

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 382

FBIWarning 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:03

jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?

Nev09 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:02

next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!

Comments

SunnysideUp_ah1 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 4:39

ahahahahaha.. sorry i'm laughing but wow that suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks..

sbarre1 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 5:10

My battery lasts like.. 15 hours. O_o

glykoula09 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 5:12

#90-all women need clitoral stimulation to ******...there are no nerve endings around the ****** or any other part down there...just the ********. OP: when having sex, you need to know what part your man has to hit when he's going in you..which is the clit, some call it the G spot. also if your doing it by yourself...watch **** while ur doing it to send the blood rushing to your genitals and sexual stimulate them. also, by using a vibrator you may be doing yourself a disservice. those vibes are unnatural and could actually be increasing your endurance..so that when your naturally having sex a guys rhythm will still not do It for you. best of luck hope this helps.

screw_this_120 0

Friday 19 June 2009 20:59

Errr, G-Spot does not equal clit...

oloochi 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 5:16

going AMAZINGLY. ugh i hate poor grammar

imkendra 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 5:56

Get a vibrator that's not battery operated. The Hitachi Magic Wand plugs into the wall. Sweet Merciful crap does it do a good job. I got my first ****** from that thing well in to my 20s. I also thought I was hopeless until it came along. Even the most attentive boyfriend couldn't bring me to ******. Then the vibrator entered my life. Some women need such a high level of stimulation that a human being on their own can't provide. The female ****** is not necessary to procreate, so it's no wonder so many women never actually manage to ****** throughout their lives. And to those who suggest you can't know you're close to an ****** when you've never had one, you're dead wrong. You know. You know because you feel like something HUGE is about to happen and you can tell there's going to be a big release. To be denied that blows ass. As for the batteries, totally possible. Batteries die over time, and if the item's been on the shelf, they could be near death. Also he friend may have thrown some old batteries in there to save her friend some time. Not to mention, it can take forever to get that first ******. Once you "teach" your body how to ******, you start to be able to make it happen much faster.