Intimacy: It wasn't me

It wasn't me

By johnG - 21/12/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago, but just haven't divorced. She's been telling everyone I'm the baby's father. My current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 229

You deserved it 9 967

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Same thing different taste

By both are dimwitted - 23/12/2014 18:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 535

You deserved it 4 664

News to me

By RBEE - 12/12/2009 18:02 - France

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 804

You deserved it 4 189

My turn

By Crazy In-Laws - 20/11/2016 22:54 - United States - Danvers

Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 669

You deserved it 712

Double whammy

By Anonymous - 28/02/2023 16:00 - Argentina

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 94

By Anonymous - 19/06/2018 19:00

Today, I found out that, after a year of separation, my ex-wife is pregnant and due in a few months. The divorce became official a few weeks ago and the father is my former best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 483

You deserved it 335

By brando2k5 - 06/12/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 926

You deserved it 5 793

Double Impact

By Zoogangcapk - 01/01/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. The problem is that I don't know how to tell my wife... Who is also pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 10 264

By DevastatedWoman - 11/08/2015 15:30 - Belgium - Kalmthout

Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 599

You deserved it 2 042

Asshat

By Julissa - 25/02/2021 00:30

Today, I got a call from my husband, saying that he wants a divorce, he’s been seeing his colleague and that she’s more compatible to him. I’ve just given birth to out first child. He told me, "Aww, good luck with that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 125

By mystery - 17/06/2012 02:08 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 760

You deserved it 2 396

InstaKarma 0

Monday 21 December 2009 20:10

Really dude? Way to go on procrastinating the divorce. Procrastination is a lot like masturbation. It may feel good at the time, but in the end you will have just ****** yourself. YDI for procrastinating AND getting another woman pregnant while you're at it. Moron.

lilgazelleX 0

Monday 21 December 2009 20:18

you really thought it was a good idea to get another woman prefers while still legally married? seriously?!

Comments

DecembersShadow 2

Sunday 12 August 2012 11:03

YDI for not getting a divorce

Solano2580 24

Tuesday 21 April 2015 4:19

This was her plan all along, she knew you had a girlfriend, so she got pregnant and now she put you in a situation where if anyone finds out about your girlfriend, she gets the upper hand in the divorce, and if you divorce her anyways then she still gets the upper hand unless a DNA Test is taken

SassyLadyH 2

Wednesday 29 April 2015 5:42

if you're still technically married to her you shouldn't have a 7 month pregnant girlfriend anyways...

rainwolf42 5

Wednesday 3 February 2016 6:20

get a DNA test to clear your name. fyl op

Unlucky1232 20

Tuesday 3 May 2016 6:11

i won't question u getting a girlfriend while technically still married because i known it can cost and frankly i don't care. What u need to do is get a paternity test to prevent her from charging u with child neglect and/or child support.