Intimacy: It wasn't me

It wasn't me

By johnG - 21/12/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago, but just haven't divorced. She's been telling everyone I'm the baby's father. My current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 229

You deserved it 9 967

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Same thing different taste

By both are dimwitted - 23/12/2014 18:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 535

You deserved it 4 664

News to me

By RBEE - 12/12/2009 18:02 - France

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 804

You deserved it 4 189

My turn

By Crazy In-Laws - 20/11/2016 22:54 - United States - Danvers

Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 669

You deserved it 712

Double whammy

By Anonymous - 28/02/2023 16:00 - Argentina

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 94

By Anonymous - 19/06/2018 19:00

Today, I found out that, after a year of separation, my ex-wife is pregnant and due in a few months. The divorce became official a few weeks ago and the father is my former best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 483

You deserved it 335

By brando2k5 - 06/12/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 926

You deserved it 5 793

Double Impact

By Zoogangcapk - 01/01/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. The problem is that I don't know how to tell my wife... Who is also pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 10 264

By DevastatedWoman - 11/08/2015 15:30 - Belgium - Kalmthout

Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 599

You deserved it 2 042

Asshat

By Julissa - 25/02/2021 00:30

Today, I got a call from my husband, saying that he wants a divorce, he’s been seeing his colleague and that she’s more compatible to him. I’ve just given birth to out first child. He told me, "Aww, good luck with that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 125

By mystery - 17/06/2012 02:08 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 760

You deserved it 2 396

InstaKarma 0

Monday 21 December 2009 20:10

Really dude? Way to go on procrastinating the divorce. Procrastination is a lot like masturbation. It may feel good at the time, but in the end you will have just ****** yourself. YDI for procrastinating AND getting another woman pregnant while you're at it. Moron.

lilgazelleX 0

Monday 21 December 2009 20:18

you really thought it was a good idea to get another woman prefers while still legally married? seriously?!

Comments

Hoogyme 0

Monday 21 December 2009 20:08

Just divorce her

MacOSXpert 7

Tuesday 22 December 2009 1:31

YDI for not divorcing her. You *****.

wheatie 0

Saturday 12 June 2010 14:01

REPEAT!!

InstaKarma 0

Monday 21 December 2009 20:10

quiter 0

Thursday 23 September 2010 6:13

wear a rubber

sum1two 0

Friday 22 April 2011 0:37

I totally agree.

akg98 13

Friday 29 June 2012 2:21

Som ppls religion keeps them frm divorce...i think it counts as adultery

xNephilim 18

Saturday 25 August 2012 11:15

Some people can't afford a divorce. I don't know how divorces are anywhere in the world but in Germany and there they are expensive. My mom and dad split up a couple years ago but never divorced because it costs too much.

billionair11 20

Sunday 5 January 2014 1:37

Maybe OP is trying to divorce his (hopefully now ex) wife. Thus he is still legally married to her.

lilgazelleX 0

Monday 21 December 2009 20:18

you really thought it was a good idea to get another woman prefers while still legally married? seriously?!

doubleddun 9

Wednesday 31 October 2012 2:24

A lot of pregnancy happen by accident

dman4412 0

Monday 21 December 2009 20:37

wow you're sick. and so is your wife. way to **** up guy

MrCoolPants 7

Saturday 27 November 2010 4:44

u look like Justin bieber just kidding

amandapandajones 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 7:34

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

megstiel 16

Tuesday 6 August 2013 19:21

You're*

JERKKMONKEY 0

Monday 21 December 2009 20:53

FHL.

totaljudgment 0

Monday 21 December 2009 21:10

I sure hope John G doesn't live in Texas - state statute says you're married, kid's assumed to be yours. John G may be in for a child support surprise depending on where he lives.