World

Today I went to the pharmacist to buy condoms because I was going to see my girlfriend. When I went to pick her up, I got to receive a sermon from her father, the pharmacist. FML

By Brayan - / Monday 24 April 2017 12:36 / Colombia
World
By Excalibur - / Friday 21 April 2017 14:45 / France
World

Today, I woke up early for work, put on my uniform, took two buses, and when I got there my boss laughed and reminded me that I was fired yesterday. FML

By Penelope Cruz - / Friday 21 April 2017 14:42 / Brazil
World

Today, I smelled a terrible odor in my house. It seemed to be coming from everywhere. At first, I thought it might be rotten food or a dead animal, then I realized it was my own breath. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 21 April 2017 13:41 / Italy
World

  Today, I can confirm that at 85 and 87 years old, it is indeed possible to have a sex life. Grandpa, grandma, thank you for having dispelled my doubt. FML

By ... - / Thursday 20 April 2017 15:17 / France
World

Today, I broke my nose by falling on the cast I have on my arm. FML

By Anonyme - / Thursday 20 October 2016 02:50 / Belgium - Genk
World

Today, and every week, my boyfriend’s sister comes to his place to do his dishes. He’s 28. FML

By Anonyme - / Tuesday 4 October 2016 20:37 / Lebanon - Beirut
World

Today, I came back from the hospital after back surgery which required putting screws in my spine. My children spent all day trying to stick magnets on my back. FML

By Anonyme - / Sunday 18 September 2016 01:42 / France - Vendenheim
World
By legrand - / Wednesday 14 September 2016 08:11 / France - Grenoble
World

Today, my 16-year-old daughter heated some sugar cubes in the microwave, thinking it would make caster sugar. FML

By çafondpaslesucre? - / Wednesday 14 September 2016 02:28 / Belgium - Manage
World

Today, at daycare, a mother congratulated me for having such a kind and well-behaved little girl. The three daycare workers laughed out loud. One had to sit down. Another wiped away a tear. FML

By wrongshoes - / Saturday 3 September 2016 07:28 / Belgique - Grobbendonk
World

Today, my sixteen-year-old daughter put her soda in the microwave to “cool it down by making the ice cubes melt faster”. FML

By Bapt82 - / Sunday 7 August 2016 14:35 / Switzerland - Luzern
World

Today, I’m an au pair. The little boy that I take care of announced during a family dinner that I was “dad’s new sweetheart”. His mother didn’t seem to appreciate it. FML

By Anonyme - / Saturday 30 July 2016 07:24 / Spain - Orense
World
By Aldric - / Friday 10 June 2016 10:46 / Allemagne - Munich
World

Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and subsequent funeral. FML

By adieu Barbie - / Tuesday 3 May 2016 06:43 / Netherlands - Den Haag
World

Today, I’m in China for work, and for the second time someone told me that I look like Vladimir Putin. FML

By cyrilworms - / Tuesday 26 April 2016 03:15 / China - Guangzhou
World
By Anonyme - / Sunday 17 April 2016 06:10 / Luxembourg
World

Today, after hours of non-stop work on an important case, I cheeringly blurted out, "And now, time for a tampon change break!" FML

By Ketchup - / Wednesday 6 April 2016 07:06 / Finland - Turku
World
By Nelga - / Sunday 3 April 2016 04:37 / Islamic Republic of Iran - Gostar
World

Today, I tried a photo booth that automatically whitens skin. Being naturally very pale, the machine whitened me so much that my face merged with the white background. FML

By Anonyme - / Friday 25 March 2016 03:52 / Japon - Tokyo
World
By nenes_cargo - / Thursday 24 March 2016 03:20 / Czech Republic - Prague
World
By Touriste26 - / Monday 7 March 2016 03:50 / Republic of Panama
World

Today, my electricity supplier cut my power off. Literally. They cut the cable that supplies my apartment in electricity. FML

By Mac22 - / Friday 12 February 2016 05:02 / Senegal - Dakar
World
By Anonyme - / Thursday 3 December 2015 06:22 / Indonesia
World
By lord24 - / Saturday 21 November 2015 00:16 / Russian Federation
World

  Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis. FML

By franska - / Tuesday 3 November 2015 00:14 / Suède - Lund
World
By SexOnTheBeach - / Sunday 11 October 2015 03:34 / France - Livry-gargan
World

Today, under the Northern Lights of the Arctic Circle, I presented my girlfriend with an engagement ring and asked her if she would become my wife. She said, "I can’t, I have mittens." FML

By PasFiancé - / Friday 9 October 2015 08:15 / Iceland - Reykjav?k
World

Today, I was driving in a straight line on a completely deserted road in the open bush. I sneezed and ended up against a pole by the side of the road. It was the only pole I'd seen in 50 km. FML

By Jemsi - / Sunday 13 September 2015 08:44 / South Africa
World

Today, for the first day in our bakery, our intern brought croissants and rolls from our biggest competitor. FML

By croissant - / Monday 24 August 2015 03:42 / France
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1 Ashamed_Sister 18466
2 sixtus1973 14590
3 vaas90 11093
4 anyoldnamewilldo 10620
5 manlove38 10240
6 Rats, I dropped a teacup 10189
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8 The_Overthinker 9919
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