Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes proceeded to blame the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51323) - you totally deserved it (2639)
On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Gotta love customer service jobs, and the interesting/irritating/fucking weird people you encounter.
Haha I love hyper religious customers. When one found out I was pregnant she literally reached across the desk, grabbed my head, and said "GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR BABY!" really loud. I couldn't stop laughing after she left.
#4 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:15pm by perfectwinds
Y'know, I'm Christian, and I love Jesus, and all that...
But I just can't stand people like that...ugh
I can't STAND people like that! They need to have their mouths stapled or something. I'm carrying a stapler from now on.
#8 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:19pm by Fa7
Oh, wow.
I'm so, so sorry.
I would have lost it on her after about a minute.
#9 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:20pm by Clandestine_x
Where the hell do you work?! You should have played along to see what else would come out of her mouth.
I think the 3rd crusades were started because a Cardinal ripped one in front of the Pope.
#13 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:22pm by RiverRelic
I doubt it's fake..
Encountering people like this isn't actually that uncommon, especially if it was an older lady.
#17 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:24pm by Clandestine_x
wow, i never thought anyone took sneezing that seriously
#19 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:24pm by Newtons_Cradle
lol all i no is dat wenever dat happens to me i just daydream lol gotta love ADHD sometimes lol
#20 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:25pm by Toxic_John
seriously, i sneeze, like, once a day, get over it crazy lady
#21 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:27pm by c_R_07
#12 I dont think you cant honestly make something like that up
In my opinion you should have been like "But I love abortion its just soo tasty!" and than see her reaction
#22 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:27pm by ZiggyMorrison
What a nutjob. I'm an Obama fan and I realize people are bound to disagree with some of his policies and views, but some of these people are just shocking.
People who cry "fake!" all the time must be shut-ins or something. The world is overrun with crazy people.
#15, what do you say when someone sneezes? GOD BLESS YOU
which apparently she used to launch into her little jesus spiel
I hope to Gawd she had at least a few freudian slips in thar
Ok, I'm a religious man, but she is just insane...
...also, why are a bunch of Christians so against Obama? I mean, I'm a pretty devout Christian, but if we were to call anyone the anti-Christ, I would've thought for sure it would be Dubya.
Dear #16,
We made tazers and/or guns for a reason.
LOVE,
(insert name)
#28 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:31pm by JohnFR33M4N
okay... how did sneezing cause this outburst? and I understand that you say bless you... but seriously? this customer needs to realize when it's the right time to talk about things like this....
Lol I agree with 27. This isn't much of an FML, but its definitely pretty funny.
#32 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:39pm by raginazn_67
They don't need to give you a bad rep, most wars, the Salem Witch Trials, and the 9/11 terrorist attacks were caused by differences in religion, or crazy religious zealots being assholes. Without religion this world would be a better place!!
#34 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:42pm by ateasenfitz
Damn religion. I completely agree with #34, almost every war, terrorism, and 'evil' act is due to religion and conflicting religions.
#35 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:47pm by strangersdk
Your own fault for *letting* them go on that long. With me, it would have lasted 10 seconds -- just long enough for me to tell them that I had no interest in their religious convictions, and that this is not the time, nor the place to be discussing them.
#36 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:48pm by ozymandias
I agree with #5.
People like this bother me.
And technically, I'm not religious. So when people say this stuff to me, I get irritated. xD;
#37 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:49pm by SiLveRStaRLIGHT
#20, please use some form of grammar and proper spelling the next time you post.
This has to be real. I don't think a logical person could come up with something this weird.
#33 please don't generalise, you might believe that abortion is murder and that darwinism goes against christian morals, but many christians (I believe most christians actually), including myself don't think that way.
#41 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:50pm by pennytheloony
How is this an FML? Sure it's funny, but all you had to do was listen to some crazy person ramble for a while. Where I come from, that's awesome. Nothing like a crazy person to brighten up the day and give you a good story to take home. Unless you were working at an abortion clinic.
#30: If you're calling fake, then I can tell you its not because its my FML
I was working overnight so the ten minute rant began as she left and I sneezed before saying "have a nice day" prompting her to say "Allergies, eh?"
The topic just kept getting more and more uncomfortable and annoying as she mentioned the world's allergy seasons were creeping up and happening earlier, and then jesus jumped in because I should have caught some allusion to "the changing weather patterns" meaning "revelation is upon us".
After a long pause of me staring and wondering when she would just go away she said "it's all those abortions....all that innocent blood and muscle and sinew, the earth just can't take it".... followed by "you know Obama is the reason for all of this...I feel so bad for those who voted for him"
just fyi to the doubters lol
#45 - On 04/08/2009 at 2:53pm by retailslave
#33, I'm not going to touch abortion, but I feel compelled to argue against your comments on the theory of evolution. The theory of evolution is a widely accepted, scientific theory with a broad base of evidence. Creationism is a fairy tale that some bronze age tribe pulled out of their ass thousands of years ago and then wrote down to make the worlds best selling work of fiction. Now, please tell me, how does the latter deserve even a fraction of the serious consideration and teaching as the former?
I would have bitched her out! People needs to keep their damn beliefs to themselves, because no one else gives a shit!
I'm catholic and all that, but some people are just too crazy and think that every weird thing that goes on is either a sign of the apocolypse or Jesus' second coming. It's people like this who give Christians a bad name.
Go liberal catholics! (There's like, 10 of us)
#49 - On 04/08/2009 at 3:03pm by Compwiz1993
Oh gosh people like that make me go crazy, you should've coughed in her face and ask "what does that mean??!!"
#50 - On 04/08/2009 at 3:06pm by ilaughatfmls
Wow... I'm very religious but I don't act that crazy. Ugh. >.
#51 - On 04/08/2009 at 3:07pm by CherishFlowers
ahaha stupid jesus freaks.
to all of you religious people who don't shove your religion down other people's throats, i thank you.
#33... The Scopes Trial is over. Go die in a cave, where you belong.
This reminds me of the Lewis Black line: "Fossils are the handiwork of the Devil". Does anyone remember that? lol
everyone knows that global warming and all these shifts in global weather patterns are due to the disappearance of pirates from the world.
omg you TOTALLY deserved that. You should never sneeze. It's all your fault!
Just kidding! I voted " I agree, your life is f***ed"
bless you! *hands you a tissue*
#55 - On 04/08/2009 at 3:15pm by were_giraffe
Number 33, I just feel the need to correct a couple of misconceptions that you seem to have.
1. - Tax dollars are not used to either encourage or pay for abortions. Ever. Period.
2. - The theory of evolution is not by any means a "liberal agenda." It is a scientific theory that has been taught in schools since my grandfather was in grammar school. Oh - and most "liberals" have no problem with religious students being excused from science classes that cover that particular theory.
Sorry, I know this is not a political board or anything, it just bothers me a lot when false information gets around.
#58 - On 04/08/2009 at 3:26pm by eternalaphrodite
#58, you're right about evolution. And up until a few weeks ago, you were right about taxpayer money and abortion. Obama recently reversed that, at least as it applies to money used internationally (the Mexico City policy).
But yeah, what a nutcase. I'm a Christian but I don't understand those who see signs of the apocalypse everywhere. Focus on leading a good life and stop wishing doom on people!
#60 - On 04/08/2009 at 3:32pm by MiriamSingsLoud
I love our president. Is the person you were talking to not American? (from the way you referred to it).
But yeah, that's weird. And I'm Catholic, but I'm a liberal and yet I'm pro-life, so..
#62 - On 04/08/2009 at 3:34pm by dol567
Oh damn.
And to be fair, Obama doesn't kiss babies. He eats them then vomits Wii's.... which Oprah puts under every chair to give away.
EVERYONE GETS A WII FOR THEIR BABIES!!!
I have no problem with religious people. I just have a problem with them when they're talking about religion and God and Jesus. I respect that they have their beliefs, but can't they just shut up about it and let me have MY beliefs? People that force their own beliefs on other people should tie themselves to a pole.
#64 - On 04/08/2009 at 3:44pm by scorpiogirl666
Dear OP/retailslave,
Check out notalwaysright dot com
(as in the customer is not always right)
It's glorious.
Love,
fellow retailer
#65 - On 04/08/2009 at 3:44pm by effingclassy
and people wonder why no one wants to be a Christian. it's because of people like this who are totally psycho. we're not all like that, though.
That sucks. People who shove things down my throat like that scare me o.0
#67 - On 04/08/2009 at 3:49pm by planecrashdreams
Man I hate bible thumpers. Religion is chill just don't try to shove that crap down my throat
#69 - On 04/08/2009 at 3:54pm by sizemattic
#33, nobody encourages abortions. obama just wants women whose health is at risk by her pregnancy, or a woman pregnant by rape, to have the option of abortion. there is NOBODY who says: GO OUT AND GET AN ABORTION NOW!!! YAY IT'S FUN
#70 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:00pm by xxPrettyJane
I'll be honest, I'm more of a deist though I attend a Catholic church. One of the things I have admired about the Catholics (unlike not letting women be priests or letting priests marry) is that they have always taught the Bible as an allegory and have supported evolution all along. #33, you're just as bad a representative of religious people as that crazy customer. Abortion is not automatically anti-religion. It made some sense in the past, but most churches support nonprocreative sex, so you have to be realisitic about birth control and other procedures. There are Bible passages like Exodus 21:22-25 and Ecclesiastes 4:3 that don't equate the fetus with human life and think it's better to have never existed. I would never vote Republican. They do nothing to help any of the less fortunate. The Christians who have sided with them have no understanding of politics. (Not that Democrats aren't without flaws.)
Luke 16:8 -- "And it is true that the children of this world are more shrewd in dealing with the world around them than are the children of the light."
I encourage abortions.
Unfortunately obama doesnt though ;/
we have a huge over population problem & we cant justify genocides... plus they never really turn out right
#73 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:04pm by Combat_Mushroom
Ditto to #6
I'm religious as well, but seriously, even religious bumper stickers with big bold letters saying "Jesus is the only way" irritate me to no end.
I love you, #63. Love. You.
i'm Christian too, but shifting weather patterns hearlding the return of Jesus who is upset about abortion and Obama is madness, plain and simple. bad luck and pray it doesn't happen again. :P
#78 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:10pm by QiScorpion
wow thank you #18 for your insight. good thing you've helped me realize that.
This is funny but how is it an FML?
#80 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:11pm by bella_brasil
Ahh that sucks. I don't care if she's religious, but the fact of connecting a sneeze to Jesus, abortions, and the "anti-Christ Obama" is ridiculous. FYL, indeed.
Evolution a liberal agenda? HAHA!
#81 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:12pm by geesquared
#57
If you didnt get the joke about the pirates, just google "pastafarian", it will make more sense ;-)
#82 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:12pm by Rosinha
People like her give us a bad name. I believe in evolution, I support Obama, and I like what he's doing. And I'm a Christian.
Funny. It seems like she's (one of many who's) following the "letter of the law" (Bible) and not really thinking about what it means. And that's exactly what Jesus said about certain Jewish groups (Pharisees, I believe).
Also, lol @ #13.
#83 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:12pm by mattsomething
#63& 75:
you guys are computer nerds with no lifes. FYL!
and that lady was psycho. Im a baptist, and I just find people like this off the deep end. lll conversate about God and whats believed but theres a time and place. AND LOGIC. and she didnt have it. but to each her own.... that was her theory.
but yeah, FHL.
#86 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:13pm by ohhhhshizzz
and ... how is she shoving religious down her throat !?
.. she simply said something.
#87 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:14pm by bella_brasil
87. It's a little overboard to spout uncommon, deluded beliefs while in a public place to someone you do not know/have never met. It's not simply saying something.
Lol it is around here for some reason..I live in CT and me personally dont find it a big deal when someone says stuff like this.
#92 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:20pm by bella_brasil
i don't really believe in god as much as jesus, i might be a christian (even though i don't like all this worship bullshit) but MAN is she messed in the head. i dislike religion. partly because everyone believes in a nonexistant 'god' and we are forced to believe this crap. screw that.
#98 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:31pm by bubs_AKA_vermin
I totally agree with #52.
Although when people like that do shit like that you just need to walk away.
Those kind of people who go into depth such as that don't deserve attention, but they don't deserve any disrespect either.
#99 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:40pm by never_accepted
#98
I am confused by your statements. By believing in Jesus, you are believing in God Himself, for Jesus is the son of God, our Lord and Savior.
I understand that you are young and that youth make mistakes. Don't worry, Jesus will forgive you! As long as you accept God as your one and true savior that is ;-)
And you can be a good Christian without going to Mass! Just make sure all of your values are in check and abstain until marriage. I find some of the things that our current president is supporting despicable, but support him because I love this great nation.
God bless, #98
#101 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:48pm by McHammerfist
I don't say anything to people when they sneeze. I hate saying, "bless you." I know it has some sort of background as to why we say it, but I don't see the point. Not to mention I'm not a religious person.
People like that, however, scare me. They also make me giggle.
#103 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:59pm by VerticalOrbit
Yeah, I know a couple of people like that. They're really annoying.
#107 - On 04/08/2009 at 5:17pm by FreedomFirst
THANK YOU JAAASUS!!! O LORD RELEASE THE DEMON FROM INSIDE OF YOUR DAUGHTA AND CLEANSE HER. THANK YOU JAAASUS!!! DO NOT SEND US TO THE FIERY PITS OF HELL BUT HONOR OUR FOLLOWING AND BRING US TO HEAVEN!! (cartman in south park *do the crippled go to heaven*)
#109 - On 04/08/2009 at 5:26pm by piderman13
these are the sort of people that make me feel ashamed to admit that im religious.
#110 - On 04/08/2009 at 5:27pm by fueledbyamy
and yea #110 Its tough to admit your religious in any fashion, but if you do that later, after people can tell you're completely normal then it's fine hahaha
#111 - On 04/08/2009 at 5:31pm by piderman13
That customer is ridiculously awesome. I personally wouldn't go as far to say that you sneezing signals the coming of Jesus (after all, you could just be sick), but I definitely like the way she is thinking.
#112 - On 04/08/2009 at 5:33pm by biolysis
Wait until she stops for a breath and seriously as you can, say "No, it's Chtulhu trying to steal my soul."
hahahah thats sooo funnnyy i would have died laughing
#118 - On 04/08/2009 at 5:49pm by BeautifulLove2
Why do religious people get so uptight about Obama and abortion policies... seriously who cares if it's legal or illegal, if you get knocked up, nobodies forcing you to have an abortion. Definitely FYL dude
wow. 105.
A) Barack Obama is not Muslim.
B) If he were Muslim, you should show some tolerance and respect for the beliefs of others.
C) I can't believe racism like that which you just spewed still exists.
#120 - On 04/08/2009 at 5:53pm by sagittaurus
Why do religious people get so uptight about Obama and abortion policies... seriously who cares if it's legal or illegal, if you get knocked up, nobodies forcing you to have an abortion. Definitely FYL dude
Should've just said "No, I'm just allergic to retards."
#122 - On 04/08/2009 at 5:59pm by i_am_not_me
Christians are fucking toxic, forever poisoning the rest of us with stupid crackpot theories, invites to their god damn church, and all kinds of other bullshit no one gives a flying fuck about... and they think it's their duty in life to do so, spread the word of the lord, annoy everyone you meet... assholes. do I come around town talking about great life is without religion? no, I don't. so don't tell me how fucking great your life with jesus is, because you've never met him, never will, and are just making yourself look like a spacecase.
#101 come on... M.C. Hammer.... really? a one hit wonder... and even that sucked ASS.
#123 - On 04/08/2009 at 6:00pm by thekreeperkeeper
#101
i am not religious... however i believe in jesus.... why because he was probably a human being who was disillusioned about his existence and conception and somehow managed to make other people believe also. i really dont believe there is a god sitting up above us watching his little earth experiment it is far to ridiculous, especially considering there is NO proof. also religion has no place in politics.... anyone heard of Israel? and i truely think no man no matter what should have any say at all in abortion.... they will never have to deal with an issue like that.
#124 - On 04/08/2009 at 6:01pm by kelseymarie
That's not really a FML. That's called working with the general public, man. We've all done it, we've all had wtf moments.
#126 - On 04/08/2009 at 6:08pm by Panicattackx5
"He also supports a plethora of liberal agendas that go against christian morals (theory of evolution, etc)."
Plenty of Christians believe in evolution. The Pope just released a statement a few weeks ago to reiterate the Church's belief in it.
Liberal agenda? There isn't a liberal agenda. "liberals" come in all shapes and sizes with a variety of different opinions. Yes, they will lean towards certain sides of an argument but there is still much disagreement among them. And Obama isn't the most liberal...in fact he is angering quite a few liberals.
For example: http://www.eff.org/press/archives/2009/04/05
"Obama Embraces Bush Position on Warrantless Wiretapping and Secrecy"
#129 - On 04/08/2009 at 6:31pm by kdbattista
I feel your pain, at my job as a cashier around Christmas this lady said "people don't understand what Christmas really is" and thinking she was talking about how everyone is so wrapped up in buying the perfect gifts for their children and family members I said "yeah I know". She then started talking about how she's a Jehovah's Witness and asked me if I was, too. I was clear to tell her I don't follow any religion and then she began trying to convert me to a Jehovah's Witness and giving me all these facts about how Christmas is a BS holiday and why Jehovah's Witnesses were better and I would like to be one of them. I was stuck with listening to her for about 20 minutes before I got extremely busy and she left. FML.
this is why i've always found religion scary. people trying to force it down other's throats and causing conflict with everyone who is not of the same belief. :/
#132 - On 04/08/2009 at 6:37pm by lovergirlx0x0
$10 says this FML was entirely fabricated as an outlet for the creator to bitch about Christians and anyone who doesn't worship the ground Obama walks on.
I read a few of the posts, and I have a few things to say. I dont have the comment numbers, forgive me.
A few people said that its not okay that religious people shove their beliefs down others throats, which I agree with. For the record I'm a catholic but I have the intelligence to know that most people just dont want to hear it, BUT, a few posts also contained something about liberal politics. For all of those who havent made the connection, force feeding your beliefs down other people's throats goes both ways. I go to a prep school in a VERY blue state and pretty much every day last fall I was told I was "wrong" because I'm a conservative and didnt support Obama. I didnt go around telling people to support McCain because a) I would be ridiculed, but more importantly b) I knew they didnt want to hear it. Moral of the story: Dont go around shoving your political beliefs down peoples throats for the same reason you dont want people shoving religious beliefs down yours (this goes both ways, btw. For those liberals that understand this, I thank you more than you will ever imagine. I'd hope you thank conservatives that understand this as well).
Some people also said they dont understand why religious people dont like abortion. Growing up in the catholic faith has taught me that life begins at fertilization, and that abortion is killing that unborn baby. The Christian faith is based on the ten commandments, one of them being "thou shalt not kill". Most Christians (in no way am I saying all of us do) believe that, and therefore abortion is murder. Second, well this is more of a moral lesson than a religious one, having a baby is a big responsibility, and I'm not entirely sure if everyone in the faith was taught this but it is widely believed that you should take responsibility for your actions. If you choose to have unprotected sex and do get pregnant, it isnt a good lesson to be taught that you can go and get rid of your child just like that. Its not taking responsibility. As I said above believe what you want, and I am aware this is biased but I hadnt seen a good response saying the other side of the issue.
OP: Having people shove their beliefs down your throat can be very annoying, so yes, FYL.
I have to admit, I would have started giggling halfway through her rant and then just turned away. That totally reminds me of my crazy, now deceased great-grandma who was heavy into religion. Some people can be complete nut-jobs.
#135 - On 04/08/2009 at 6:55pm by Morose_Princess
OK, I'd just like to clear some things up about pro-life people. We are NOT all religious. I am going to make a completely non-religious argument for pro-life. The Constitution says we can have the right to our own life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness AS LONG AS we do not infringe upon the rights (life, liberty...)of others. That's why we can't kill someone for our "pursuit of happiness"; it infringes upon their right to life. Abortion ends the "life" of a fetus. The reason I am pro-life is that I believe that life is created when the fetus is, so therefore, the fetus should be given all the rights the Constitution grants. Abortion would infringe that right, and therefore be unconstitutional. It all rests on where you believe life (and the rights granted by the Constitution) begin. If you think a fetus isn't under law's jurisdiction, why is there a double murder charge when someone murders a pregnant woman?
#136 - On 04/08/2009 at 7:14pm by roundyswater
Wow, #136, that was a brilliant argument against abortion.
Much applause.
#134 made a great statement as well.
#138 - On 04/08/2009 at 7:29pm by Schoolcraft
When did you people fucking forget that evolution is a widely accepted practice and theory MAINLY because it actually shows HARD SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE, did you fools forget that the bible was a BOOK WRITTEN by a group of MEN who were obviously smoking some VERY STRONG DRUG, not saying that its not an accepted belief but i would rather believe something with promising evidence rather than a book written thousands of years ago by some delusional old men. AND IM A CHRISTIAN!!!!
And this whole shit on bashing Obama, Fuck You Fools, Racists, Bigots.
And Religion didnt cause many of the wars in History, IGNORANCE DID!!!!
#140 - On 04/08/2009 at 7:32pm by bigdawgandrew
Since when is sneezing a mistake lol aaaaaand if it were me in your situation I would've told her to take her hooplah else where.
i would of played along with it for a little just say "when jesus comes he'll finally get rid of the jews and the blacks." then just point at her face and start laughing ur ass off. atheism ftw
i've been wondering how to respond to this fml the entire way through reading the comments. and i think #134 summed up everything i wanted to say.
to clarify something else, not all those who are christians or even religious are crazy zealots out to annoy others into a belief. you're all welcome to "annoy" us with yours. we'd love to talk.
#140, How can you discredit the Bible and be Christian? Unless you only discredit certain parts of it as allegories, I don't understand. Also, everyone who disagrees with Obama is not racist. Maybe I missed some of the moderated comments, but no one has said anything racist here. I agree with you about your last statement though, except it has caused many, but the other commenter (too lazy to find the number) was wrong in saying that all violence is created by religion. That's absurd, unfounded, and ignorant.
#144 - On 04/08/2009 at 7:38pm by roundyswater
WOW... #140..
How can anyone who thinks the Bible was written by a bunch of high old men and that it holds no relevance or authority today be a Christian? I don't care how you justify it, you're not. So stop using that title so the rest of us look as stupid as you.
I agree completely with #144. I am so sick of everyone treating Obama like he is the end-all be-all of human existence. It is great that he is the first black man to be president, that is amazing and commendable and super admirable, however him being black or other candidates and presidents being white has NOTHING TO DO WITH POLITCS. Maybe if people didn't get so caught up on his skin color then they would have been smart enough to vote for the BEST candidate, and realize how unrealistic and dangerous his policies are given the economy.
But I seriously just CANNOT understand how your mind works... it blows me away that someone can actually call themselves a Christian and deny the Bible of it's authority.
By the way, do some research on evolution. Last time I checked it was a theory, a theory that was being more and more disproved each year. Read a book.
#146 - On 04/08/2009 at 7:54pm by lovedrug102
