Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58378) - you totally deserved it (1098)
On 08/13/2009 at 7:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
You know, I was thinking OP had a dead end job... fuck morbid, he's fucked from the beginning until death. Would you like embalming with that?
what the fuck. this is one of the truest FMLs out there...i would be so pissed off.
#65 - On 08/14/2009 at 1:00pm by fosizzlemynizzlE
Tomorrow this should be the dad:
"Today, my daughter beat me over the head with a shovel and buried me alive in my own funeral home". But seriously, FYL
#35 - On 08/14/2009 at 7:49am by icertainlysuck
Haha, he could write that #35, but that would just be another FML for the OP as that would mean is dad just called him "his daughter" instead of "his son" =P
#39 - On 08/14/2009 at 8:20am by fuckyourlife8
You should totally crash the entire business just to spite him.
#4 - On 08/14/2009 at 3:37am by quackingfairy
Wow, that is absolutely terrible that a parent would be so selfish as to force you into taking over the family business. That's why having a "family business" is pretty lame really. If it just starts out that way that's fine, but if none of your children or other close relatives want to take it over then you'll have to pass it on to someone else or just let it go. Every kid should have the chance to choose their own career path in life. Parents should only be there to help advise them when making the choice, but let the kid make the final decision.
#5 - On 08/14/2009 at 3:39am by israelnotjacob
I agree. My parents are in the medical field but never forced my sister or I to choose a field like that. I am an English Major and my sister works for a fashion store. I would be terrible being a doctor because I am hemophobic. Did the OP's father ever think, hey maybe my son is afraid of dead people or wants to be a singer.
But, OP, even if you weren't accepted, what stopped you from saving up money and taking a community college course or moving out. You chose to let you father force you into the business. Yeah it must have sucked but really, fifteen years later you are probably still working in the business. That puts you at thirty something, go to college and get the degree you want, sell the business and start your own.
Martha Stewart was thirty when she decided to become a home designer.
#49 - On 08/14/2009 at 9:55am by LaceyPatrickson
Exactly, she chose to make mistakes, she went out there, and albeit did something illegal, she showed she was her own person.
#92 - On 08/15/2009 at 1:57am by LaceyPatrickson
You laugh but you know I am right. Martha Stewart saved those prisoners, she showed them how to make shanks both beautiful and durable.
#105 - On 08/24/2009 at 2:10pm by LaceyPatrickson
Wow that sucks so bad,if I were you I would fuck up his business.By giving a bad name to his business,scaring costumers and talking shit about your dad.Really I am planning to learn in an university and if my parents will do something like that I will give them a peace of my mind,though there's no way they will do something that horrible to me.
I hope you're going to study in your own language at "an university."
But anyway, this is a true FML. A lot of FMLs are just inconveniences or uncomfortable situations, and I'm like, oh, that sucks, but big deal, get over it. But this guy's life has truly been fucked over, and there's not much he can do a this point to change anything. Great dad you got there.
Dude you had an income already made for you, given its a bit morbid... Many people suffer quite a bit after finishing education, because they can't get a decent job and have high loans to pay back. Your business is something that isn't going out of business anytime soon.
#8 - On 08/14/2009 at 3:41am by BoboMatrix
This is true.
When I first read this, I was also horrified, but #8 is kinda right.
I mean yeah, it's awful you didn't get to 'do your own thing' and I would be beyond pissed myself if this happened, but you are probably pretty secure in your job and you don't have to look for a job or have ridiculous loans to pay off.
But, what if the OP wants to be anything besides the owner of a funeral home? Just because the OP will have money doesn't mean he'll be happy. The least that his dad could have done was let him go to college, try to find a job, and if that didn't work and he was unhappy, then he could have worked in the family business. But some people are just too proud of the business they've made, and think it's more important than any other family member's happiness.
#16 - On 08/14/2009 at 4:08am by Bombercules
Thank you, #16, for being able to make the perfect comment.
For fuck's sake, his dad killed 15 years of what he could've been... Who knows, he might've ended up as a successful lawyer or doctor? I can't believe his father did that to him. If I found this out, I think I would be devastated to the extent of clinical depression because my life, and how I live it, and what I make of it is the most important thing to me. I'm so so sorry, I honestly feel your pain, OP.
#24 - On 08/14/2009 at 5:03am by Kiwi_Splash
That is true, but like others have said, what if he had other dreams such as becoming a Doctor, Lawyer, or a College Professor that were lost just because his father needed someone to run the family business?
#40 - On 08/14/2009 at 8:27am by Darthbane2007
i would take your dad to civil court over that. not sure what you'd be able to claim but any other idea I have would make him your next customer as it were.
#13 - On 08/14/2009 at 4:00am by Subjectzero
Is this the plot to "Six Feet Under" ? I never actually watched it, so idk...
#15 - On 08/14/2009 at 4:05am by Bombercules
it's not the plot from 6FU, but I can imagine it happening. OP, that's awful to hear, this really is an FML, what a shamefull thing for your father to do.
yeah. reminds me of six feet under....coincidentally im watching it right now. but really... that sucks.
Don't forget this : YOU will be the one who will choose his retirement home...
Never thought ot selling the fucking business ?
Well! Good thing nobody can do THAT anymore because we'll ALSO get a copy by EMAIL!!!!
Besides, you can go to college at any age, just so long as you met your high school prerequisites. Go to college now.
#23 - On 08/14/2009 at 4:53am by egaonogenki
Combine #22 and #23 and you get a perfect plan! Sell the business and you got some money to go to college with.
#41 - On 08/14/2009 at 8:31am by Nonamerequired
look at the bright side, death will always be here and is profitable. alot of baby boomers are heading that way
#29 - On 08/14/2009 at 6:10am by Pastor_Rich
Not to mention that after having a frank exchange of views with your dear father, you're perfectly placed to surreptitiously dispose of the body.
#34 - On 08/14/2009 at 7:09am by gwenhwyfaer
Omg I'd disown them as parents and go to college as a mature student :)
#30 - On 08/14/2009 at 6:14am by ChChCharlie
You didn't find it suspicious that they "did not send" anything? Ever rejection letters? Should have called. THis sucks though. I'd never speak to him again.
#31 - On 08/14/2009 at 6:43am by capricaz
That really sucks for you, but did you really have to post it on FML where there are like 5 different "my parents threw out my college acceptance letters" stories?
YDI. If you didn't do anything when you didn't receive acceptance/rejection letter, you don't deserve to go to college.
#33 - On 08/14/2009 at 7:08am by WonderBlunder
It was 15 years ago. And he obviously comes from a working class background and would have been the first in his family to attend college. Not everyone is in a position to take advantage of the admissions process. Maybe he didn't know that they'd send rejection letters or maybe his dad told them he received rejection letters and he had thrown them away.
so you had schools you never heard from and you never even bothered to call or follow up with? you just figured no letter means rejection? I'm not convinced you wanted to go or could have handled college.
Sell the business and use the money for your college tuition. He ruined your future, you can ruin his business. An eye for an eye, right?
#38 - On 08/14/2009 at 8:11am by iFruit
Didn't you have to go to college to learn how to become a funeral director?
Either way, it sucks that your dad was so selfish.
Nope anyone can be a Funeral Director, you just gotta have certain like qualities in your personality usually to be taken on, there are college courses that do help but anyone can start out in the business and work up!
This is true - but I worked in the funeral industry, and I can tell you what is also true about it: you pretty much have to be related to the funeral home owner to advance in your job. The funeral business is full of nepotism. Outsiders tend to get stuck in the really crappy jobs, whether they've taken courses or not, and relatives of the owners will be promoted very quickly, regardless of ability or even interest in the business. This is the main reason I decided against pursuing a career as a funeral director.
If you run it now, I'd fund a job or apply to a community college, and once you were accepted/hired, shut the funeral home down and explain why to your father. He deserves it.
#46 - On 08/14/2009 at 9:30am by FuzzyWalnuts
All of these FML's are starting to sound the same. Blah blah blah my dad threw out acceptance letters, boo hoo I've heard it before. Yeah it sucks but it was 15 years ago..Move on.
#47 - On 08/14/2009 at 9:48am by Bloodknight
Look on the bright side, when so many college grads can't get a job after graduation and have a student loans to pay off, you won't have to worry about either of those. You can walk right into a career.
#50 - On 08/14/2009 at 9:56am by ZebraFish451
His dad could have said he got rejection letters. But yeah, OP was stupid, he should have called the schools to find out why he didn't get the letters. I don't think he deserved to have his father undermine his happiness, but he LET his father force him into the business. He didn't have to stay, there is community college, he could have gotten some skills and worked construction or as a beautician (lol) ;p. He could have traveled. He let his father trick him into this life. You didn't deserve it but you let him live your life for you.
#51 - On 08/14/2009 at 10:02am by LaceyPatrickson
I feel your pain OP. I have the feeling that my dad doesnt want me to go to college so I could stay home to take care of him.
#52 - On 08/14/2009 at 10:21am by jiltedfriend
He could actually go to jail for that. He would have multiple counts of obstruction of correspondence, and depending on what exactly he did, of mail tampering.
He ruins your life, you ruin his. Sounds fair to me.
#87 - On 08/15/2009 at 12:58am by tehredbaran
Wow, I would much rather have inherited a business, especially one that's recession proof, than have gone to college, but i guess that's just me. Someone beat me to it, but yeah messing with mail addressed to someone else is a federal offense, though not sure what the statute of limitations is. Also, you probably should have been suspicious that you didn't at least get a rejection letter, though 15 years ago you probably couldn't check your status online, you could have called.
#55 - On 08/14/2009 at 10:30am by russianspy1234
Your Dad is a complete inconsiderate asshole. On the bright side the family business isn't too bad. No matter what the economy's current state, people die. So at least you'll always have a steady income.
#56 - On 08/14/2009 at 10:54am by 110879
Here's what to do:
1. Sue him for tampering with your mail.
2. Shut down his funeral home business.
3. Steal whatever else valuable possessions he has. (Obviously don't tell him it was you).
4. Leave to go to college with funeral + lawsuit money and never see/talk/even email him again.
#58 - On 08/14/2009 at 11:18am by PerfectRandomnes
that's just awful, I hope you eventually go to school anyway if you'd like to persue a degree. it's never too late.
#59 - On 08/14/2009 at 11:26am by AshleyRose784
Just secretly go to college now and then he can't stop you.
#60 - On 08/14/2009 at 11:30am by somethingawesome
Find a new job, sell the business if it's in your name, take the money all for yourself, and tell your dad to fuck the hell off. No parent should EVER determine their own kid's career path just because it's what they want.
#63 - On 08/14/2009 at 12:45pm by avoidthegirl
Seriously OP? That kind of sucks but, at least you have a great job (I also work at a funeral home), and one that is, as others have stated, recession proof. I know it might not be the job you wanted but, look at the bright side, you will always have clients, and the money is fantastic. Sure, the hours a bit odd but hey, there are two things for sure in life, death and taxes... Make the best of it.
#67 - On 08/14/2009 at 1:26pm by flyingtoasters
That just terrible! If he's still alive, sue him! Parents who keep their kids from going to college and being truly successful for their own selfish agenda using lies and deceit should be fined a sum three times all four years tuition of the most expensive college their child was accepted to. This sum should be doubled for every five years the parent hides college acceptance from their child. The money from the fine should, obviously, be given to the child. OP, this is going to sound harsh, but if your father is still alive, sue him for everything he's worth. This guy really thinks it's okay to keep you from achieving in order to keep his business alive, and that's not right. It's not too late to go to college. You can still make something of yourself!
Run the biz into the ground as you pocket all the $$$. Then 'retire' on a tropical island... right after you put dear ol dad in the cheapest cracker-box nursing home you can find.
I'm not buying it. Why didn't you call the schools when you didn't receive an accept or reject letter?
My uncle does this and he grosses over $250,000 a year. I know the college experience is good but your pretty much all set. People aren't ever going to stop dying. Just don't do the same thing to your kids.
That just shows how unambitious you are. If you didn't get accepted, then you would have received a rejection letter. You should have investigated the situation 15 years ago. You need to be ambitious to survive in college.
#74 - On 08/14/2009 at 4:57pm by sjbartholome
If the OP got the acceptance letters 15 years ago, then he would be in his late 30s or so. How would his father stop him when hes in 30s now?
#75 - On 08/14/2009 at 5:00pm by sjbartholome
At least you're employed in an industry that is fairly stable. There's always going to be dead people to get rid of.
Haha. You're basically David from Six Feet Under without the extreme guilt of abandoning your family business, and I'm guessing the homosexuality.
This is one of the worst FMLs I have read. We need a section about parents. Some people just shouldn't have children, because they are just way too selfish. Simply evil. However, if you hid your acceptance letters, did he replace it with rejection letters?
sounds like someone else who found out her dad faked not accepted letters from her colleges.
#81 - On 08/14/2009 at 7:33pm by _PurpleLove_
holy shit!
fyl ferrrrsure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but it sounds like you can still reapply?
#83 - On 08/14/2009 at 10:14pm by member0987654321
maybe the father probably forged the rejection letters, and FYL OP you could of had a bright future ahead of you if your dad wouldn't have tampered with your letters.
like my girl!
put his glasses on! he cant see without his glasses!
#88 - On 08/15/2009 at 1:04am by katiefershady
they were probably sucky colleges anyway. you haven't done shit in 15 years so who the fuck cares
#89 - On 08/15/2009 at 1:12am by golfmanreddy
that is just some reallly really fuked up shit....why would your dad think running a business where you have to suk cocks from corpses every fkin day is better than a proper job where you're happily defending your client through the use of rude,vulgar language ^_^ (being a defense attorney would be great.....but meh)
#94 - On 08/15/2009 at 2:46am by EveryDayJackAss
my parents hide letters from me.
i know how what it feels.. probably only remotely.
#96 - On 08/15/2009 at 4:24am by iloveespresso
Tell your dad to go screw himself, walk away from the family business and re-apply to college. And don't give a different mailing address this time, a trusted friend or something.
accepted or not, you will receive a letter from the college stating their decision on you. YDI for not questioning the fact that you received NOTHING back. you're probably too dumb for college anyways
i have a feeling my father will do the same exact thing. hes a undertaker also. my family always says "somebodies got to do it" think on the bright side its a good paying job
#102 - On 08/17/2009 at 1:36pm by rachybaby614
I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY!! OMG you are complaining??? I have been trying to get a job in the mortuary and funeral business since I was in HIGH SCHOOL! I am now thirty, clearly it never did and never will happen! I would SO happy if my family ran a mortuary and I got to take it over. If you don't want the job I will gladly step in!!! I am not even kidding!
You should open a motel and use your knowledge of embalming to do something like in Psycho.
#109 - On 10/09/2009 at 4:19am by LaceyPatrickson
Don't CRASH the business. SELL the business.
If it's even remotely successful you should get a decent amount for it. Use the money to go to college or do whatever else with your life.
#112 - On 02/19/2010 at 10:04am by DemonicSpoon
