Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47917) - you totally deserved it (2243)
On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
omg that is sooooo wrong. I wouldn't know whether to feel disgusted with myself or like a god.
#190 - On 06/21/2009 at 12:50am by GrandTheftLlama
Ummm....... wow
I think i just died a little on the inside.
I now understand how you got a patient "really happy" O.o
#4 - On 06/13/2009 at 10:02am by myfairyoshi
oh baaaaaby thats hot nothing like good ol granny orgasms
#8 - On 06/13/2009 at 10:05am by ZiggyMorrison
Damn man. Is the OP the Hamburger Helper glove? Cuz I know those fingers do more than just help hamburgers.
#15 - On 06/13/2009 at 10:13am by VenomSiphon
That's going to be awkward next time, she'll be expecting it. Try a cold wash cloth in future? Above all EWW no-LOL
#27 - On 06/13/2009 at 10:38am by F_Y_Comments
I can see you walking past her room today...
"Hey sonny! Rip off mah diapaa and doo it again, sonny!"
OP: sucks for you.
#20: pahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! =D
#29 - On 06/13/2009 at 10:39am by cherry_blossom
Don't be ignorant, #26.
But hey, OP, if you ever meet a younger woman with a diaper fetish, you're set.
You better write this in your journal because that is possibly the funniest thing ever, While reading this a mental picture popped up. Yea I thought it was gross, but hell of a good laugh. Next time bring your own diaper...for yourself age aint nothing but just a numbaaaaa haha
This seems similar to the Scrubs episode where Elliot gives a patient an orgasm during a medical exam.
#43 - On 06/13/2009 at 11:19am by ForestFire0
I actually just threw up in my mouth a little bit...
Use a fucking frozen wash cloth next time.
#45 - On 06/13/2009 at 11:27am by Wittlestalker
omg fml i gave a women a orgasm?
man i hate these fml's
#47 - On 06/13/2009 at 11:30am by UncleverName_FYL
Wow... that's really redefining "long term care". I'll bet you see a lot of new business when word gets out of your "special services".
Maybe you should be a gynecologist. haha, jkjk
but forreal... that's a bit grotesque.
#54 - On 06/13/2009 at 12:09pm by violinist666
maybe don't do as thorough of a job next time...
i understand you were trying to get the patient clean and all
which is caring of you, but we know better now.
#55 - On 06/13/2009 at 12:10pm by HELLOASHLEYLYNN
if this is true, you must be very talented. some people never are able to get anyone off at all, much less without even trying. perhaps you should market that skill. i smell a sit-com...!!
#56 - On 06/13/2009 at 12:13pm by fretforyerlatte
How embarrassing for her, that is not something she can help. Unless she said come on keep doin it or something.
Why are there so many comments saying how gross that is? If she's in a long term care facility, there's a good chance she has dementia so she won't remember it next time anyways, and no, you don't use a cold washcloth on any resident unless they prefer them that way. I do wonder how much "cleaning" the op had to do in order to achieve those results though, maybe had a really messy bm that was everywhere?
This sounds like it could have been a 98 year old lady at MY job... interesting. I have the same profession.
#71 - On 06/13/2009 at 1:31pm by myotherlips
Hey, at least if you hook up with her down the road, getting her off won't be a project. :]
#77 - On 06/13/2009 at 2:01pm by zeroprojekt
Eh, I don't see what's so bad about it.. That was probably the best thing to happen to that woman in the past ten years. Old people need lovin too.
And who knows, maybe she will write you into her will for this.
Hahaaa, Thats Funny
I Don't Mean To Be Mean But Thats Funny!
Did You Get A Tip?
#87 - On 06/13/2009 at 2:44pm by EllieBelly
And who knows, maybe she will write you into her will for this.
Hahaha.
I don't see how people are clicking YDI, because they don't. They are doing their job, taking care of people who can't take care of themselves. Yeah, if that happened to me, I'd be freaked, but whatever. The OP didn't deserve this, you ignorant fucks. Go back to flipping your hamburgers.
#91 - On 06/13/2009 at 2:50pm by purpleiscool
Ok, I don't realy think that should have been shaird. So times is best to keep thinks to your self.
RI
i didnt eat breakfast yet and i jus threw up on the floor.
#96 - On 06/13/2009 at 3:20pm by friscofool
hey, at least you made someone happy. isn't that your goal as a caretaker? weird way to do it, yes, and unfortunate for you, .but you made someone happy!
If ur a guy, why would they tell u to go change an old ladys diper??? That company is retarded
#100 - On 06/13/2009 at 4:01pm by soccerstar6115
Have you ever noticed after not getting some or getting off for a while you get off at the drop of a hat? Probably what happened here. No special skill on the OP's part, and probably not a huge amount of cleaning either. Just extreme frustration on the patient's part, so that when she felt something down there, whether she was coherent or not, she let loose.
But seriously, OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD NO!
If I hadnt already been sick today and lost everything, I'd be tossing it up now.
#104 - On 06/13/2009 at 4:09pm by Brooklynxman
EW EW EW HAAAHAHAAAAA! #104 pretty much said everything, LAWL.
#105 - On 06/13/2009 at 4:21pm by poiuytrewqlkjhgf
I could have lived without ever reading that. CANNOT UNREAD.
#110 - On 06/13/2009 at 5:22pm by rightsaidred
Did you whisper "you're a dirty dirty girl" in her ear while you were 'cleaning' her? I bet you did, you little devil. Giggity.
#112 - On 06/13/2009 at 5:26pm by stop_whining
You just made me sick. I want to cry and punch you in the face at the same time. That is so sad that I can't even think about it any more. For a person to have that little human contact...and for you to put that image in my f-ing head. F MYYYYY Life.
Some overreactive comments... I mean ew, but not THAT ew. I guess the interweb has just desensitized me to gross things.
oh god. fyl. and ydi for putting that image in my mind.
#117 - On 06/13/2009 at 7:01pm by chinesedemocracy
I'm sorry but a little cleaning is not going to get you off. It's like saying "I was babysitting today and changed the baby's diaper and the baby climaxed." if you got a patient off, you must have been scrubbing grafiti off the wall.
Thats soo0 disgusting i couldnt stop squirming just by imagining her face.. Was she an elder? Ewwwwww! Gross. Ew ew ew i feel badfor youu lmao
#122 - On 06/13/2009 at 8:03pm by applejackk
So, I read this...and for some reason I heard Cleveland say "Oh that's nasty." except, really slow, from when they're in the nursing home...
Weird, I know.
But I thought I'd share.
Hahaha man that's so gross!
I would change job if I were you lol
FYL
#134 - On 06/13/2009 at 9:46pm by Omglikewow
Oh Wow... I was really hungry a few seconds ago but now I'm nauseous... FYL to the Max...
#135 - On 06/13/2009 at 10:10pm by JiggleJugJug
Don't feel bad. If it happened it happened. As long as you didn't do it intentionally and she was cleaned properly. We're in the healthcare field to help people who need it. Right?
FYL dude O_O
That made me cringe.
I so could not do your job, so kudos to you.
#137 - On 06/13/2009 at 10:16pm by FlyMeToTheMoon
Ps most of these comments don't seem to understand what your job is, or what a LTC facility is. Kinda fyl, but it's ok.
That's pretty disturbing, but you have to feel kind of bad for her...she was probably embarrassed after that.
#140 - On 06/13/2009 at 10:42pm by EasilyUnamused
Oh man. Oh man.
Good on you for doing this kind of job (whether you dislike it or not), and... that's pretty weird. Awkward.
Lol no one said she was old, just long teem care. That could mean she was younger with a mental prob or sumthin.
#142 - On 06/13/2009 at 10:45pm by RaptorJesus
For #23 who was looking for a pun.
She was as happy as a clam!
#149 - On 06/14/2009 at 12:02am by knivesout12
Oh wow...atleast you made somebody's daily diaper changing a little more special today...
#151 - On 06/14/2009 at 12:19am by Nintendork
I really do respect people who do these jobs; I could never work in medical care of any sort, and I do appreciate and commend people who do.
So, FYl, but know you're appreciated by some of us :-)
She was probly faking the orgasm like all of your girlfriends did. Haha Im jk, but yea she couldve just been messin with you
Some women are just hyperorgasmic, I hooked up with a girl last year that had 24 orgasms in less than 10 minutes, more than twice what any other girl has had with me. You know the G in G-Spot stands for Granny, right?
#156 - On 06/14/2009 at 1:19am by FlaminYawn
oh dude that was the worst moment to be drinking ever! it burns my nose!!
#160 - On 06/14/2009 at 2:45am by KittenOnAcid
Well at least she's not going to be complaining about the service.
#164 - On 06/14/2009 at 8:00am by godyourethick
You guys are all terrible. Sure it's kind of nasty, but OP, you probably did her a favor. I hope you don't quit your job because of this.
#165 - On 06/14/2009 at 11:33am by spirited_away33
All you people who are grossed out are cruel. Don't old people deserve happiness? Hell, orgasms are ALWAYS good, and that's great that an old woman got some pleasure, even though she's old and sick.
#166 - On 06/14/2009 at 2:17pm by GrapefruitZoe
I'm kinda wondering if u really enjoyed it and felt u should share this disgusting story, I'll never be the same again, fml.
Think of it this way, maybe she'll put in a good word for you. Hopefully she just doesn't tell them HOW you pleasure her so...
Fyl if you're also a woman, and did you absolutely have to look?
#183 - On 06/16/2009 at 12:09am by BreezyPear
I am sure that WAS disturbing you for, but hey, it was an accident, and I am sure that lady really enjoyed the nice perk!!! Really, she probably hasn't had an experience like that in years and years....
#191 - On 06/21/2009 at 11:40am by straylight
