Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML
Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, while working in a blood drawing clinic, a mom sat in the chair holding her 4-year-old child, who kicked me square in the groin. Being a heavyset lady, I shrugged it off and collected the sample, while the child screamed, "Kicking worked on the last man that did this!" FML
Today, I was in the hospital. My mom was with me and the pump was beeping for over two hours because everyone was busy with other patients. The Asian doctor came in and my mom said, “THESE PUMPS SOUND LIKE CHINESE TORTURE!“ He stared at her and was like, “Umm. We don’t actually do that there.” FML
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Top comments
CDobs 8
No worries, I'd have done the same thing.
AGB10 19
Nothing wrong with that..I think it's amusing too..specially if the trainer is cute ;) Look on the bright side - Maybe you were the only one in the room who feels 25..and the rest maybe 25 but going in 70..
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Comments (117)
CDobs 8
No worries, I'd have done the same thing.
SmallyBigs 9
Everyone is a kid on the inside :D
HowAreYouToday 34
I get how that'd be funny, but OP seems slightly immature. It could have been worse though. You could have blurted out that you're excellent at giving good fast pumpings.
Caitie_kid 8
No, OP has a sense of humor.
shan88 14
I would have been right there with you OP.
Treveyon56 14
Way to go OP. I did the same just from reading.
SMHsohard 22
Health Care professionals get recertified every 2 years. Frankly, the class is boring as balls after the first couple (especially the BLS class). I'm a 56 year old nurse and I would have been snickering right along with OP.
RedPillSucks 31
boring as balls? Obviously, you haven't seen MY balls... :-/
Ambient25 24
But you have, hence the hate for life...
mr_sarcastic416 29
all of us are a kid inside, some of us are just too afraid to let the kid come out & play
Peachy2392 26
Docbastard, is that you?
AGB10 19
Nothing wrong with that..I think it's amusing too..specially if the trainer is cute ;) Look on the bright side - Maybe you were the only one in the room who feels 25..and the rest maybe 25 but going in 70..
flashback.miss 28
Haha XD should've disguised it with coughing~~~!
iAlissa 34
May I ask you what in the hell is in that eyeball? Cause it's starting to freak me out a bit
flashback.miss 28
supposedly an eye leech :D I got it off of Mr. Creepypasta's page on facebook :)
iAlissa 34
That's rather disgusting
ILoveMyArm 15
I think it is rather lovely, it has this mystical power of making me want to upchuck whenever I see it. :)
KaeSAL 11
I'm pretty sure that's grape jam.
babeababe 16
I think you're doomed to get down voted every time you comment because of that picture.
MGITSWFTC 17
Looking closely, I'm pretty sure that's too purple to be blood, and that's definitely not a leech. Which begs the question: who the hell puts grape jelly on their eye and takes a photo?
Aeroxx1337 17
Looking closely, the eye has purple stuff around it too. I think the blob is purple makeup on the camera lens in a very convenient shape. At least, I hope it is.
dinosxxrawr 22
don't you ever grow up kid.
mangoboy1 19
Don't be embarrassed. I'd laugh too, and so would most.
simplysarcastics 26
Hey, sometimes you can't always control your laughter, I probably would have giggled and got stares too.
PresAgent 23
I would have laughed too, OP. A healthy sense of humor is priceless. I know from experience those first-aid classes can get boring quickly. Good on you for finding humor in such a course, even if the others were a bit prudish.
FindingYujin 26
Hey even older people can have some fun every once in a while.
RoboCunnilingus 23
I agree. Especially since 45 is so close to one's death bed. Gotta find humor where you can. Shit, I'm 23 having a midlife crisis.
FindingYujin 26
I did say older people not old people.
_Peppermint_ 34
Ah, they'll forget about it. Someone was bound to laugh !
Pikawhore 21
What a humerus situation.
asherm 15
Would have hit my funny bone too
RoboCunnilingus 23
Just running past it with my eyes, I thought your profile pic was a big roach. -shudders-