Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML
Today, I was at work and caught my pants on the corner of the door hinge. They tore completely open and my hairy cheek was exposed for the whole office to see. FML
Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, my bra snapped. I then had to ask my male boss if I could staple it back together. Thirty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to my boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML
Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML
Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, my boss had to order some more work pants since mine were worn out after 7 months. He told me the next set I would have to buy myself, since they usually last workers about 2 years, and I must be treating them too roughly. I didn't want to admit that my thighs rubbing together ended up shredding the fabric. FML
Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML
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Top comments
TheChiver 7
To the window! To the wall! To the sweat drops down your balls!
GothickNihilist 15
I hope you weren't freeballing.
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Comments (57)
GothickNihilist 15
I hope you weren't freeballing.
klovemachine 24
I hope he was, just so that **** of a boss will think twice about yelling at OP.
Eluveitie 9
OP, maybe you should have just explained to your boss what happened.
FastidiousPear 6
Well I hope he was just 'cause its so damn comfortable.
TheChiver 7
To the window! To the wall! To the sweat drops down your balls!
TheChiver 7
*Till. Till the sweat drops down your balls. Man, am I on a terrible streak today *facepalm*
GothickNihilist 15
It's ok. Everyone has their off days.
jarrettd 27
Make all them b!tches crall. *facepalm redeemed*
lilhellian 26
It's still a facepalm, because cursing is allowed.. .-.
skittlestrailmix 14
"Balls to the wall. You'll get your balls to the wall!" You know the accept song.
FastidiousPear 6
I thumbed you up, 43, because I know that song. Then regretted it when I remembered that song was terrible.
BryanThaMan 14
You went balls to the wall. Did the best you could
laya_fml 26
The first thing I thought of when I read this was the episode of Spongebob where he ripped his pants, and burst out into song.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
"I thought that I had everybody on my side.. But I went and blew it all sky high. And now she won't even spare a passing glance, all just because I....ripped my pants."
laughtersplay 14
My friend had a similar situation, and wrapped his scarf around his waist. His excuse was his balls were freezing.
Durdanya 13
That's an awesome excuse xD
futtock 7
did they enjoy the view?
kamikrazy 6
Now I learned a lesson I won't soon forget so listen and you won't regret be true to yourself don't miss your chance and you won't end up like the fool...who...ripped...his..PAAANTS
Cbizzlez 10
I hope youBat winged it so at least you get to kick your boss in the ass.
AlkaliSam 6
I prefer The Goat.
tacojauns 45
You didn't tell your boss of your situation why?
perdix 29
Didn't you have the balls to stand up to your boss? I mean, they were dangling out there already. Use 'em!
gc327072 30
So... helicopter the boss?
Catkam623 27
No he should smile at them instead. helicoptering near zipper=bad idea!!!!
mb2_native 15
Or "the goat"
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
a simple braining would've done the trick.