Work: Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and...

By evomadrid24 - 02/06/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 170

You deserved it 2 796

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 23:16 - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 402

You deserved it 6 438

Just Say Yes

By bringthemback - 29/03/2014 10:34 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 097

You deserved it 4 245

By dragynfyre - 06/03/2012 05:37 - United States

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 899

You deserved it 2 127

By overflowing - 16/04/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 190

You deserved it 8 665

By xharmonyx - 24/04/2012 08:29 - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 758

You deserved it 71 067

By Anonymous - 10/06/2016 17:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 697

You deserved it 1 314

Are you taking the piss?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 903

Never trust a cookie

By Anonymous - 06/01/2022 14:01

Today, I'm a proud non drug user, but I trusted an oat cookie at my brother's birthday, which was loaded with pot. Tomorrow is our mandatory drug screening at work, my job is government based, and I worked my ass off to get it. Anyone who tests positive or misses the test is sacked immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 619

You deserved it 172

By heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 151

You deserved it 18 507

By urinanalysis - 03/12/2009 16:08 - Canada

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 361

You deserved it 7 303

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 9:02

Why 2 hours later? Did you need time for your erection to go down?

frozenfreeze 5

Thursday 2 June 2011 9:21

It could have been worse. You could have had to pee while 130 guys were watching you.

Comments

2DMax 11

Thursday 2 June 2011 8:52

so did you see them... fill the bottle?

zakkyzebra 11

Thursday 2 June 2011 8:55

Better to be pissed off than pissed on, Grandpa always said.

OAAS 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 9:20

Oh, that was a accident!!

hypnos_fml 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 11:54

Go Canucks !

iliveinthesky_fml 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 13:56

Well...that tends to happen when you have a job.

L3Paparazzo 7

Thursday 2 June 2011 15:47

hey your getting paid ! Don't complain :P

ginga_ninja_9001 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 23:25

holy shit l3paparazzo ur hot

bigfoot89 4

Tuesday 7 June 2011 13:49

hmmm looking at penises all day... were they all circumcised? I would have loved comparing all the sizes of them..yum!

itsmeppl 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 8:52

yeah cos thats what everyone wants To see every day...

Thrasher91 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 10:57

It seems like every comment you post is dumb

HubertPL 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 13:04

thrasher how about you stop being a cyber **** and post more intelligent comments somewhere else.

oboewhore_xD 6

Thursday 2 June 2011 15:21

I agree with Thrasher. But that might be because he's sexy as ****. MAKE GINGER BABIES WITH ME, THRASHER!!!D:

tBo111 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 20:14

this isn't matchmaker..

rocketeer_97 1

Friday 3 June 2011 0:43

39- but havent you noticed that all the comments she makes, it always gets thumbed down & hidden.

guitarbeast 22

Thursday 2 June 2011 8:53

did you at least get paid extra?

afdude87 6

Thursday 2 June 2011 9:59

probably not. sounds like the military to me.

EffinToofer 3

Thursday 2 June 2011 10:18

Today, I had to work. FML. Would you rather work with a bunch of incompetent drug addicts?

jekalt 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 8:53

owned?

OrgasmicBunnies 9

Thursday 2 June 2011 8:54

I really have nothing witty to say. Umm, did you touch the cup that overfilled?

marinus_fml 19

Thursday 2 June 2011 9:17

Best not to say anything at all then.

alex1432 9

Thursday 2 June 2011 8:58

could have had to watch 130 guys give a stool sample

mrwelsh3 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 9:56

or a sperm sample...eww

missy_lynn012 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 16:41

glass half full...thats my kind of guy.

BountyBass 13

Thursday 2 June 2011 8:58

bet u loved it secretly

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 9:02

Why 2 hours later? Did you need time for your erection to go down?

IscoreOnU 19

Thursday 2 June 2011 9:03

Was it awkward?

imnotonaboat 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 10:47

That comment was just..awful

borkchop1992 15

Thursday 2 June 2011 9:14

did they have you hold it for them?

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I agree, your life sucks 9 416

You deserved it 45 573

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I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 1 235

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I agree, your life sucks 29 681

You deserved it 13 527

Today, I'm on the last day of my honeymoon in Ireland. My wife and I have an amazing hotel room and a huge bed. She's passed out drunk and if I even touch her, she needs the bucket next to our bed. So much for finishing our week on a "fun" note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 299

You deserved it 6 561

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I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 211

Same thing different taste

Just Say Yes

Are you taking the piss?

Never trust a cookie

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