Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, my dad was in town for a day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dad's slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. In total, we talked for 15 minutes. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML
Today, when my girlfriend walked out the room, for a laugh, I covered my whole body except my knob in blankets. Then when I heard her come back in, I yelled, "Surprise!" It was her mom, who'd dropped by unannounced. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
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Top comments
CptJackSwallows 0
that is bloody funny. Plan on how to get him back.
Inkspell 2
LMAO. that's a fun roommate.
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Comments (560)
zeeduhb 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I LIKE DICK TOO. :O
Justforlolz 14
That's some sick shit there, Jimmy!
Laxer21 0
wat a dick
DearLar 0
fyl .
babygirl995 0
your room mate is a genius
terranada 3
lol I love ur roommate!!! xD
ferrettamer 6
your roommate is pro
confusdsincbirth 5
ferrettamer i love ur pic. its true for me -.-
belouie 2
ur gay if u say uber
boatsandhos16 0
your roommate sounds hilarious haha
steffieee 0
I LOVE YOUR ROOMATE<3
JipvS 15
Whahaha that's hilarious! Looking forward to read his story after you caught him back! :D
The_Tool1 13
Sounds like you guys had a gay time
BaconLover27 1
Maximum Trolling Roommate:1 Op:0
gay_flavored_cx 16
I LIKE DICK AS WELL
kaiuskc 3
Well no one like you gay boy
CptJackSwallows 0
that is bloody funny. Plan on how to get him back.
GreenHacker 0
I love how everyone assumes the roommate wasn't being serious. Maybe they did have some fun the night before.
ericshun313 0
that's ****** hilarious
Adrian66_fml 0
EPIC WIN!!!!! I love it. Sounds like something my friends and I would do. Then laugh our asses off about it.
Nicksaysheyyy 0
gay
30hockeyfan4 0
last night wha......
hobojo11 0
by what dick slaping him
iluvmemicookies 0
what did your dad say
niccipicki 0
Pure gold
Inkspell 2
LMAO. that's a fun roommate.
lemyou 0
BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
gntfmlingnow 12
Owned
thanks_guys 14
~~(•_•)~~ ^ laughing dance
fillmyheart028 0
Hahaha! You're roommate is awesome!
Mikemfm88 6
True that!
lolandstuff 8
*Your
ammali 0
LOL NICE!
eastsidehippie 0
Good luck trying to explain that one
dudeman1212 22
"Uhh, dad... He's... We're not... Just.... Nevermind. So how's mom?"
nando92 0
HAHAHAH id wanna chill with your roommate (no ****)
iMP0W3R 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you dumbass. that's like saying "I wanna have gay sex but not be gay." they're both ******* gay idiot.
rednick95 0
379-moron none of them were gay he was just screwing his friend over since he knew his dad was there
roflrawrlol 0
how did he know it was his dad if it was a surprise visit?
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
379-Hanging out with someone is gay? 0.o
yuuudiii 13
he is nuts, but his room mate are cool
Meri_fml 0
xD Your roommate is AWESOME! xDD
dsous72 0
Thats funny as F*** but heres a plan next time he brings a girl back to the room wake them both up and shot "I can't believe you went out last night got drunk and brought home another girl this is hurting our relationship and i can't be with you if you keep cheating on me" followed by " this one doesn't look too manly what were you thinking!"
Fentown_fml 4
Hilarious!
lovesux2013 0
wow #10 nice one :) hahahahahahaha agreed.
Adrian66_fml 0
perfect idea. love it.
daniisme 0
or; OP: hey, I've invited your family to dinner, my treat. room mate: k, sweet (enter fancy resteraunt) -OP gets down on one leg in front of family- OP (in gay voice) Sweetheart, I've invited your family here to show them we are in love, no longer will we have to hide it. Will you marry me? room mate: shit...
2011softballgirl 0
omg love this idea! freaking halarious!!! =)
hmlftw 0
Epic win!
RealityChecker 0
10: win, 361: epic win.
peterubino 2
haha nice one
Legendslayer222 26
@361, what if he accepts the proposal?
ShutUpAndStare 7
Then OP's screwed
Moonshadows 1
LMAO! OP, please use this idea!
lenaduchannes 4
For the win
blackgirllb 12
that's faf
countryrose92 23
#10, wouldn't it be funnier to insult the girl by saying "you could at least do it with an attractive looking one instead of this freaky looking one" or something like that. Make sure that ship sails away and NEVER comes back. Haha