Today, while visiting my dad for spring break, I took a big gulp... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 15/03/2018 19:10

Today, while visiting my dad for spring break, I took a big gulp out of the jug of orange juice in the fridge. It was spiked with vodka. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 14

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

emmuh1900 4

Monday 19 March 2018 19:09

That sucks! Time for a meeting!

interesting33 36

Monday 19 March 2018 23:12

I'm really sorry, take care. give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. this is something you can change. you can stay on the sober path. Well done OP. I'm proud of you.

Comments

emmuh1900 4

Monday 19 March 2018 19:09

That sucks! Time for a meeting!

interesting33 36

Monday 19 March 2018 23:12

I'm really sorry, take care. give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. this is something you can change. you can stay on the sober path. Well done OP. I'm proud of you.

Keywords

Health Awkward Motherhood Money Transportation Lonely Dentist Sadness Abuse Work Nepotism Relatable Ironic Miscellaneous Birthday Parents AITA Food Virginity Love Intimacy Sex Mental health OCD Cute Cleaning Housework Creepy Argument Kids

The Top

Today, my wife, who often complains about being walked on by everyone, let a person take items from our rummage sale without paying for them and simply walked away. When I asked her why she didn't say or do anything about it, she stated, "I just didn't want to make a big deal out of it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 119

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 355

You deserved it 107 042

The Top

Today, I decided to declutter my closet and donate old clothes. Proud of my altruism, I packed everything into bags and drove to the donation center. As I handed over the bags, the volunteer looked at me sympathetically and said, "We're not accepting donations right now." So not only did I just Marie Kondo my wardrobe, I also managed to be a one-person traffic jam for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 129

Today, I was denied acceptance to The University of Georgia. I was down all day so I decided to go to a party my friend was throwing. Thinking it would cheer me up, as soon as I arrive all I see is colleges on shirts, hats, and sweatshirts, most being UGA. It was a college acceptance party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 063

You deserved it 7 857

Today, a lady at the clothing store told me to, “Stop speaking 'Mexicano', this is America!” when I was talking on the phone. I actually speak Portuguese. When I pointed this out, she verbally tortured me and threatened to, “Call the cops” if I didn’t leave her store for, “making her feel threatened.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 148

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 111

You deserved it 2 779

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 227

You deserved it 3 029

Today, my self-esteem sank so low that I sabotaged my workplace's corporate network, then fixed it, just so I could feel needed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 699

You deserved it 7 437