Today, I thought that an ingenious way to protest against high tuition prices would be to steal a box of soymilk from my university dining hall. The box exploded in my backpack. Not only did I lose all my soymilk, I now have to replace my $120 calculator. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stole a classmate’s graphic calculator because I couldn’t afford one. She reported it missing to the professor. He wouldn’t let anyone leave class until it turned up. Not even saying I had diarrhea had him let me go. In fact, he told me to empty my backpack right there and then. I’m suspended. FML
Today, while getting ice cream with a friend, her car got broken into. Nothing was taken except my backpack, which contained assignments making up 50% or more for grades in four separate classes. FML
Today, I started at a new college. I bought my textbooks and went to my first class only to find out that they changed my schedule without telling me. I'd already opened the book. I could not get $200 back. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML
Today, after months of living on five dollars a day for food in college, I found out my parents bought me an expensive meal plan and forgot to mention it. FML
Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML
Today, school tuition has taken up so much of my paycheck that the only thing I had to eat for dinner was applesauce. FML
Today, I checked my university financial account to discover I owed them over $1000. The reason? They had apparently given me too much money when I applied for a loan and now want it back. Oh, and I spent my loan money on books and a laptop for school. FML
Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML
Today, I had to spend all of my money on textbooks even though my refrigerator is empty. Starving and frustrated, I called home to ask for money for groceries. My mom told me I could afford to skip a few meals. FML
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Top comments
Barriaultcory 16
Worst protest ever
Dracoboxer357 36
Right. Because one form of stealing justifies another petty one. :p At least the university Told you their prices before you went, and you Still made the choice to go. No matter how I look at this, it's still your fault, sorry. ;p
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Comments (120)
Barriaultcory 16
Worst protest ever
boating_guy 33
who steals soy milk anyway? at least steal good milk
zomgbies 17
Yeah, steal from the school. That way theyvll see the error of their ways and lower tuition. Oh wait, they'll just jack up tuition even more to cover the losses from theft. Schmuck.
thebomb553 5
Bet he didn't calculate that into his plans
airforce987 20
As bad as it sounds I do this all the time. I take a cookie or brownie from the bakery shelf and stick it in my pocket and walk out. For all the money I pay the school the least they can do is not make me pay for a $1.50 cookie or a $0.25 roll
evilplatypus 39
Gotta love entitled jackasses.
ohgeejosee 19
Two wrongs don't make a right!
juwood 7
83 had better get more thumbs up. That may be the first well thought out joke I have seen here.
JennaNGood 21
Clearly OP is from Quebec... A box of Soymilk is about the cost of their tuition anyways.
kazrron 5
people at my school steal food all the time -.- they walk away infront of all the athorities and no one says anything and im just having a spasm
tjv3 10
YDI stealing is wrong
lufkum 4
i bet your from AB or SK# 130 but we re highest taxed province so who care of low tuitition
JennaNGood 21
Ontario actually, and from the way you're spelling... It is quite clear that you don't have any use for tuition.
CloudKumo 12
Nobody's forcing you to take your child to school. You could always just homeschool them.
Dracoboxer357 36
Right. Because one form of stealing justifies another petty one. :p At least the university Told you their prices before you went, and you Still made the choice to go. No matter how I look at this, it's still your fault, sorry. ;p
Bloink 25
College price goes down to 0 if you're kicked out!
\ 28
Two wrongs don't make a right.
Cory123125 3
Not really because you would still have to had pay for that year and previous ones
PureGhost 11
Really??? Trying to steal milk? We have no future then
Thunderstruck14 30
Worse than milk, it was soymilk!
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I could almost think passed it if it was that delicious almond milk, but soy milk? Really? I would have taken like 10 of those little cartons of strawberry milk they give you in school.. I miss those little cartons..
Bloink 25
Ha, that's what you get for stealing
wiccaantje 21
1) How is it a protest if no one knows about it? 2) If giving people a free box of soya-milk would make them stop complaining, then they would take that deal without a second. You didn't hurt them one bit. 3) Really? A felony as a protest? How about the risk of getting kicked out, just for a box of soya-milk?
efettes 19
Stealing soy milk is a felony?.. Or did I misunderstand you
Dracid 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
stealing is stealing durrrr of course its a felony. even if its a small one
Senseless_487 29
Wrong. Depending on the value of the item you steal, it can range from misdemeanor to felony.
doodlecloud 27
I don't think it was actually meant as a protest, it's just creative wording. It's more likely that OP wanted milk, didn't have enough money or wouldn't have had much left over had he bought it, thought about stealing it instead and 'justified' their actions by reminding themselves that the reason they didn't have much money was because they were having to pay ridonkulous amounts of tuition fees.
Octwo 16
Burglary is a misdemeanor, not a felony. Robbery is a felony, there's a big difference.
Senseless_487 29
There are other categories, too. Petty theft, theft, grand theft.
efettes 19
Be that as it may, I find it highly unlikely that a college would pursue such a petty "crime"
Jessa91 10
No I'm pretty sure it's a misdemeanor. A box of soy milk isn't exactly grand larceny
Koios 30
#82 Burglary can be either a felony or misdemeanor depending on whether it's first or second degree burglary.
Ilikepie82479 20
#88, "Grand Theft Soy Milk"
sebmarks 1
So stealing one box of milk was going to make a difference? C'mon OP really?
Voij 16
Well, obviously, you just need to follow the chaos theory: One box of soy milk missing will cause the math student to pick the one next to it, which unfortunately hasn't been refridgerated correctly. He'll get an upset stomach, which will cause him to miss the study session he planned for the next exam. His studying partner will then be affected enough to not study aswell, causing him to fail the exam, which will lead to his parents taking him out of school. His little sister will be upset about him coming back and vent to her best friend, who will be annoyed by this and gets abusive towards her pet dog. The dog will bite his owner when he returns home from work, who will yell at his co-worker the next day. The co-worker was fired that same day, which is why he'll snap and drive his car into the river to commit suicide. The news of this death will distract another car driver, who was listening to the radio, for long enough so that he crashes into a lantern on the college's campus, leaving it permanently out of angle, but not enough to warrant repairment immediately. 2 weeks later, a bird will land on said lantern, bringing it out of balance which causes it to crash into a window nearby, leaving the college to pay for the damages. An insanely nefarious plan, if I may say so myself.
Axipiter 24
Holy **** my side hurts! Well thought out and original, a pleasure to read! -The New York Times
Avenueoftrees 15
Best thing I've read all year!
Obey_StudBoii 23
Holy crap lol how did you come up with that? Evil Genius I must say
imabassist 23
cancels out?
seacadet 18
well, I'm Soywy that happened, But you shouldn't milk the situation, and deal with it.
Bano360 25
I'm going home after that comment :(
emirie 21
I giggled
yoshiyakiryu 20
It's a shame those high tuition fees don't pay for common sense.
blackonblight 33
If only common sense could be taught, or failing that, purchased.
mybubbles2000 13
Nice one!
Axipiter 24
Or stolen.
Cristian89 29
That's karma for ya
Ashamed_Sister 60
Yes, karma is a bitch.