Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and proceeded to blow on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50829) - you totally deserved it (12764)
On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)
my ex-gfl didn't know how to give me head she would lick it...for an hour till I said "ok ok that's enough!"
LOL! is she like 10 years old, and doesn't know exactly what a blowjob is?
but that's sort of cute how she's innocent. n____n
how does anyone in the world NOT know how to give head?!
you need a new gf.
#4 - On 04/11/2009 at 6:05am by youaresofucked
5 I was born in 1996 but I'm not all goody good so don't go stereotypin' k because not all 14 year olds are ritards
So she's innocent and doesn't know what one is. Surely that's better than a girlfriend that has had an aweful lot of sex.
Stop being a whiney boy and get over the fact that she doesn't know how to give you head. Jeez.
haha! LOOOOOOOOL! Are you serious?! Give her this book as a present! tiny.cc/BHO5r
JUST IN CASE she doesn't know what HAND-job is! haha..
#5 & #8 are HILARIOUS! haha ;)
#9 - On 04/11/2009 at 6:22am by Cookie_kaioo
This is the perfect opportunity to teach her a thing or two about blowjobs. I think you've got a keeper.
#12 - On 04/11/2009 at 6:33am by elfuzzo
Man that's totally what I thought a blowjob was until like a year ago when my boyfriend told me otherwise! lol...Although I at least asked what to do first before looking like an idiot and blowing on it
She might be really young. I had no idea what a blowjob was for part of my time in high school. We aren't born knowing these things after all.
What happened to communication though for fuck's sake? TALK TO YOUR PARTNER. Actually you know what...don't. More business for me. ;)
#5 is great. 13 is a fucking idiot. even is she did blow while giving him an actual blow job, no air would get in your dick and you would not die. some people are so dumb. teach that bitch how to take a cock like a champ.
LOL @ 13.
You're an idiot. She didn't try to blow up his cock like a fucking baloon. even if she tried too it wouldn't cause an air bubble to enter the blood stream and kill him you dumb fuck.
OP:
that is sooooo funny LOL.
#21 - On 04/11/2009 at 7:08am by AtoZnumbersand_
Ah, this somewhat reminds me of a co-worker I knew that didn't even know what a blow job was, and she was 17 at the time. At least the OP's girlfriend knew that it involved the penis...
No, this is not in any way an FML. It's you being a whiny wanker. Come back when she bites it off by accident. Then I might agree with you.
#28 - On 04/11/2009 at 7:33am by penguinfury
#7 I would rather have a gf that knows what she's doing (because she had alot of sex) then one that doesnt have a clue what to do with a penis. Virgins are overrated.
Today, my bf asked me to give him a blowjob, and as I didn't know due to me not being a whore that's taken many cocks in my mouth, I screwed up. He then announced my innocent mistake to the whole world as a FML. FML.
that's what you get for trying to have a sexual relationship with a minor.
#31 - On 04/11/2009 at 7:44am by dz_zb
Provided you're older than 16; which i doubt seeing as your girlfriend doesn't know what a "blowjob" is; but should you both be over 16. You get all of this girls innocence; indulge in knowing the way you like it is going to be the way she does it; cause it'll be all her first time.
I'm just trying to see the positives here.
At least she's all yours; and isn't a whore.
No experience? Make some experience then; she had your grimy little penis in her mouth; the girl likes you!
Jesus. Whiny little bitch.
#32 - On 04/11/2009 at 7:57am by Mattyknows
i that a FML ??? Are you serious? #28 is right, you're a whiny wanker !!
Talk to her instead of putting your dick in her mouth expecting something great from her !
And I don't think you master cunnilingus either.
crocodile cock!!!!!!!!!!
mr. wooden alligator rule bitch
wwwwwwwwoooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww
#37 - On 04/11/2009 at 8:15am by belibelaba
You're an idiot for thinking that's a FML. You have an innocent girl who obviously hasn't been giving it away to half the neighborhood you should be grateful not complaining about her to the internet population.
#38 - On 04/11/2009 at 8:18am by LuckyCharms
how the hell is that an fml? i'm sorry but uh not everyone is familiar with the term 'blow job'
#40 - On 04/11/2009 at 8:33am by youswallow
To everyone saying #13 is an idiot- I think he/she was making an attempt at humor via sarcasm... It didn't necessarilly work, but no one's dumb enough to think that would be true
okay, i'm pretty sure #2 was JOKING, so stop bashing them about being stupid and young. 1996 could mean anything, and even if it did mean they were born then and 13 years old, i definitely knew what a blow job was when i was 13 so that doesn't make them stupid.
otherwise, that is pretty funny, but hey, then you can teach her to do it exactly how you like it.
#43 - On 04/11/2009 at 8:40am by starvingxartist
My friend got his girlfriend to "suck his dick" in which she proceeded to put it in her mouth and suck.
Suck really hard.
He said it was like she was trying to suck the cum out =/
The people who are saying that this is his opportunity to teach how it's done are horrible.
OP: That's pretty funny. Let her know what a BJ is.
ahah i thought she was actually being snotty and sarcastic.. kinda like.. doing it literally to make you feel stupid for asking her lol..
#47 - On 04/11/2009 at 8:56am by summertimeblues
Is she young? Or was she being sarcastic? That's what you get if you ask for a blow job. Especially if you have been "dating" in middle school or something.
HEY atleast she tried. LMAO.
But.. You should've told her what a blow job was.. before she did it
lmao..
i woulda been like "STOPPPP BLOWING ON MY DICKK!" lmao
#50 - On 04/11/2009 at 9:01am by Expirational
#2 are you joking? i knew wat a blow job was wen i was like nine?
#52 - On 04/11/2009 at 9:13am by hawaiianxpunchx3
Regardless of age, not everyone knows what that is. Family culture is HUGE (although, you're more likely to run into that at 15 than you are at 30)
I just hope you gently explained to her what you liked/wanted done. If she were more of a licker than a sucker (or visa versa), I would see this as simialr - say waht you like/want. Expect/respect when she does the same when YOU are doing oral. if she declined, I hope you said, "OK" and din't pressure her. Obviously, I hope she doesn't pressure you to do what you don't want. Just as long as it is even (a girl should not go down on a guy who will not go down on her and visa versa).
#56 - On 04/11/2009 at 9:23am by everythingtold
When i was younger i didnt know what head meant, when everyone joked about someone getting head i just laughed along. I was like 10 though, my mother was not pleased when i asked her haha
#57 - On 04/11/2009 at 9:25am by countrygal926
Thats the funniest thing I've heard all day.
Thank you for making me laugh like theres no tommarow.
:]
Blow job is actually kind of a stupid name for it... it logically should be called mouth job or throat job or something.
#60 - On 04/11/2009 at 9:30am by robvicious
BY THE WAY MY DATE IS WHEN I GRADUATED FROM UNIVERSITY AND I MISRED IT!!!!
#61 - On 04/11/2009 at 9:31am by beechy1996
Sounds like a good thing to me. Don't ask her again until she's 18!
#64 - On 04/11/2009 at 9:36am by knowitall
Eh, on the bright side, at least you know no one else's been in there before you. Teach that girl.
#75 - On 04/11/2009 at 10:09am by Emrysa
I didn't know what a blow job was till I was 16. One of my guy friends explained what it was. A few months later I did it for the first time but I still wasn't sure if I had to blow on it LOL now I've got a lot more experience. But I think it's cute that she doesn't know. I think she shouldve asked. Try talking to her and don't get too upset just cause she can't give you head.
after going through at least one month of high school the word blow job comes up and its a common term
Wow. And LOL to the guy that said "at least it's not a bite job."
To the people who's the grammar cops, I only read this from a sidekick, and it's easy to make typos. There's a difference between typos and being illiterate with your dictions. Stop acting like you're einstein for being able to correct words.
Congratulations?
To OP: lololol. You're not whining. You're just on fmylife and just made a story that made my morning. :] your girl's awesome.
#72, you know that's not really his girl right? You know that on basically EVERY FML, someone thinks it's hilarious to try and reword the op into something mildly amusing that nobody ever laughs at because it's never funny and always fake? Yeah, you're way to gullible...
#80 - On 04/11/2009 at 10:17am by Sure_Thing
I learned what giving head meant on cokemusic when I was 11 XD
#81 - On 04/11/2009 at 10:19am by Bear_Sandwich
In your girl's defense she sounds innocent and it is called a blowjob. If you weren't learned in the sexual arts I could see how that may be confusing. Should have asked her to suck you off since that's what actually happens. Plus be thankful that she's innocent. You can help mold her into a dirty girl.
I think you're ridiculous for thinking this is an FML. So you girlfriend isnt a slut? Stop being so selfish as to think that every girl is born knowing how to give a BJ. If you actually loved your girl, you teach her instead of whining about it on the internet. Go get yourself a blow up doll you ass.
That's actually kind of cute on some level haha : ]
My best wishes with the explanation and subsequently the lesson you're going to have to give her D:
#84 - On 04/11/2009 at 10:25am by 14hatemachine
Hmm, well I don't get why you're whining about it so much or why you're so shocked she didnt know what a blowjob was. chicks dont have testosterone and dont constantly think about sex 24/7 and have their whole world revolve around getting laid. jeez you should be happy you even had someone willing to do it, especially considering that you're probably like 13.
Shut up and get over it.
hahah and amen to #83
it's sorta funnyi guess. but cut her some slack?? c'mon guys and girls i knew a lot of people even at a young age that know what a fucking bj is. unless the poster's like 5, well...i guess you can see where i'm going with this. and #5 FTW!!
omg that is so hilarious hahahaha....number 5 is so funny.
#94 - On 04/11/2009 at 10:46am by someone18x
Talk about a good teaching opportunity!
And you know, she might have to do it literally DOZENS of times before she gets it right.
And don't forget to have HER teach YOU to "go down" too...
Try to keep the smug grin off your face in front of your/her parents though...
#97 - On 04/11/2009 at 10:48am by Paulspacefdot
FYL? yo girl is willing to give you a bj and is willing to learn how you like it. All you have to do is communicate.
#98 - On 04/11/2009 at 10:49am by Alex_DeLarge
Aww. Poor girl. Hopefully you're mature enough to kindly explain why no, it wasn't good.
#100 - On 04/11/2009 at 11:01am by tiedyejedi
Lmao! #30, FYL!!
Whoever made this FML, you should make sure your gf hasn't heard of FMyLife before posting something so specific.
It took her a year and a half to blow you and she didn't even know how? F*ck HER life as well, man. What a fail
90, girls actually DO have testosterone. Just not that much, usually.
OP: hahaha nice. But now you can teach her how to do it the way you want her to :)
#105 - On 04/11/2009 at 11:28am by GoMeat4103
Maybe she knows what it is, but didn't want to do it, so she took a cute/silly/clever way out.
#107 - On 04/11/2009 at 11:36am by FunWriter20
In case she ever asks you to eat her pussy grab a knife & fork and a Tabasco sauce, 'cause you always like it that way...
#108 - On 04/11/2009 at 11:37am by Blanadestroyer
tell her i think its time for her to do a quick wikihow search
#111 - On 04/11/2009 at 11:59am by ChrisFrancia
In over a hundred people, almost nobody considered the fact that she probably knew what it was?
Seriously.
Look at the wording.
"give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and proceeded to blow on my penis."
If she didn't know what a blow job was, how the hell would she know it involves his dick? The blow part I get, but job does not equal dick.
Honestly, did no one else think that much?!?
#112 - On 04/11/2009 at 12:07pm by metalyoshi9
So she doesn't know what one is.... at least she's willing to do it, and, by asking you if it was good, wants to get it right. So just tell her. What's the big deal? Talk her through it, she'll learn. Communication is key.
An innocent girl is more fun to mess around with, plus you can be sure they're clean.
#114 - On 04/11/2009 at 12:23pm by Nakedsquirrel
People that are saying you need a new GF are freaking dumb. Seriously, relationships aren't about just sex. Obviously he must love her if he's been with her so long. At least she was willing to do it. And her not knowing how just shows that she's NOT a slut! How awful to have a gf whose willing to try new things with you, and ISN'T a slut.
YDI for having a stupid gf. How old are you? If you're 13, that's fine...but any older than 16, that's kind of sad. And #115, psychologically, sex plays a large part in relationships. Humans are wired to seek sexually compatible mates. Depending on his age, he might actually need either a new girlfriend or to gove her some "lessons". I'm 17, and that shit would NEVER fly with my (now ex-) boyfriend.
#118 - On 04/11/2009 at 12:56pm by ChinyereCouture
Hahahaha this made my afternoon. That's hilarious.
But what is up with everyone assuming you need to be a slut to know how to give a blowjob? I didn't give one until I was 17, but I knew what it was by the time I was like...11 or 12. OP, how old are you guys?? If you're too young to understand what it is, you're too young to be doing it.
#119 - On 04/11/2009 at 1:27pm by lnm701
it took me a whileeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee to figure out what was wrong with the story.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAA your girlfriend failed!
#120 - On 04/11/2009 at 1:28pm by rawblerawble
I can see this as being genuine. I had a friend who thought a blow job was literally this, and didn't understand why guys liked the thought of it so much.
Quit your bitching, boy! You asked for a sexual favour and your girl obliged without a second thought. If you aren't man enough to explain it to her (or if you are selfish enough that you asked for something without offering something in return, if you follow me) then you're not man enough to deserve a woman as giving as that! Or, alternatively, if you're not mature enough to explain it on a basic sex ed level, you shouldn't be getting jiggy with it in the first place.
Plus, you know, she could have just thought it was gross and not wanted to partake in it :P
Also... you never clarified... Did you 'enjoy' it? :P
#123 - On 04/11/2009 at 1:32pm by judgeymcjudge
Well OP, you are the perfect position to teach an innocent girl how to do all the vile things you want. That in itself is fun, and in the long run it will still be better than dating a girl who is an expert because she has been with 300 guys.
ok i'm really suprised that more people haven't picked up on the year and a half! i'm sorry but if you haven't got it in that long u fail epically.
ok i'm really suprised that more people didnt pick up on the YEAR AND A HALF! if you didn't get it in that long you fail epically and it's not a fyl cause you just suck.
hahaah ... this is funny.
it reminds me of that book "looking for alaska" this exact same thing happens, but the guy duznt know what a blowjob is either, so he thinks that's what supposed 2 happen. ahahha . good book. sad though.
#128 - On 04/11/2009 at 1:39pm by choppedNskrewed
Well, if you're not a dick, explain the process to her. If you're considerate and kind, you two could have a lot of fun learning together.
And since you sound like you might have had prior experience, get tested.
#131 - On 04/11/2009 at 1:48pm by FoundManyLemons
#112
watching mtv or comedy cental for 10 minutes can teach you that a blow job involves a dick. If we knew how old hey were, it would be a lot easier to figure out whether she knew what it was or just didnt want to
i agree with everyone here, hes a whiny little bitch.
i dont get how this is an FML
#30 haha
#135 - On 04/11/2009 at 2:15pm by yumyum_isacult
#127 I love that book!
OP: That, pardon the pun, sucks. Just tell her what it really means, and if she freaks out about it, dump her.
#137 - On 04/11/2009 at 2:16pm by Hummingbird114
its all good. at least she hasn't cheated on you in the past year and a half.
and #2 is probably the same girl as the OP's girl
#139 - On 04/11/2009 at 2:29pm by fuckmylife431413
So show/tell her what to do. How can you expect someone to know how to please you if you haven't shown her how? The only reason that any girl knows what she's doing down there is because someone made the effort to show her. It only takes a little bit of work to turn a novice into an expert.
In fact, it might be better for you this way because she has no preconceptions about how to do it, so you can show her exactly what you want.
All the guys on here who say they'd rather have someone more "experienced" are just lazy, IMO. And the same goes for any girl who expects their guy to be a pro without telling them what they want.
LMFAO
at least she does what you ask her to... as far as she knows
i really want to know what happened next...
haha i get it now. i guess im the asshole, fyl (comment #134 edit)
#144 - On 04/11/2009 at 2:51pm by yumyum_isacult
Lol someone took it too literally; that's cuute thought atleast you know that your girl isn't a BJ whore. I don't think this is a FML at all.
You have to start somewhere and if she doesn't know teach her. Gta give her props for even blowing on your peen. -high five-
#147 - On 04/11/2009 at 3:17pm by lowcapacityx
#2 she BLOWED on it, like an air bubble, like blowing on hot soup kind of blowing
Wow, she must be either 10 years old, or an intense Mormon . . . .poor girl
either your gf is innocent, or she has a good sense of humor. Either way, stop being such a bitch about not getting a blowjob.
#151 - On 04/11/2009 at 3:42pm by 1NinjaPaper1
I'd be embarrassed if I was you, but she's also innocent, so you gotta explain what a blowjob is to her.
I'd be so embarrassed if I was her, after hearing what a blowjob is!
#158 - On 04/11/2009 at 4:33pm by cautionless
lol. thats funny. but u do have yourself a keeper.
#160 - On 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm by permission2laugh
Hahaha. That girl is so innocent. You shoulda said yes, just for fun. :)
#161 - On 04/11/2009 at 4:45pm by doomfromheaven
lol I'm number 13
I was wondering how offended you guys would get and, sure enough, nothing brings out passion better than the internet.
Good job. At least one of you got it.
Fatal blow of air through the urethra that induces death. Srsly, I don't know how you can read that and not laugh.
You people that are saying how his life is only fucked because he didn't get a blowjob from his girlfriend before now are ridiculous. You don't need sex to have a good relationship.
I hope some of you know that #30 isn't rlly his girlfriend..someone is just saying what it would be like if SHE uploaded on this site..
#171 - On 04/11/2009 at 6:24pm by bella_brasil
ANDD What girls have isn't testosterone...its something like it but it is not like the boys.
#172 - On 04/11/2009 at 6:29pm by bella_brasil
To quote Stewie Griffin: "It's like she's fucking 5!"
#173 - On 04/11/2009 at 6:33pm by djtelekinesis
Wow. She's got to be about 11 years old if she doesn't know what that is. Easy tiger. Try picking someone a little less illegal next time. :P
#174 - On 04/11/2009 at 6:42pm by Victoria2103
my gf was tought how to give a blowjob(by yours truly). you just got work on it with her and teach how to take it like candy
#178 - On 04/11/2009 at 8:37pm by hi_people430
this is the beauty of the situation, because now you can teach her and you can tell her all the thing you like and she cant really get offended for doing bad because she doesnt know!
Ha ha, for some reason, that sounds hilariously cute to me.
Well I personally don't see this as a FML nor a YDI. You have an inexperienced (and thus, innocent >:])girlfriend, I'd take that over a slut any day.
Haha,
Aww, she's innocent... and probably blonde [as am I]!
Just bare with her... shouldn't be that big of a deal if you've already spent a year and a half with her!
#172 Ummmm, girls have estrogen and testosterone =P
#187 - On 04/11/2009 at 10:48pm by Sleepwalker418
looks like shes a virgin, lol wait till you rip that "lower part" and she starts to walk like a penguin
looks like shes a virgin, lol wait till you rip that "lower part" and she starts to walk like a penguin
So it's your opportunity to teach her. Be supportive, no need to make fun of her for this. And if you are complaining about her ability to give you oral sex, you better be damn good at doing it for her!
dude, I bet she knows how to give head. maybe she just has an awesome, sarcastic evil sense of humor like me.
#191 - On 04/12/2009 at 12:21am by luanamendes
#3 is right. Lol she BLEW AIR ON IT. I'm guessing that's what he means.
Look up while doing it and going deep and attnteion to theheadis really good.
Ask to fuck her face instead. that outta teach her lol
#193 - On 04/12/2009 at 1:46am by xsouldeath
huh??? how is ur like fucked if she said it was good???
#195 - On 04/12/2009 at 9:49am by average_girl
TIP: don't ever ever ever ask her for a cleveland steamer.........or an angry dragon (not that you ask for either of those but still...)
#197 - On 04/12/2009 at 1:21pm by choppedNskrewed
Your writing style suggests to me that you and your girlfriend can't be much older than 12. In which case, I don't blame her for not knowing.
That's sort of cute. FYL for being in such an awkward situation. Just talk her through it next time. Lol. You have to learn this stuff from somewhere.
#201 - On 04/12/2009 at 1:59pm by Loverfli
#196 i know what blowjob is.. i just didnt get what he meant at first when he wrote this.. did she actually blow air on his penis?
#202 - On 04/12/2009 at 2:28pm by average_girl
#196 i know what a blowjob is.. i just didnt get what he meant when i first read this.. so shes actually blew air on his penis?.. alright i didnt catch that at first so dont think ur smarter than me (ignore comment #202.. i messed up)
#204 - On 04/12/2009 at 2:33pm by average_girl
y it it that she has to be innocent to not know what a bj is? i know several girls who have had sex.... a lot of sex, but have never given a bj
#205 - On 04/12/2009 at 2:38pm by randomcrazyshit
There is a difference between not knowing what a blow job is, and just not giving them or having never given one.
I can say, from experience, I didn't fail my first time; quite the opposite actually, and that was before I'd ever had sex.. so it can go either way but I don't think it really matters if she didn't know what it was or how to do it, we all have our areas of expertise and apparently her's has nothing to do with oral.
#206 - On 04/12/2009 at 3:12pm by breaksprinter_
Lame FML.
I think she knew what a bj was, but was just messing with you.
#207 - On 04/12/2009 at 3:48pm by marycjones
well wouldnt you rather her not know what to do then to have her be a expert b/c she gave so many guys bj?
#208 - On 04/12/2009 at 3:57pm by NicGstfsn23
agreed with #38. she's cute and innocent, just let her know what she has to do exactly. she'll probably feel embarrassed, but it's nice to know that she was willing to comply with something that you wanted.
no what's fucked up is your telling everyone about it on fml! ur a dick!
#212 - On 04/12/2009 at 9:05pm by photofreak1989
If she's not like, a little girl, that's actually kind of cute. Hahaha, at least now you know what you're dealing with.
No, what's messed up is your telling everyone on fml! you deserve to be single. and if you have to ask...she doesn't want to!
#214 - On 04/12/2009 at 9:07pm by photofreak1989
You deserved that one, and u probably shouldnt announce it to the world, albeit it is quite funny
#215 - On 04/12/2009 at 9:30pm by unlucky_chap
I bet she was being ironic, just because you asked.
Really guys, dont ask.. we girls think it is pathetic!!!
#216 - On 04/12/2009 at 9:46pm by maggiewalters
sad. how old is she...? I'm 14 years old and I know what it is. I've done it too.
#217 - On 04/12/2009 at 10:35pm by ohlordy_12
Not at all # 7, the more sex a girls had the better she knows how to work your junk by the time she gets around to you. I'll take the town bike over unpicked cherries any day of the week.
well why do they call it a blow job then? like im in high school and i have tons of guys wanting to hook up with me but i dont know exactly hw to give a blow job still so I dont do anything with them.
#220 - On 04/13/2009 at 1:28am by blonde_cutie
i hope you told her how...that poor girl must have been embarrassed. lol. maybe a lil sex ed is in need...
first of all... how old are you guys?? and second, you've been together a year and a half and have never attempted a blow job before??
#222 - On 04/13/2009 at 2:05pm by Common_Sense
are you saying she hadn't given you oral and it had been a year and half! WOW
#224 - On 04/13/2009 at 7:44pm by CHOOKEN
#2 was right to be confused, lol. Until I read the comments, I was really confused with this FML. I thought OP meant she gave him the blowjob and wanted to know if it was good. Then reading the comments I realized she blew air on his penis. FYL indeed, OP.
This is why you don't ASK for a blow job. It should come naturally from the girl, or you can learn how to hint it... but never ask.
why are you complaining? she is obvously innosent.... if u teach her, she will also develop her own techniques....
i had to learn how to at some time in my life as well, cause its not like i was born knowing how to give a bj
#229 - On 04/14/2009 at 9:59pm by collegegirl30
that's cute, don't be a douchebag and act like this is FML-worthy. be glad she hasn't been around the block.
#230 - On 04/15/2009 at 12:25am by alotta_fachina
hahah this is so unfortunate.. but it opens up the window for you to tell her how to give you the perfect bj. with some practice it'll be amazing cuz shes learning the way you like it.
#231 - On 04/15/2009 at 1:33pm by fuckmylife5
give the poor girl a break, she didn't know, give her some tips
and then you'll get it the way you like it
#232 - On 04/15/2009 at 5:50pm by Beautiful12345
Lol, I don't think anyone noticed #30.
"Today, my bf asked me to give him a blowjob, and as I didn't know due to me not being a whore that's taken many cocks in my mouth, I screwed up. He then announced my innocent mistake to the whole world as a FML. FML"
Wowwww!
#234 thats most likely NOT his gf. yes, the OP is a douche but #30 is probably just some person saying what his gf WOULD say.
#235 - On 04/15/2009 at 8:59pm by iEnjoy3_14
#30 is stupid. Since when has knowing how to give a blowjob classified someone as a whore whose taken many cocks in the mouth. and Secondly "announced my mistake to the world?" with 6 billion or so people in the world and no names somehow i think it'd be pretty challenging to know who this anonymously submitted FML is about.
LOL - I enjoyed this FML so much that when my boyfriend asked for a blowjob i did the same thing, we both had a good laugh, as far as im concerned the girl is a genius for playing innocent!!!!
#239 - On 04/18/2009 at 9:59pm by BBMountain
Ha ha i know how you feel. My girlfriend of 6 months gave me a blowjob for the first time. She performed 10 seconds of oral and then stopped instantly and layed down face first on the bed, she looked upset. I immediately asked what was wrong? She said in a pissed off voice "im pissed because i dont want to get pregnant". She seriously thought she could get pregnant from oral sex FML.
#240 - On 04/20/2009 at 9:51pm by RyanHPants
#240, WOW....make sure you don't let that girl EVER reproduce. I hope she was kidding/
OP: I think your girlfriend was just being a smart ass....If not, you should just guide her. You have to start somewhere. At least she was willing to try it.
.....oh man xD
either she's a stereotypically dumb blonde... or she's being added to my list of favourite people that FML is producing for me xD
HAHAHA!!
heh i used to think thats what a blowjob was too. i thought it was litterally blowing on the guys penis. i dont know why they casll it a blowjob :/
#248 - On 04/30/2009 at 7:59pm by CourtneeMalakian
ok #245 and #244
she is NOT a whore for giving one and what makes u think she is lying? i gave my first blowjob at 14 years old. ur just jealous because ur probably much older and u have never given one, probably cuz no guy would want ur motuh on their penis
#249 - On 04/30/2009 at 8:01pm by CourtneeMalakian
for all u people thinking that giving a blowjob is being a 'whore', it's NOT
wow i sucked one guys dick and im automatically a whore? if everytime i sucked his dick, it was someone elses, then YES id be a whore, but ive only sucked his
so people, seriously, STFU with all the steriotypes and shit
its really annoying
#250 - On 04/30/2009 at 8:05pm by CourtneeMalakian
holyshit.
#30
shit his girlfriend commented
this shit !
damn. how embarrasing.
but imust admit it wouldd be funny
but he shouldn't of announced it !
ha.
It would be awesome if she was being a smart ass about it; but still if she's really that innocent you've got a lot of teaching to do
well what can I say; enjoy the experience and have fun learning together!
#254 - On 05/13/2009 at 1:29am by Isotopic_alloy
249... yes it actually DOES make u a whore if u r involved w/ any sexual activity b4 marriage. it doesnt even matter if uve only done it 2 one guy. :-/ smarty pants.
i pledged 2 be abstinent till marriage. and it turns out i am turning 15 next month.. so, yeah, im not some 65 year old virgin whos nvr had a bf. go 2 sex ed and learn something and dont be so obnoxious 2 ppl on the internet.
#256 - On 05/17/2009 at 3:19pm by average_girl
Listen people. Just because you have sex / engage in sexual activity (oral sex, foreplay, masturbation) before marriage does NOT mean your a whore or slut or whatever! It just means you want to find out what your getting into (pun intended) BEFORE it's too late. To find out what it's like, to not sit there like an idiot the night of your marriage and say "What am I supposed to do now?". PEOPLE should not tell OTHERS what to do. If a couple wants to have sex and get a disease or get pregnant, THEN LET THEM BE! Just cause you f'ed up on your OWN life doesn't mean you have to do the same to other people's.
#257 - On 05/24/2009 at 2:43pm by spidergirl41
Ohhhhhhh.... That took me a while to get... I think I made the same mistake #2 might have made, I didn't see the "blow ON" part...
#259 - On 05/31/2009 at 2:40am by qetzacoatl122112
#257 I have never agreed on a post as much as yours.
#256 Your the biggest idiot I have ever met. You reek of illiteracy. Get a job you lazy sod, bloody 151 comments. Learn how to spell you tosspot. Abstaining until marriage is the biggest con in the world. If anyone manages it then they have set themselves up for a life of sexual frustration. Having sex before marriage should be done frequently, but other sexual practices are good.
BTW, your pledge will fail, you'll be the one who ends up pregnant after having drunk sex with soem guy you met at a night club.
#256-your a whore if u have sex BEFORE MARRIAGE??
The usual age for having sex is 18 or 19 you prick
#264 - On 06/05/2009 at 9:41pm by scateice
your not a whore if you have sex before marriage. everyone does it. and if you make that gay pledge honestly hun what the fuck does that do for you? after marriage you can be like yay i never had sex until after marriage.? COOOL! no one gives a shit. and did you make that pledge because you're too ugly for anyone to want you.?
She probobly does know what a blow job is, she probobly just didnt wanna give you one...
#268 - On 06/10/2009 at 10:42pm by Marijuana_Dog
LMFAO!! Next time ask for a "suck job"!! Smile Jesus loves you =)
#270 - On 06/22/2009 at 1:06am by lakergurl91
Imagine if she'd taken it really literally and tried to blow your cock up like a balloon XD
*stifles more laughter* This FML made me choke, it was so funny.
I'm sorry, but how can you NOT KNOW what a blowjob is?
And it's making me laugh how angry and defensive people are getting on here.
Fucking hell, it's a blowjob. Get over it XD
Life's too short to argue about what constitutes whoredom.
Chill out, boys and girls. I'm sure we can play together if we just accept that the world doesn't revolve around our own beliefs and opinions ;D
#272 - On 06/29/2009 at 4:18am by kayleighcontrol
Hm....coming from Utah myself, I'll assume that this girl is a Mormon.
Based on my entire lifetime of experience with Mormons, it doesn't surprise me at all that she was serious about that. I'm surprised she even knew that you meant anything sexual when you said "blow job".
*sigh* I'm SO glad I'm out of there!
#275 - On 07/17/2009 at 12:06am by Moonheart50
Haha this is my favorite one i love it so much! FYL ;P I agree with #3 it's kinda cute how she sounds innocent :) I guess you weren't rly lucky ;)
i'd like a gf as innocent as urs (but i dont have one)! whats ur problem?? there was nothing altogether wrong with what she just did ^_^
That is so cute, now you know she is so innocent, so I agree, she's a keeper. (:
#280 - On 08/04/2009 at 1:19pm by SerbianGirl
"oh noes!! I have a pure girl who doesn't know how to give a proper BJ, my life is in ruins!!"
you're dumb OP
#282 - On 08/19/2009 at 8:20pm by IUsed2
YDI for being a disgusting pervert. Oh no, she doesn't want your cock in her mouth. Who can blame her?
#283 - On 08/24/2009 at 3:44am by gummibehrs
Sounds like she hadn't done it before... I need to find myself a mouth virgin. Teach them how to do it just right. ;)
#286 - On 10/19/2009 at 6:36pm by RegisteredNow
so I'm curios, since it's been quite a hike since you posted this, did you stay with her or leave her?
did anyone stop to think maybe she didn't want to give him a bj and decided to use humor or somthing?? that's what I wud have dun he'll I'm not bout to giv anyone a bj I see no point in them.
First off to #290 Zer0_Zer0 I am a man and I hate the Idea of a blow job I had a gf who claimed that was her specialty but I told her that I am not interested, so I am just fine with any woman who refuses to give blow jobs.
Second I made this account just so I could reply to this. I also don't think that this is an FML, it's more like a MGFISTM (My GirlFriend Is Smarter Than Me), or a MGFHSR (My GirlFriend Has Self Respect).
Now to the point; you go girl.
#291 - On 12/24/2009 at 3:56am by BJsSUCKandImAMan
"Today, my boyfriend asked me to give him a blowjob. He pulled his pants down, and me, not knowing what do, proceeded to breath on his penis for a moment. When I looked up to ask if he was pleased, He stared at me like I was crazy. I honestly didn't know. FML."
#293 - On 01/02/2010 at 11:54pm by tacoman007
wow a lot of you people are lame she was most likly being a smart ass duh and really? you people are getting worked over about so girl and guy you don't know wow u people are cool
#295 - On 01/10/2010 at 2:36am by g0o0_dj
haha wow iv'e known what that's meant for years now and i turned 13 last November(:.
i learn from my perverted friends:D
#297 - On 02/02/2010 at 11:01pm by bugsGoRawr
