Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
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Top comments
gigi37 0
Nice job
heyitsbrii 0
lmao!! that is like the funniest mental picture ever haha
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Comments (142)
gigi37 0
Nice job
neonokku 0
At first I read it as if you were a woman
gigi37 0
Um...I am a woman...
popoman 0
Not you, bitch. Don't be so self-centered. "neo" is referring to the original poster. This attention-deficient person just wants his reply to be at the top of the page. I hope he feels better about himself now. To tell you the truth, though, boobs. I know, right? Boobs. It fixes everything.
kushi_fml 1
Once again she is a woman, not a bitch. Bitch.
vikingunicorn 1
I can only echo the wise words expressed to us posters when we are about to comment. "Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful."
gigi37 0
Yes, I knew neonukku was just posting to be at the top of the page, but instead of being the asshole and calling him/her an "attention-deficient", I figured I would call him/her out with a different technique. So sorry that made me self-centered, what on earth was I thinking...(sarcasm in case you couldn't tell) It pains me to see men at your age still acting like moronic teenagers, but if you get your kicks by insulting girls, then fine, whatever.
Arc9 0
Mister popo is a shining example of the "Greater Internet Dickwad Theory" ([Internet+Anonimity]-Age) x People in audience = Dickwad level. Our dear colleague popo appears to be around the OMFGWHATSTHISDOUCHEBAGSFUCKINGPROBLEMFUCKHIMHESHOULDBEBANZORZ level of dickwadery. And gigi, Why would the fairer sexe be involved in these pathetic male frustration vents known as FMLs?
hockeychic156 0
hahaha yeah this person has waaaaaaay too much free time hahaha but it made me laughh!!
LolAtYourFail 12
calm down guys o.o
Brendan3693 0
83s comment and icon combo...classic
Starfire22 5
This sounds familiar...
ironwords 8
the invention of bear grylls? I think so
ZER0SI6KSSE7EN 0
WIN!!
dangletsbang21 0
your an idiot :)
justdance93 0
I would like to say that YOU'RE an idiot as well.
time4coffee 3
don't breed.
sadistmonkey 19
OH MY GOD I'M SO SMART BECAUSE I CAN IDENTIFY SPELLING ERRORS AND USE THE WORD "IRONY" WHENEVER PEOPLE MISSPELL THINGS DURRRRRRRRRR
UziTopete 0
hey it's a common mistake cause by excessive boredome you get when you piss the same way everyday.. Bullox? I think not!
ChefAwesome 13
you're......idiot.
Unlucky_Gun 0
Obviously people know the difference between "your" and "you're" including me but nobody cares on the internet IDIOT! Just to make your grammar/spelling nazi ass happy, I'll say it right for you. YOU'RE the idiot for actually caring what form of "your" and "you're the person used typing on a website
Playdate 0
Seriously . . . stand MUCH closer, it's far shorter than you think
whataloadofbull 0
well thats when u grab it (gently of course) and use the ascending or descending meter bar, aim, and continue firing.
Cowers05 0
#64- Roflmfao! your post was the best!!! XD
AsianCookie247 14
hahaha :)
SimpleS 0
I seriously hope this was at your house
YourLittleSpies 0
And some stories require no comments ...
heyitsbrii 0
lmao!! that is like the funniest mental picture ever haha
Drago1 0
Would you really piss your self if are falling you would hold it in I am sure. Calling fake on this one.
TheHo 0
...... if you didnt know you were going to fall back why would you clench your penis?
d3ath1snatural 0
Brii is really Cute
ericnx 8
dude how dumb are you?
OverAllOfThis 0
So I'm guessing you're a Kiwi too.... I hope not everyone thinks that we're all like that XD
WougieBougie 0
fake. you dumb ****.
Zer0_Zer0 0
fake. you dumb ****.