Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52040) - you totally deserved it (8180)
On 03/29/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
people take things way too seriously, i'm sure he was just kidding.
#4 - On 03/29/2009 at 7:24pm by happinessNmisery
Wow. Was that in public. if other people heard!!! OUCH!!!!!!
Well at least you'll always have your vaseline!!
#8 - On 03/29/2009 at 7:32pm by chelseybuns
Dude....buy more than one thing! If you just buy Vasaline, it's totally obvious. Buy TP and some slimjims, even if you don't need to....
#11 - On 03/29/2009 at 7:37pm by luvable_loozer
So you ran out of luck for the ladies and thought you would get a head start in preparing for the men?
#20 - On 03/29/2009 at 7:58pm by alucardrules
Hahahahaha I get burned by grocery store ppl all the time. They are vicioussssss
#22 - On 03/29/2009 at 8:03pm by milesthominggale
Lol to cmt #23.
Why not just buy some lube? Figures it would feel a lot better than Vaseline.
#24 - On 03/29/2009 at 8:13pm by lowcapacityx
#17 thats nasty xD
Ah well, at least Willy's getting SOME use hmm?
#25 - On 03/29/2009 at 8:15pm by MukyDaCookie
Once at highschool, as a joke, I went to the store, picked up Maxim, a huge jar of handcream, and some tissues. Everyone laughed so hard one woman face turned red and looked like she was going to nearly pass out. lol.
#26 - On 03/29/2009 at 8:24pm by NorfolkDude
Hahaha aw it's okay. I bought a pregnancy test once and the lady told me that if I wasn't loose I might not need it. I told her to fuck off and she shouldn't bitch at me just cause she can't get laid. Lol.
#29 - On 03/29/2009 at 8:49pm by wat_the_eff
I would have just said "Not having too much luck getting a promotion, eh?" Or something to call him out on it. I work in retail and if I said this to a customer I'd be fired.
#30 - On 03/29/2009 at 9:22pm by SVelasquez
That is totally inappropriate for him to say to a customer. He should be written up for that, at least.
#31 - On 03/29/2009 at 9:30pm by DeeJayD
#28 it's written right there that he did wink. lolwut
Also, man if I was in that situation I wouldn't know what to say, haha.
And then you had sex with the old guy behind the counter, right?
#34 - On 03/29/2009 at 9:36pm by GoPhillies36
the cashier has a boring ass job and to try and make the time pass a little more quickly he jokingly insults a customer or he could have said it out of pity. Believe it or not there are people in this world that can take a joke from a stranger and its no reason to get butt hurt over that happening. The cashier was just being friendly
#35 - On 03/29/2009 at 9:37pm by alucardrules
#21, the word "Vaseline" is in the original post, you don't even have to look it up or anything.
Now, the words "you" and "probably" aren't there, so I'll be a little lenient, but really?
Try harder.
Should have said "I'm gonna have an ANAL sex orgy at my house. Aww, I would've invited you if you can get hard."
Vaseline fails (impossible to clean up, gets tacky), KY fails (tacky). Astroglide is nice but it's a bit watery for my tastes. Silicone-based lubes like Eros are nice, but you can't use them with silicone toys and it's hard to clean up when you're done. "K, I don't need to be a waterslide anymore."
My favorite is Liquid Silk. rawk.
You should have taken a handful of vaseline and serviced his shriveled cock. It would have certainly stopped him from ever making remarks about your purchases in the future.
Maybe you wouldn't have such trouble getting laid if you would actually spend a few extra bucks on real lube. Just saying.
Not that lube will get you laid, but having a tub of vaseline in your bedroom is probably doing you no favors.
#49 - On 03/29/2009 at 11:28pm by zachary918
I have a vaseline story for you, only I was the cashier. This old guy was buying it, and when I went to ring it up the lid came off and my fingers slipped in. I told him that we needed to get him another one. He looked me up and down and said, "No. I want to take this one."
#50 - On 03/29/2009 at 11:37pm by mariposa25
hahahah this made my night! I love crazy old people...they are always so honest...one time my grandpa come into the room while i was on the computer with my friends and goes "you got any porno on those things"
#53 - On 03/30/2009 at 12:12am by sillylilly001
Eww. Vaseline... that's so... thick and gloopy. Why do you need lube at all for manual stimulation?
#56 - On 03/30/2009 at 12:49am by Victoria2103
Hahaha I can so picture this happening... kinda creepy that some old guy said that to you tho....makes you think what he does dunit ;)
Don't believe this one. If someone's not getting lucky and needs a tub of vas, his self-esteem is pretty low as is and is not going to go out and buy a tub of vas. He'll be too self-conscious. C'mon, a tub of vas?
Just go to a read adult toy store and buy some lube. It may feel weird going in, but they don't look at you weird when you checkout. That's what everyone comes for after all.
To all the people saying "you should be snarky back to him" or "you should get him fired" - grow the fuck up. He was clearly just trying to be friendly, although somewhat misguided. Try assuming the best in people for once - it really makes your day better.
Oh, and I second the comments suggesting you buy actual lube. People will assume you will be using it with a girl, not to masturbate.
#63 - On 03/30/2009 at 5:39am by UrLifeDoesntSuck
#29, omg that happened to me once actually, and I wasn't even buying it for me; my friend was too embarrassed to get it for herself. Lucky I came up with the perfect response. I looked at her with a fake shy expression and said "Actually my husband and I have been trying for a baby..." and patted my stomach kind of hopefully. (I was 20 at the time but I looked younger.) She was speechless!
Oh, and OP--what you totally should have done was winked at him and said "nope, actually this IS for her... going to try the back door tonight" HAHA
You disgust me,, lmaoO!
That old man is awesome, haha.
You must look like you gets no punanny! and he was obviously able to tell,, pathetic. >=)
#66 - On 03/30/2009 at 2:13pm by _Coolness_
btw the counter guy had no right to say anything like that
#68 - On 03/30/2009 at 3:40pm by MJ_Alexander
Very sad. Im his girlfriend!
He told me he'd stop this shit..... just because I won't have sex with him doesn't mean he has too....
#70 - On 03/30/2009 at 7:57pm by chelseybuns
Consumer Relations Contact Information
Phone: toll-free (800) 925-4733
7:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Central Time, Monday thru Friday
Address: Walgreen Company Consumer Relations
200 Wilmot Road, Mail Stop #L428
Deerfield, IL 60015
Let Walgreens know about this man's inappropriate behavior towards a customer :)
#72 - On 03/30/2009 at 9:38pm by rschreiber
He would know from experience.....if any you may have given an idea of what to on his next bathroom break.
Use KY dude vaseline is old school and you would have saved yourself the humiliation becasue i'm sure he wouldn't have know what it is .
Didn't read most of this shit, but... You're not supposed to use oil-based lubricants on your penis.
Wow. You all really relate to this FML... that's really sad.
you all have the same problems.... you really need girlfriends.
#79 - On 03/31/2009 at 3:47pm by chelseybuns
Lube is a little less damaging when you get it in places you shouldnt... maybe you should pick that up next time
#83 - On 04/04/2009 at 3:03am by Body_piercer1984
Are we talking a regular sized container or do you actually mean a big tub? Cause that would make it so much funnier XD
#85 - On 04/13/2009 at 12:39pm by KilgoreTrout
ive tried vaseline and I dont think it works very good for anal pleasures....
#90 - On 08/11/2009 at 1:27am by Francis1990
you should've replied back with a joke like "oh it's for your wife" or something
#92 - On 11/03/2009 at 6:36pm by Biohazard808
