Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

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Sucks for you.

I've seen about 20 FML's that are exactly like this one.... We need some original content people!

Curiosity killed the cat.

thats what you get for being nosy

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Big deal, the custom ringtone I have for my wife in Elton John's "The Bitch Is Back."

YDI, Bitch.

Stop nagging, start snagging.

I say "My bitch" all the time, around my girl. She doesn't mind, don't take everything so seriously.

you completely deserve this for looking through his phone. you had no right to go through his private contacts, and you wouldn't know if you hadn't been snooping around. bitch

Change it to "The Ex." Or stop being a nosy bitch.

More like fuck HIS life that you're such a pain in the ass and that you discovered that on his phone. I'm sure he's going to be hearing about it for the next few months.

well stop being a bitch and maybe he'll change it to "that one person."

Thats what you get for being a "very curious person"

"Today the bitch who knocks my junk around found out that she is indeed, a huge bitch. She been bitching at me for hours.FML"

I hope to see that in a few hours.

Well, Bitch, pick up your phone.
:]
Someones calling you. Pick that shit up!

Oh well maybe you should stop being a bitch :]
"Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?" (Anchorman).

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Because you couldn't just look at the number that "The Bitch" was under? Yeah right. And why would you CALL the person, especially if you didn't know who it was? What were you planning to say?

"Umm, hello, I was being a nosy bitch and wanted to see who my husband considered a bitch so we could get together for tea sometime and bitch about the world."

Except she's very likely paying for that loser's phone. And since when is a phone such a highly personal and secret thing?If he thought it was he would have put a lock on it. Douche.

Don't know if you are or not, but still that sucks!

I didn't hit FYL or YDI.
I just hit "Favorite".
This is just HILARIOUS. XD

holly shiTTTT what are you going to do about that? i say confront him!!!!!!!!

big deal every married guy i know calls their wife that. even the born again christians.

in fact i call my female dog bitch when i take her to the dog park. the girls who look like dogs give me dirty looks when i do that for some reason.

Why would you look through his phone? Why would you call one of his contacts without even knowing who they are? Are you that insecure? Do you have that little respect for other people's privacy? No wonder your husband calls you that....... give the man some space!

curious = nosy now?

I used to have the same entry in my contacts, except that it was for my boss at the time.

chill out, he's a man, you are his bitch. thus, "the bitch".

if you don't find it funny, stop being a bitch (:

where in japan are you?
Im kobe

Maybe he was just angry and changed it to make him feel better?

Wow, how clever, he called you a bitch. Don't be offended, it's the "go to" word for every dumb ass man who can't think for themselves.

Has anyone thought that maybe someone else was calling her by pure coincidence?

Stop snooping, moron. Triple YDI!!!

While that is douche-y and totally not an acceptable way for a man to refer to any woman, particularly his wife, you also shouldn't be snooping through his phone. I would never do that to my boyfriend.

you're looking through his phone so you shouldn't be angry

Change your name to "We need to talk", then call him when he gets back to his phone. c:

You should have known better than to go snooping. "Curiosity" is another word for "controlling" or "manipulative" here. Your husband is a douche, but perhaps reconsider your own behavior first!

wow .... marriage issues??

to be fair you do seem like a bitch

YDI for being such a bitch

fyl,
but ydi for going through his phone
and hes an idiot for doing that anyway.

You only deserve it if you ARE, in fact, a bitch. If not, then fuck your life.

ARE YOU GUYS SERIOUS??? what the fug is so bad about looking through your husband's phone? you're married, you're not supposed to have secrets from each other. so if her husband was cheating on her and he had pictures of a nude woman on there, you guys would think it was ok because the wife was a "bitch". honestly. i see nothing wrong with looking through your damn husband's phone.

Kate Gosselin? Is that really you? And of all the things to post on FML.com, you chose that?

ok i feel bad for you but...... DAMN THAT MADE ME LMAO!!!!!!! hehe sorry :(

It is a joke rather than a story .
but I like it .

Seriously.. What if that had been the name of another number? What did you plan to say to that person? Seems fake..

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Hey, at least you are "THE" Bitch, and not just "a" bitch!

Maybe you're the queen bitch. Bow down!

am i the only one who keeps all my contacts listed as their name?

Ur husband is a jerk but if i were u i would laf it off i thought it was pretty funny, he probably doesnt mean it in a super bad way

take a picture of your middle finger and set it as his caller id

My name in my husband's phone is 'Wifail', as in fail wife. Maybe it's just a 'cute' little nick name. Does he tease you alot?

My name in my husband's phone is 'Wifail', as in fail wife. Maybe it's just a 'cute' little nick name. Does he tease you alot?

YDI for looking through his contacts! Snoopy! Give the guy a little space, jeez

So he's a dumbass. You're a snoop. You sound like a smashing couple.

When he gets home, nag him about it! That'll make him change it... oh wait...

Don't look through his things next time.

Well if you always do shit like looking through someone else's phone, I say the title is pretty accurate. Karma's a bitch... just like you, apparently.

To the OP:

Yeah, it was mean. But just because it was a mean name to call you, doesn't mean that it was also automatically inaccurate. Things CAN be mean AND true, you know. This was probably one of them.

I understand you dont MEAN to do things that upset your husband... but maybe you should just work a little harder at not snooping thru his phone ok? Stuff like that. If you give him MORE attention in bed, and give him LESS attention when u are snooping thru his stuff etc etc, he might not wanna call u a bitch no more haha :P

I love how everyone uses this website just to yell at people. Every post i click on, I see people getting angry at the OP and trying to make them feel worthless, Just because it makes them feel better. This is supposed to be a comic wesite, not one where people try to belittle other people. The OP rarely ever actually reads the comments, and if they do, I doubt they care...so why are you guys trying to be mean??? why are you trying to make the OP feel worthless and stupid?? I just don't get it. Like i'm fifteen, and I get it. If you don't have something nice to say... Just don't say it...It's not rocket science. Alot of the comments are fine, and funny, But some of them are just hurtful. So???? i say just stop making this website a place for you to belittle other people, becuase it makes you feel like you're worth something. We are all equals..No one is better than anyone else... And I hate it when people think that god has somehow made them better than the average person. It just makes me mad, That even though alot of you are adults, you are still acting like children and tearing eachother apart. I like this website for something to laugh about, But as soon as you click on the comments, its hundreds of messages of people telling the OP they are "retarded", or worthless. I'm sick of it. Please stop acting like children and have the decency , even though this is the internet, to treat other people as you're equals. And i'd like to say the thing you guys have probably heard since you were children, but seem to think that you're too good to obey it.

"treat others the way you want to be treated"

Simple, I don't think it could be any clearer. Now I fully expect some retaliation commet, tearing me apart and trying to make what i said sound stupid. But That stuff dosent affect me. Just give people some basic respect, and you'll see that people will start respecting you. So please, just hear out what i said. And actually take the time to understand it.

Omg, i almost choked on my water! :D Nani?!!!! Nani o shiru deshoo ka??? Sheesh, i wish i knew swear words in Japanese too!! I guess "The Bitch" could be funny? However, its funnier to see a girl refer to her man as her bitch ;)

stop being a bitch then

ydi... your own damn fault! stop being such a nosy bitch. i hate your kind.

Wow, your husband is a genius. He obviously chose that name so that if you ever looked through his phone he'd be calling you a bitch for it.

Shouldn't be snooping. That said, I can't decide if this is FYL or YDI without knowing more about your relationship...

so so fake, nobody calls numbers in other peoples phones, regardless, and if it was "the bitch" what suspicion could you possibly have? surely not that he was cheating on you. was it that ur husband hates someone? big deal. therefore there is absolutely no reason whatsoever for doing that, hence, fake

this sounds really farmiliar....i did that to my ex girlfriend but she found out because one of my friends told her....oh well FYL

He's dead.

it's probably stuff like looking through his phone tht got u tht name! deservedddd

I'm sure he has good reason. Why? Because you are a bitch and snoop through others stuff, and while some admit that, you define yourself as "a very curious person". No, you're not. You're a snooping bitch. YDI.

びちゅ

YDI. Snooper-Bitch, it seems.

There you have it - for snooping.

exactly. Those are the immature comments i was expencting to get back. So you didn't actually listen to what i said did you?

...What were you planning to say when the person answered, if it had been someone else? "Oh hi, I just wanted to see who my husband has in his phone as 'the Bitch'"? YDI.

not really helping yourself by looking through his contacts

Maybe he's a thug, and the OP's the main??? Idk. Just throwing it out there. (Beyonce feels she's that bitch)

Wow, your husband is an idiot.

awww devostational!

I believe your hubby did it on purpose, OP… he knows you'll be snooping and it is his only way to get the message across lol Sorry but YDI

are you a bitch? you kind of sound like one...

Well said, whoever that was. For your husband to label you The Bitch, you probably earned that title. Snoop thru someone's stuff and then complain when you don't like what you find. That IS bitchy. You are probably going to run and Bitch to him about it. Prepare to be known as the The Snoopy Cunt.

Sounds like he has you pegged, you snoopy bitch.

he's just being a good husband.

I have a colleague who has a dog's bark as a ringtone for his wife's calls. Seems very proud of his joke.
I doubt OP's husband did this hoping she would snoop around his phone..

you go snooping through his phone and actually CALL SOMEONE? do you really have any questions as to why you're labeled as such? i know words can hurt, but if the phone contact label fits......

I don't necessarily believe this. At the very least, the story is beefed up. Don't you know your own phone number? Last time I checked, most phones don't ONLY show the contact's name, but also their number. You would've seen your own phone number before having to call it.

your all telling her she is one because she went snooping, but how many can honestly sit there an say you've never
been snooping EVER. reality check.

@OP - rename yourself as the ex and call him when he's got his phone!

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