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Today, in class, everyone read my Creative Writing submission. It was a touching story about the unconditional love that exists between dog and his owner. Everybody unanimously agreed that it was probably about bestiality. FML

I agree, your life sucks (17429) - you totally deserved it (3869)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by Quirk (woman) - United States (California)

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chipmunk's life also sucks

GlassJAwkidE also deserved it

Comments

was it?

#1 - On 10/29/2009 at 9:59am by wyld3fyr3

aww sounds sweet :) dont listen to them and dont let them bring you down

#49 - On 10/29/2009 at 3:28pm by neonokku

Too bad dogs don't know how to love.

#69 - On 10/30/2009 at 7:23am by No_Heart

How touching.. Beauty and the Beast was a childhood favorite among many bright-eyed lassies.

#2 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:02am by mercyFML

sounds hot.

#3 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:06am by Xellith

*pats OP's back*

#4 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:06am by helluva

Well, at least, they're getting the "other side" of the story :3

#6 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:09am by helluva

You're SICK!

#5 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:06am by andydawg8891

I'm sorry that people are too immature to figure that there are types of relationships outside of sexual, but I don't think the internet is the best place to plea your case.

#7 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:10am by pleasetryagain

Yeah, probably not.

Give it a while- there's sure to be more than one "well then you shouldnt've f*d that dog" comment.

#9 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:20am by _fake_

good call

#10 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:23am by laughing_at_u

. You set yourself up for it by writing about an animal that licks its ass and junk more often than not.

#24 - On 10/29/2009 at 11:37am by jackkerouc9

that was gunna be my exact comment ahahahahahaha

#31 - On 10/29/2009 at 12:41pm by liveBabylon

awakening?
well to be great you must be misunderstood. :/

#8 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:16am by cerebellum

What a precious story. Well, companionship never hurts... unless somebody forgot the vaseline... >.<


PS FYI, love isn't really unconditional otherwise it wouldn't matter who or what he/she/it was you have a relationship with. In some ways you might think it is, and in some ways, it might be nice to wish it was (it's a nice ideal in many cases). Ultimately, however, it never really is.

#11 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:28am by blastvortex

im wondering if everyone here had to look up bestiality before commenting lol

#12 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:37am by cerebellum

Trust me when I say most of the people commenting know what it is. They just don't know how to spell it.

@mercy - Also, I've been forbidden from watching Beauty and the Beast because of exactly this reason. I'm over 20 years old, mother! I WANT TO EXPERIENCE THE WORLD, DAMN IT!

#16 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:56am by Brave_Sir_Robin

What about The Little Mermaid? Man on teenage fish love, common.

#21 - On 10/29/2009 at 11:20am by redbluegreen

@16, you have lived a sad, depraved childhood and I feel sorry for you.

#73 - On 01/26/2010 at 2:04am by Thatguywhotrolls

So the story you wrote was biographic?

#13 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:52am by mekeskidi

wait wait beastiality...
screwing your dog?
am I right or totally wayy off here?

#14 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:54am by swimdiva

You shouldn't have f*d that dog!

That was for you _fake_


:)

#15 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:56am by swimdiva

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

don't they spell check fmls? OP spelled beastiality wrong. smh

#17 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:59am by misspeg

No, they didn't. It's bestiality, not beastiality. Next time make sure you're actually right before you correct someone's spelling.

#53 - On 10/29/2009 at 5:25pm by iwadasn

*spelt

#18 - On 10/29/2009 at 11:02am by misspeg

No, you were right the first time.
It's "spelled", and not "spelt".

#40 - On 10/29/2009 at 1:15pm by Ohnothingreally

I'm pretty sure I've seen it both ways. I'm from the UK and it would be spelt "spelt" - I think it just depends where you're from. ^_^

#47 - On 10/29/2009 at 2:54pm by _DeadPixels_

Well...it is a 'touching' story...

#19 - On 10/29/2009 at 11:03am by haweb

When you tried to type "Red Rover" but "Red Rocket" accidentally came out, your classmates figured it was no mistake.

#20 - On 10/29/2009 at 11:09am by perdix

Advice Dog, be careful with this OP! D:

#22 - On 10/29/2009 at 11:21am by toink

If you mentioned peanut butter in the story, we ALL know what you are about, even without taking that hoity-toity Creative Writing class.

#23 - On 10/29/2009 at 11:32am by perdix

damn... you just beat me to my comment... yours wasnt' there when I posted

#26 - On 10/29/2009 at 11:40am by lets_be_ian

you know, at least It's not cheating if you spread peanut butter on your balls and let your dog lick it off.... because its YOUR dog!

was this in the story per chance? That may have been what tipped them off.

** nods to the first person to get the reference **

#25 - On 10/29/2009 at 11:38am by lets_be_ian

The OP's a girl. She'd just smear the peanut butter on her analagous gonads and let the dog go to town.

#28 - On 10/29/2009 at 11:58am by perdix

Every movie Tom Green was in was stupid.

#36 - On 10/29/2009 at 1:05pm by hypoxxia

An fml such as this one only proves that the downfall of fml won't be long now.

#27 - On 10/29/2009 at 11:50am by Super_Vegetto

How old are? If it was in a middle school to tenth grade class then probably everyone is going to be really immature and would say something like that.

#29 - On 10/29/2009 at 12:34pm by xx_irish_rose_xx

Plus, you get a lot of stupid English teachers Reading meaning into EVERYTHING.

#74 - On 01/26/2010 at 2:06am by Thatguywhotrolls

OMG...there IS an fml god watching all our comments from above! I commented about how the spelling of beastiality was wrong in the fml and an hour later *poof* it's been fixed! *gets on hands and knees and starts worshipping fml god* please bring us better fmls!!!

#30 - On 10/29/2009 at 12:35pm by misspeg

but it's supposed to be spelled "bestiality"...

#32 - On 10/29/2009 at 12:41pm by RyeBreadBoy

It's actually spelled "bestiality," so apparently they listen to your whims whether they're correct or not. Beastiality is not a word.

#33 - On 10/29/2009 at 12:42pm by jammiriffic

And now it's been changed back. I actually looked it up. "Bestiality" is correct. Now that's settled.

#34 - On 10/29/2009 at 12:49pm by Intoxicunt

love is very difficult to write about without sexual tensions. next time, do friendship

#35 - On 10/29/2009 at 1:04pm by Subjectzero

Not if your maturity levels exceeds that of twelve-year-olds.

#54 - On 10/29/2009 at 5:30pm by iwadasn

I don't blame them

#37 - On 10/29/2009 at 1:06pm by KiddNYC10

Ew, you called your own story touching. X( Also, "unconditional love" doesn't exist with animals. That dog drools on you and humps your leg because you feed and shelter it, and whatever the fuck else you do with dogs. Sounds like the kind of story that would make me barf. Dogs aren't people, k?

#38 - On 10/29/2009 at 1:06pm by hypoxxia

hey, so yeah, you're right about unconditional love not existing for animals but it doesn't exist for people either (i mean people in couples not parents/children) because it is just Phenylethylamine in the brain (you can look it up) this is why chocolate is considered an aphrodisiac - it has phenylethylamine in it!

#70 - On 10/30/2009 at 8:42pm by Gallifrey

Your classmates and I think alike.
But then I saw the end of your post. So, since it's obviously not....
You're OK.

#39 - On 10/29/2009 at 1:12pm by Ohnothingreally

my bad about the spelling of bestiality. fml god had to work overtime on this one. sorry!

#41 - On 10/29/2009 at 1:16pm by misspeg

so you are fml disciple?

#42 - On 10/29/2009 at 1:32pm by cerebellum

yes, because his cameo that added up to about 15 minutes worth of the total movie completely negated all of the other humor in that particular piece of cinema... I do see what you mean.

that shit was funny... don't care if you like Tom Green or not.

you know what they say about opinions and assholes though... I certainly am not attempting to start an argument.

btw... didn't FML used to have spell check in the submission or am I losing (loosing hehe) my mind?!?

This was supposed to be a reply to #36, not sure why that didnt' work out... oh well

#43 - On 10/29/2009 at 1:43pm by lets_be_ian

just say that its a metaphor for doggy style, that way everybody wins. they get thier lil gossip, and you arent a dog fucker XD

#44 - On 10/29/2009 at 1:46pm by Chaostactic

win!

#45 - On 10/29/2009 at 2:33pm by lets_be_ian

Sadly, in this age of immaturity, nobody can write stories of loving connections between humans and animals without someone claiming its a tale of bestiality anymore. Even my own comics aren't safe from that, just because a man has a pet weasel. =_=

#46 - On 10/29/2009 at 2:33pm by Luckster

Fuck your life? No, fuck your dog!

#48 - On 10/29/2009 at 3:11pm by ragsy

Not literally I hope...xP

#52 - On 10/29/2009 at 5:02pm by anglicdvil524

anglicdvil524, I'm pretty sure that was the joke.

#55 - On 10/29/2009 at 5:33pm by iwadasn

lols.

#50 - On 10/29/2009 at 3:31pm by Voids

I agree with your classmates lol jk

#51 - On 10/29/2009 at 4:07pm by nm22395

ugh, people are stupid. how can you be in such an awesome class and not be able understanding about these sort of heartwearming stories. I love stories that have the bond between human and beast. I guess they are just jealous that you did something so cool. ;)

and I completely agree with #46

#56 - On 10/29/2009 at 6:56pm by Sapphy

I guess that's what you get for writing cliche' touchy feely lovey crap.

Sorry, I'm sure it's a lovely story, might even be good for a mass audience, and don't get me wrong I love my dog, but I take writing seriously as an art form and writing about love, or animals, or love and animals is really elementary.

#57 - On 10/29/2009 at 7:22pm by Sparkiee93

#57 is the most pretentious crap I've ever read. What are you, 12?

#61 - On 10/29/2009 at 9:28pm by greenfairy

Look up the story of Old Drum, the dog whose death lead to the description "man's best friend."

#58 - On 10/29/2009 at 9:09pm by Major_General

whaddya expect for going to school with a bunch of PETA terrorists?

#59 - On 10/29/2009 at 9:10pm by FarSide

Well was it written like, 'Rufus looked up at me with those sensual doggy eyes and wagged his sexy tail. I bent down to stroke his back, returning his affectionate gaze.'?
Hahaha!

#60 - On 10/29/2009 at 9:19pm by Fentown

Hahahaha. x)

#64 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:30pm by sondramcfail

Are you in College? This one time I wrote a story in creative writing about a dude jizzing his pants whilst eating a chocolate bar. Everyone in the class didn't know it though, that was in 8th grade.

But yeah, what were you expecting?

#62 - On 10/29/2009 at 9:53pm by Travel

Beastiality LOL! Necrophilia is funnier though.

#63 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:22pm by deth2emos

They're doing you a favor, because if you were to publish it there's a chance that it would become the dominant interpretation of the literary world.

#65 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:57pm by MoobyTheCow

This is why people should interpret stories so often. Also why you shouldn't major in English.

#66 - On 10/29/2009 at 11:15pm by moonfire

Let's get something clear here. It is NOT "bestiality".

It is "inter-species erotica".

Get it right people!!!!

#67 - On 10/29/2009 at 11:19pm by jonny2x4

Hey, that's a good thing. You know you've written a great work of literature when your readers start locating sexual undertones that you may or may not have intended to be there. It's probably Freud's fault.

#68 - On 10/30/2009 at 1:19am by Ninjaface

ochsa?

#71 - On 11/03/2009 at 12:53am by DynamiteDice

Strangely, it goes both ways. I wrote a story about a man with a sexual attraction to trees, and my creative writing class was convinced that I was using sex as a metaphor to describe how much he loved Christmas and its symbol, the Christmas tree.

#72 - On 11/05/2009 at 10:12pm by asmidiske

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