Today, whilst holding a hand rail on a packed bus, I was rubbing my hand along, and playing with, what I thought was a join in the metal. It was an old woman's finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6687) - you totally deserved it (17620)
On 10/21/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by FingerBang (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
H1N1! Don't rub your hands in public places D: For the love of...
#3 - On 10/21/2009 at 6:11am by IllegalLight
its 1 thing to accidently do that but another if she didnt stop u ;)
#5 - On 10/21/2009 at 6:18am by SmilesAlotXD
I've done things like this before...like I was in school and started rubbing what I thought was my shirt sleeve but it was actually the dude next to me's shirt sleeve and he didn't say anything. Why didn't the old woman tell you to stop? Maybe she enjoyed it. xD
That reminds me of a joke.
A burgler breaks into this middle aged woman's house. He goes into her beadroom as she stares at him, startled, immediately starts rubber her thigh saying "Where's the jewelery." She replied with "You keep doing that and I'll tell you EVERYTHING."
I wanna finger bang bang u into my life, girl u like to fingerbang and it's all right.
#10 - On 10/21/2009 at 7:03am by playfuldesk
OMG I am just, I don't know what to say... thank you!
#28 - On 10/21/2009 at 9:37am by TenebrificTurtle
Talk about using and leaving.
"Today a young man coyly ran his fingers up a pole and then touched my finger. He brought me to completion by finerbanging me. This is the first time since dear Charles died that anyone has touched me like this. I felt so alive. Then he turned away, wiped his hand off and looked disgusted. FML."
#15 - On 10/21/2009 at 7:39am by TenebrificTurtle
I know, but every girl likes to be fingered, even if they are older than sex without guilt
#29 - On 10/21/2009 at 9:40am by TenebrificTurtle
This happened to me once, but it was worse. I was standing by a counter, playing with the soft cushiony thing on the seat nearby, out of my sight.
It turned out to be a guy's ass. And to make matters worse, not only was he particularly horrendously fugly, but he also refused to believe it was an accident and made a big scene about how I had molested him and so on.
Please tell me this older woman was in a wheelchair...
Please tell me this older woman was in a wheelchair...
#19 - On 10/21/2009 at 8:10am by Brave_Sir_Robin
The rest of the story:
OP notices his error and apologizes.
OP: Sorry, ma'am.
Old lady: No worries, keep rubbing. I'll pay you when I get off.
OP: Where are you going to get off?
Old lady: If you keep rubbing like that, wherever we are in about 8 minutes! (rim shot!)
(looks over to the Judges' table) Judges?
(man sitting at the table in a black suit holds up right thumb) And we have a winner.
#21 - On 10/21/2009 at 8:26am by Brave_Sir_Robin
Duh. Perdix almost always wins lol...
Almost. I've seen a few fails.
Poor, poor Perdix.
#23 - On 10/21/2009 at 8:38am by salathiel2013
like you didn't know it was an old womans finger. you just got caught is all. win
#22 - On 10/21/2009 at 8:37am by Superawesomestev
MOLEST THE ELDERLY
. ._
,:' ./ __....._
/ ./ / . ,-.._.'
\ | / 6 . \___
.| 6 . . . . . . .4
.| . . . .. . . ./
.\_ .. .---- '
.(_'---'`)
./ `'---`()
THEY SECRETLY ENJOY IT
Old people often lack human contact because of the unattractiveness of aging. It may have been embarrassing for you, but it may have been the only touch she had that day. Human touch is essential to life and health, so be glad of your mistake. And hug your grandma when you see her next. :)
She probably belongs to some discrete culture where finger rubbing is used as a formal greeting. Hopefully you didn't sit in her presence, because in her culture that is how people propose.
#37 - On 10/21/2009 at 12:43pm by sephirothyeti
Someone is going around burying a bunch of people's comments. :o
Thanks for the compliment, though! :D
#56 - On 10/22/2009 at 3:35pm by Witchcraft
i cant stop but think about this joke i herd:
"hey come over to MySpace
ill Twitter with your Yahoo
and you'll Google all over my facebook"
A finger was kind of disappointing. Knowing FML I was seriously expecting a real penis.
#51 - On 10/21/2009 at 10:07pm by littleleeway
...I was actually expecting it to end with "I was rubbing my hand along and playing with what I thought the handrail was. Turns out it was a penis."
ROFL!!!!!!!! i've done this.. fucken funny!!!!!! hahhaha i've also been talking to and reached behind me and grabbed my bf's hand and carried on walking and talking to him and finally turned around and it was some complete stranger guy just waiting for me to turn around and realise LMAOOO!!!! XD XD XD
#60 - On 11/30/2009 at 7:18am by yehr
LMAO. I did that with my friend's younger brother's toe in the sand at the beach... I thought it was a piece of driftwood. It's quite mortifying.
