Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (23994) - you totally deserved it (4114)
On 10/18/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
The fact that it's there proves you're a twit who doesn't check things. No job for you.
#17 - On 10/18/2009 at 12:08pm by InfectedWithDrew
Lesson 1, re - read.
Lesson 2, your brother is a win.
Lesson 3, avoid the 30 people who now know your a douchebag.
I don't know if i'm either sorry for your, your brother, or the 30 people you handed the resumes to.
#50 - On 10/18/2009 at 11:43pm by BravoUser
I am more concerned about why the OP's resume had paragraphs in the first place. Resumes are more of bulleted outlines of skills and experiences.
#59 - On 10/19/2009 at 1:28pm by maverick21703
Next time proofread. Before and after you print. Duh. Explaining my brother did and I didn't notice only makes you look less competent because you didn't check first
#21 - On 10/18/2009 at 1:26pm by time4coffee
Lesson learned: Proof read- and then double check EVERYTIME!
#3 - On 10/18/2009 at 10:27am by notbuyingit
ugh also apostrohpes... you don't need one EVERY TIME you use an "s" on the end of a word, people. For example, you don't need one for plurals. Have people just started skipping elementary school altogether?
this is what i thought! but word keeps correcting me and i started to doubt myself...i just submitted an assignment with apostrophes in every plural GODDAMNIT. i hate you microsoft :(
#52 - On 10/19/2009 at 1:14am by organisedchaos
Haha you shoulda checked them before you printed them out (unless your brother did) or read over them again.
#10 - On 10/18/2009 at 10:52am by timewarpist
There are some professions (insurance claims rep, tax collector, tech support call center operator) where that is an asset, but you might be dinged for bragging about it too much.
I saw a douche bag last night.
I was at a drug store and I saw that the literally sold "douche bags," I didn't think they still made them. Also, I saw the biggest pair of manboobs I'd ever seen. If it didn't have a beard, I 'd have sworn it was an ugly fat woman. Quite a night last night.
Um, have you ever heard of proof-reading? How did your brother get to your documentation and/or get access to your computer/typewriter, etc? It would appear that your priorities are skewed.
#26 - On 10/18/2009 at 2:47pm by blastvortex
um. your BROTHER is the douchebag. but. you probably should have checked it before handing it out, or printing 30 copies. final proof read? but yeah. i'm sure they'd understand. who would willingly put that in their resume? just print more copies i guess. oh and make sure your brother receives some sort of punishment.
#33 - On 10/18/2009 at 4:31pm by kindness
well your brother kinda has a point...douchebags don't proofread.
#38 - On 10/18/2009 at 6:40pm by ohmandapants
You're an idiot. When you're looking for a job the more resumes you send out, the more likely you are to get a job. Don't comment on stuff you know nothing about.
#45 - On 10/18/2009 at 10:07pm by urlifeisfucked
Douche bag is an American insult. I live in Victoria and i've never heard anyone use it. Either you're American, your bro watches too much tv or this is a load of shit. I'm callin fake.
I'm so cool i can wear sunglasses at night.
#43 - On 10/18/2009 at 9:42pm by Fuzzynavel
i live in australia and hear douche bag ALL the time. i hate that word.
#54 - On 10/19/2009 at 3:04am by sophiexo
lol, that is hilarious. In college I changed the autocorrect settings on my roommate's computer so every time he typed his name, it would automatically change it to JackOff McGee.
YDI for not double-checking your resume before handing it out. If I were looking to hire someone, I would not give you the job. If you make an oversight like this before I even hire you, what will you be like after I hire you?
#46 - On 10/18/2009 at 10:20pm by GreenHacker
Also, I'm not sure how many recruiters are looking for resumes in paragraph format. Short and sweet seems to be the way to go.
#47 - On 10/18/2009 at 10:41pm by StanVanGundy
If you happened to hand your resume in at one or more of:
Kotex
Tampax
Pink Hygiene
Libra
Kendall
Nanma Mfg Co
TidyBio
Narang Medical
Apothecaries Sundries Mfg Co
Gem Optical Instruments Industries
Lifeline Systems Pvt. Ltd
GPC Medical Ltd.(Hospital and Medical Equipment Division)
Avishkar International Private Limited
Dream Zinks
Jaison Rubber Industries
Ved Sons Industries India
Vallabhji Bhikha & Company
Tian Wang Technology
OR
Rand Research
Then being a massive douche bag will put you head and shoulders above all the other applicants, in which case this is not an FML, but rather a Win!
So maybe print out another copy of that resume and apply for the Tampax Corporation?
#49 - On 10/18/2009 at 11:05pm by GreenHacker
Well hopefully one of thaw businesses was a telemarketer firm. They are giant douche bags. If there is no luck, see if any female employees need a new gyno.
#53 - On 10/19/2009 at 1:46am by AnnoyingFlamingo
YOUR BROTHER IS BLOODY AWESOME.....lols thnx to him i got a great revenge plan on my frend >:] lol
#55 - On 10/19/2009 at 3:30am by simone_babezz
FYL yes; but your still an idiot for not checking your resume one last time before you printed those copies
#56 - On 10/19/2009 at 11:37am by TheJawsman
FYL for having that done to you, but...
Your livelihood was at stake here. You should have checked every single inch of that resume before handing them out. It's a pain, but at least you can spot any grammar or typographical errors (or sibling pranks) beforehand.
You also now know that it's a good idea to password-protect anything you don't want your brother to edit. ;)
Pre read
YDI
Oh yeah, and give your bro chocolate laxative before he leaves for school/work asap.
#60 - On 10/20/2009 at 8:23am by Grangoire
Tell all his friends you saw him doing something that would humiliate him (playing with your feminine products, playing dress up with your clothes, wearing your make up, etc)
Hahahahaha besides the fact that it could possibly prevent you from getting a job.
Once my brother changed every verb on my resume to some form of the word "fuck" leading to phrases such as "I enjoy fucking with children."
I can relate to that, but all my brother did was write ass at the end of my paragraph and before I turned it in I had to scratch it out. You should kick his ass and/or do the same thing to him
#67 - On 11/01/2009 at 2:11am by disgruntledyouth
