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Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (32456) - you totally deserved it (4516)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

More FMLs?

DumpedHisAss's life also sucks

LasagnaRawks also deserved it

Comments

(+2)

rofl

#1 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:20pm by JStromberg

(+2)

that is the greatest fml ever.

#95 - On 10/15/2009 at 1:27am by hellawagon

(0)

Agreed!! This is the best one I've read. Well written, funny and shitty (excuse the pun) at the same time.

#105 - On 10/15/2009 at 8:11am by XScarlet

(+2)

the last line of that post made me giggle so hard. xD

#128 - On 10/16/2009 at 6:04am by Crazee108

(0)

Totally agree.

Thanks OP for making my day 10 times better :D

#138 - On 10/17/2009 at 1:49am by GoTs

This comment has been moderated.

#150 - On 10/20/2009 at 2:09pm by ishatmypants

(0)

the first part of it i just thought EWWWW but the last line just made me laugh so hard
lol best fml ever

#160 - On 11/01/2009 at 6:40pm by dabeachbum

(0)

I laughed so hard that I almost shxt myself. FYL

#171 - On 11/29/2009 at 11:23pm by VegasFML

(+1)

I read this on my iPhone while using the toilet. This FML made me shit myself.

#174 - On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm by Freeze

(0)

fuck. nastyy

#177 - On 02/27/2010 at 10:30am by midorihoneybucke

(0)

I have to say that nothing in my life has prepared me for the force of my amusement at this fml. pure poetry.

#181 - On 04/15/2010 at 7:59pm by intint50

(0)

LMAO! this just made my day!

#182 - On 04/16/2010 at 3:00pm by jo2ice

(0)

#174 - hahaha stoopid :D

#185 - On 06/08/2010 at 5:18pm by SeetaBeeta

(0)

why were you looking for a book to read if you had to take a dump?

#186 - On 06/28/2010 at 2:53pm by lizzilla8297

(0)

lol

#187 - On 06/29/2010 at 1:17am by YANKSFAN4EVER

(+1)

Finally a funny fml. About damn time.

#2 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:21pm by chop_buster

(0)

Haha, agreed!
Although it's pretty sick lol

#132 - On 10/16/2009 at 12:19pm by Rach_star

(+3)

LOL
xD the wording of this makes it even better.

#3 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:21pm by hk

(-6)

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

maybe you shouldn't read in the bathroom

#4 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:21pm by maximumoverdrive

(+2)

you're up shit creek without a paddle

#5 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:21pm by Pastor_Rich

(0)

lol hope tht wasent a wet one xD

#6 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:22pm by ROLLSROYCE

(+2)

If you stop eating chipotle, you will be all set my friend.

#7 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:24pm by jackkerouc9

(+2)

No all you need is "Chipotlaway!"

#15 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:29pm by Veritas143

(0)

its okay with chipoltaway!

#37 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:57pm by shirvon100

(+1)

Ah, if only he was blessed with a golden rectum.

#121 - On 10/15/2009 at 6:34pm by rockyhorrorshow

(0)

Not only am I reading this on the crapper, but I was horribly disappointed with that episode of Southpark.

Woot funny FML

#134 - On 10/16/2009 at 2:21pm by Microbiologist

(0)

Hahaha, thanks for brightening up my day. That was amusing! :D

#8 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:25pm by Boxingsweets

(+1)

I'm sure everyone in the library was disgusted, and then they laughed. Now, they have a story they'll tell for the rest of their lives!

#9 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:25pm by perdix

(0)

noooo d00d! That's sacrilege! The Library is a magical place; not even Unicorns are allowed to fart there. They roam free with the homeless and the crazee people in the sunlight meadows and drink freely from the rivers of rainbow skittles. Poo! Poo! Poo @ this =p

#17 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:36pm by mercyFML

(0)

And the men's rooms always smells of man-on-man love. What do the women's rooms smell like?

#24 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:06pm by perdix

(+1)

Man-on-man love in a fish taco.

#26 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:09pm by mercyFML

(0)

I don't know, all the public ladies rooms 'round these parts smell like fruity pebbles. I'm not sure why.

#83 - On 10/14/2009 at 11:25pm by AndelleRae

(0)

AndelleRae,

Men's restrooms at libraries specifically always have this odor that is different from any other public restroom. Once, I was at a Border's Bookstore and its men's room had that same smell.

Wander into a men's room at a library and take a whiff. If there are men in there, getting raped will be the least of your worries.

#106 - On 10/15/2009 at 8:51am by perdix

(0)

Er, hello.
He did NOT mention he was in a library, what are you on about?

#114 - On 10/15/2009 at 1:49pm by missmasturah

(0)

These stories are limited to 300 characters. Not words, characters (including spaces).

In order to have fun, some of us guess certain things that are not explicitly mentioned. Some of us think it's funny that he pooped in the library. If you can't handle that, tough.

#119 - On 10/15/2009 at 5:14pm by perdix

(0)

omg thank you, so annoying

#168 - On 11/25/2009 at 4:57pm by HarperGirl

(+1)

Keep a book in the bathroom so you don't waste time looking for something to read.
Eat more fiber, so you don't have to sit there and wait for things to happen.

#10 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:26pm by jonnymohio

(+2)

this has to be one of my favorite FMLs of all time. i'm still giggling just a little :)

#11 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:27pm by clownstotheleft

(+1)

talk about a crappy experience

#12 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:28pm by Pastor_Rich

(-5)

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

YDI for needing to read on the can.

#13 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:28pm by icedrake523

(0)

I honestly cannot even get over this one. FYL DUDE.

#14 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:29pm by lolsamzilla

(0)

OP, that was worded.. just beautifully. thank u for that. perfect
(im not being sarcastic i just really liked it especially how he added the last little comment)

#16 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:29pm by ReginaFalange

(+2)

The turtle came out of its shell

#18 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:40pm by donkey_hang_down

(0)

Hehe you totally made my day. I hope yours goes better XD

#19 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:42pm by Teh4thmusketteer

(0)

you should wear diapers.

#20 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:49pm by flyboy57

(+2)

I love the "nothing in my life has prepared me for this" part

XD priceless!

I'm sorry, but that was hilarious....
a true fml

#21 - On 10/14/2009 at 5:54pm by extradorkyloser

(+1)

I couldn't agree with you more. This is expert writing, pure shakesphere.

#80 - On 10/14/2009 at 11:16pm by neon_shoes

(+1)

You have my sympathies and support, comrade. Having sneezed and subsequently sharted, I know how it feels. I, too, was taken by surprise.

#22 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:01pm by Nakedsquirrel

(0)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHHAHh

#23 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:03pm by donjester

(-9)

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

that's so disgusting. how do FML's like this get through

#25 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:06pm by Anonanimal

(0)

uh...because it's FML. and fyl indeed, op! hahaha

#53 - On 10/14/2009 at 8:35pm by in_wonderland

(+1)

I moderated this one. I only let the ones I laugh at get through, and that last line sealed the deal.

#61 - On 10/14/2009 at 9:16pm by lifeinhd

(0)

Because its fuckin HILARIOUS! One of the best I've ever seen..

You would probably prefer the retarded FMLs. Search "candle". I'm sure you'd just LOVE those.

#84 - On 10/14/2009 at 11:26pm by ChronicFAIL

(+1)

At least it wasn't ended with "...in front of my fiancee and in-laws-to-be, boss, and every ex-girlfriend I've ever had."

Unfortunate and a little funny, but man, could it have been worse!

#27 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:14pm by Haitch

(0)

Rofl. Hilarious, but I hope it teaches you to keep a book in the bathroom or read the air freshener can like the rest of us.

#28 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:15pm by radman

(+5)

Ha ha, "Nothing in my life has prepared me for this". That sounds like a line from a movie trailer.

NOTHING IN YOUR LIFE HAS PREPARED YOU FOR THIS. "THE SHITSTORM." IN THEATRES THIS SUMMER.

#29 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:16pm by Emperor_Jim

(0)

lol. Thank you for that

#36 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:45pm by GreenHacker

(0)

When does it hit theatres?? Midnight showing bitches!

#78 - On 10/14/2009 at 10:58pm by jhines08

(0)

My leg is itchy now.

#30 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:42pm by QJD

(0)

LMAO! niceeeeeeee

#31 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:43pm by Captain_Jello

(0)

I laughed till I had asthma. You win and fail dude.

#32 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:43pm by alwaysalady

(0)

UNDERWEAR...

#33 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:44pm by klalalo

(+1)

YDI for still looking for a book when u had 2 go that bad.

#34 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:45pm by misspeg

(+1)

that last sentence made this FML ten times better, but after this, i can no longer say that nothing in my life has prepared me for the same scenario

#35 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:45pm by the_stereotype

(0)

Ahhh good point. Now if this happens to us, we won't have an excuse.

#159 - On 10/29/2009 at 12:52am by sandwichbait

(0)

YDI for not being able to tell that you didn't need a book.

#38 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:57pm by yowzerz

(0)

Last Sentence... Priceless

#39 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:58pm by racerapj

(0)

damit man ive always said america needs som sort of calss that helps us learn and protect stuff like this, when will they learnnnnn!!!!! LOL fyl

#40 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:59pm by shirvon100

(0)

Generally people have a different effect when it's sneeze and bodily function related. It's the front end, not the back.
But really, keep some books or comics strips in the bathroom. Not only does it save time, it's less embarrassing than being seen taking reading material.

#41 - On 10/14/2009 at 7:01pm by BadLuckBub

(0)

That was hillarious. Funniest one I've read in a while. Does suck though

#42 - On 10/14/2009 at 7:12pm by owtom78

(0)

LOL
your dumb kid haha

#43 - On 10/14/2009 at 7:13pm by Apachefire21

(0)

Sorry it happened to ya though

#44 - On 10/14/2009 at 7:14pm by owtom78

(0)

what? did you decide to go commado that day?

#45 - On 10/14/2009 at 7:16pm by xSceneSceneBabyx

(0)

THIS.

#46 - On 10/14/2009 at 7:20pm by Incubuss

(0)

Are you, by any chance, a comedy writer? You should be one.

#47 - On 10/14/2009 at 7:22pm by Matt_Nicholas

(0)

First so i win also ydi for having a rectum

#48 - On 10/14/2009 at 7:43pm by LeoV

(0)

FYL, but that just made my day.

#49 - On 10/14/2009 at 7:54pm by icecreamthoughts

HAHAH! That's funny. LOLS. Never heard of anyone sneezing and suddenly took a dump.

#50 - On 10/14/2009 at 7:56pm by beer01

(0)

well i laughed

#51 - On 10/14/2009 at 7:57pm by twitterwhore66

(0)

Hahahahhaha! Thatbshit hilarious!!

#52 - On 10/14/2009 at 8:08pm by woahitsashlynn

(0)

Jack Black did. Vapoorize.

#54 - On 10/14/2009 at 8:40pm by RataBlanca

(0)

This fml is so full of shit.

#55 - On 10/14/2009 at 8:40pm by mrda

(0)

literally.

#59 - On 10/14/2009 at 9:07pm by purplepickle

(0)

wow epic! haha!

#56 - On 10/14/2009 at 8:52pm by nabzilla

(0)

terrific use of the word "dung"
but is a book really that crucial for defecation?

#57 - On 10/14/2009 at 8:53pm by madishunwhut7

(0)

"Nothing in my life has prepared me for this."

I died when I read that last line. Awesome.

#58 - On 10/14/2009 at 8:55pm by darcloki32

(0)

that is foul.

#60 - On 10/14/2009 at 9:14pm by zen_fml

(0)

thats y i dont read while shitting:)

#62 - On 10/14/2009 at 9:17pm by rawr_ima_bear

(0)

where was your underwear?

#63 - On 10/14/2009 at 9:20pm by anything_els

(0)

At least the shit only hit the floor, not the fan.

#64 - On 10/14/2009 at 9:25pm by ScaryyMary

(0)

Seriously, who uses the word dung? How did the Amish find out about FML?

#65 - On 10/14/2009 at 9:26pm by boyob76

(0)

Maybe he wanted to use a more appropriate word than "shit". Get over it.

#66 - On 10/14/2009 at 9:43pm by ScaryyMary

(0)

funniest thing ive heard all day
seriously though... keep some magazines by the toilet

#67 - On 10/14/2009 at 9:48pm by ChelseaSS

(0)

Finally, a solid fml

#68 - On 10/14/2009 at 9:57pm by dazzleme

(+1)

Haha #31 that's exactly what I do, read the airfreshener can.

#69 - On 10/14/2009 at 10:05pm by Honda288

(0)

So sorry about your experience. Usually, good toilet training prepares the rest of us on how to avoid this mishap.

#70 - On 10/14/2009 at 10:07pm by FarSide

(0)

wow, this is absolutely great! What I want to know is who are the thousand plus idiots who says this guy deserved it? This is the first true FML that I have seen for a while.

#71 - On 10/14/2009 at 10:08pm by rezinator2115

(0)

pretty sure u just laughed till I shut! that sucks tho sorry

#72 - On 10/14/2009 at 10:16pm by rocker_girl_45

(0)

LMFAO! omg that's fucking hilarious! ive been waiting for something I could actually laugh at and here you
have given me that something! kudos man kudos

#73 - On 10/14/2009 at 10:27pm by jw90

(0)

Ever heard if underwear idiot?

#74 - On 10/14/2009 at 10:37pm by seekasmile

(+1)

Uh, unless 'shorts' means 'boxer shorts'. OP is male, it makes sense. Stop to think sometimes, okay?

#88 - On 10/14/2009 at 11:53pm by Haitch

(+1)

laughter

#75 - On 10/14/2009 at 10:50pm by wordgirl

(0)

Dung is mainly refferd to animal shit. You sneezed so hard you pooped out cow poo? You were right nothing could have prepaired you.

#76 - On 10/14/2009 at 10:54pm by eeekimjack

(0)

I'm laughing my fucking ass off at how you worded it. That SUCKS mate XD

#77 - On 10/14/2009 at 10:56pm by justjayit

(0)

Expertly worded.

#79 - On 10/14/2009 at 11:01pm by FritoLovesYou

(0)

Wow. Either you had to shit reeallly bad, or that was one HELL of a sneeze.

#81 - On 10/14/2009 at 11:19pm by exranger06

(0)

lmfao OP takes a nasty, but not really interesting or funny event, and makes me burst out laughing with the last sentence

#82 - On 10/14/2009 at 11:21pm by Nizzit2

(0)

Indeed!

Give it some time and this is gonna show up in the FML Tops

#85 - On 10/14/2009 at 11:27pm by ChronicFAIL

(0)

Hahahah. This actually made me laugh :p
Theres only been a few FML's that I actually have laughed at.

#86 - On 10/14/2009 at 11:27pm by EprahsHteb

(0)

YDI for stopping to pick out a book before you went to the bathroom.

#87 - On 10/14/2009 at 11:31pm by mommmma

(0)

Billy maze here with chipoltloway!

#89 - On 10/15/2009 at 12:05am by stairshurtz

(0)

okay it's funny but I'd say thats the most disgusting fml I ever read

#90 - On 10/15/2009 at 12:06am by JENNABY

(0)

Last sentence did me in! Awesome FML.

#91 - On 10/15/2009 at 12:08am by richsn1

(-4)

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

are you gay ? we had a gay teacher who always farted down the hallway. but he never knew he was. there are spinchter excercises you can do to tighten that hole. unless you date black men.

#92 - On 10/15/2009 at 12:48am by ladiesman14

(0)

hahahaha, what the fuck man! your a dumb fuck!

#93 - On 10/15/2009 at 1:17am by amyAMPHETAMINES

(0)

HAHAHA

#94 - On 10/15/2009 at 1:25am by whales

(0)

What are you talking about? The CIA spent years training you for this exact situation! Now use that training!

#96 - On 10/15/2009 at 1:35am by Ninjaface

(0)

this is why tou leave reading material BY the toilet. that's fucking funny tho.

#97 - On 10/15/2009 at 2:13am by Subjectzero

(0)

I heard that if you sneeze & fart/shit at the same time you'll explode. :| :P

#98 - On 10/15/2009 at 2:14am by IkkeNS123

(0)

and wouldn't that be the way to go...?

#146 - On 10/18/2009 at 12:26am by neon_shoes

(0)

I laughed. Sorry :P

FYL

#99 - On 10/15/2009 at 2:52am by lissn

(0)

If you had to take a dump then you should've been looking for a working toilet rather than a book.

Also, I like how you refer to your shit as dung.
I don't think I've ever heard that term used to describe human..err..excretions.

#100 - On 10/15/2009 at 3:10am by mycleverusername

(0)

FAKE - when you sneeze your pelvic floor muscles automatically activate meaning you can't crap yourself.

#101 - On 10/15/2009 at 3:19am by Jenmaree

(0)

I accept you

#102 - On 10/15/2009 at 3:33am by haneki

(0)

By amazing coincidence, I did almost the same thing about 2 minutes after reading this one. I've got liquids instead of solids at the moment, and when I tried to fart I realised that it seemed a bit wet. Luckily it didn't run down my leg though, so wasn't so hard to clean up.

#103 - On 10/15/2009 at 5:39am by LeeJH

(0)

throw your carpet then

#104 - On 10/15/2009 at 7:57am by hotissue

(0)

this is the best fml ever, really, laughed out loud xD

#107 - On 10/15/2009 at 9:31am by milkyourgoat

(0)

Maybe you should've been looking for a toilet instead of a book if you had to go that bad. YDI

#108 - On 10/15/2009 at 9:45am by PhillyFox

(0)

Florida?

Depends.

#109 - On 10/15/2009 at 10:54am by spectator

(0)

i just want to say, that i created a FML account just to say how amazingly great this FML is. laugh out friggin' loud dude.

#110 - On 10/15/2009 at 11:22am by loller_skates

(0)

People like you make me happy any day. Seriously.

#111 - On 10/15/2009 at 12:00pm by Lyfiar

(0)

I'm proud to be from the same state as you.

#112 - On 10/15/2009 at 12:26pm by oystercultviking

(0)

I laughed so hard at this fml that I just peed myself

#113 - On 10/15/2009 at 12:46pm by idkwhyicant

(0)

This is the best FML since the one about the guy who accidentaly took a dump in his roommate face while he was sleeping !

#115 - On 10/15/2009 at 3:39pm by Charley_5054

(0)

soooo great! lol the last line was classic

#116 - On 10/15/2009 at 3:49pm by silentmusic

(+1)

ahahahahahah!!! maaan i was having the shittiest day, and u just made me laugh my ass off!! :P

they way you wrote this, makes it so fucking Epic
''nothing in my life has prepared me for this'' this made me laugh for 10 minutes st8!

#117 - On 10/15/2009 at 3:55pm by the_holy_one

(0)

LMAO! This made my day!

#118 - On 10/15/2009 at 4:38pm by Lukas1051

(0)

*ahem*
........
BAHAHAHAHAHA!

#120 - On 10/15/2009 at 6:11pm by lil_miss_shorty

(0)

man that sucks... ROFL time!!! hahaha this made my day!!

#122 - On 10/15/2009 at 6:59pm by ne0nhana112

(0)

hahahahaha.... truly a great fml!!

#123 - On 10/15/2009 at 7:08pm by musicltd

(0)

And thats why ur a shithead

#124 - On 10/15/2009 at 8:50pm by nabildxhomer

(0)

To all the idiots asking about the underware, have u ever seen kids potty training and screw up. yeah, it doesn't always stay in.... op, that was halirious!

#125 - On 10/15/2009 at 8:59pm by NELU

(0)

There's an app for that.

#126 - On 10/15/2009 at 9:09pm by Clever_Sleazoid

(0)

no shit, what a small world it is!!!!! i thought the exact same thing as all of you folks posting on this. so i linked it to facebook, and it turns out i know the OP!!!!!!! i definitely believe he deserves an award for this post, it made me cry laughing, when i was in a shitty mood at work. **no pun intended

#127 - On 10/15/2009 at 10:48pm by hitmanca07

(0)

the last sentence almost made me cry (with laughter)

#129 - On 10/16/2009 at 8:35am by cheeraio92

(0)

Beautifully done!

#130 - On 10/16/2009 at 8:40am by Few_Absolutes

(0)

LMFAO.
Haha, omg I was rofling at that xD

#131 - On 10/16/2009 at 12:07pm by BryonyBabs

(0)

omg omg.. i tried sooo hard to feel bad but its just too hilariouss i cant stop laughing XDDDD!!!

#133 - On 10/16/2009 at 1:46pm by tia73

(0)

i laughed so hard i peed a little...

#135 - On 10/16/2009 at 3:17pm by kittenmeow

(0)

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

#136 - On 10/16/2009 at 4:01pm by katie_annex3

(0)

I made an account just to say: I fucking loved this FML and it's brightened up my day.

Thank you.

#137 - On 10/16/2009 at 9:25pm by Fat_British_Kid

(0)

lol 89, nice

#139 - On 10/17/2009 at 3:03am by Bassplyer

(0)

I laughed so hard when I first read this. I still laugh every time I read it. =]

#140 - On 10/17/2009 at 12:03pm by jessalynn94

(0)

The comments made me laugh harder than the FML but it was still priceless.

#141 - On 10/17/2009 at 2:17pm by ashlynn_95

(0)

LMFAOOO well now, you can help to prepare others.

#142 - On 10/17/2009 at 3:30pm by ohmandapants

(0)

hahahahahahaha oh man did i need to read something that funny today hahaha

#143 - On 10/17/2009 at 8:51pm by oh_damn_it

(0)

HAHAHA!!!!! Funniest thing i've heard IN MY LIFE!!!! LOL!
i never even thought such a thing was possible!
I can't stop laughing!

#144 - On 10/17/2009 at 9:21pm by BFFWAWAMUCH

(0)

I WAS LITTERALLY CRYING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING! COMMENT #76, YOU CONTRIBUTED TO MY LAUGHTER A LOT! SO WHOEVER MADE THIS FML, YOU ARE A GOOD LAUGH (YOU TOO #76)!

#145 - On 10/18/2009 at 12:04am by sofrigginlol

(0)

buddy, don't go commando - wear some jocks next time

#147 - On 10/19/2009 at 7:33am by jonathont86

(0)

this is the best fml ever.
i choked on a pringle lafing so much at this
#76 you helped alot

#148 - On 10/19/2009 at 4:54pm by HeidiHydrogen

(0)

love it! this fml is great!

#149 - On 10/20/2009 at 3:33am by jan_inja

(0)

the greatest fml. ever.

#152 - On 10/20/2009 at 2:36pm by sirskila

(0)

the best one ive ever seen... ends very well 2

#153 - On 10/20/2009 at 5:38pm by Soul_Train

(0)

omg i love this so much hahaha

#154 - On 10/20/2009 at 11:35pm by singingfreak525

(0)

bahahahahahaha

#155 - On 10/22/2009 at 2:07pm by balundvall

(0)

It ran down your leg and THEN out of your shorts? how does that work, exactly?

Don't mind me, it just struck me as being an odd way to phrase that.

#156 - On 10/23/2009 at 1:13pm by Deadguy71

(0)

Hey i do that all the time. I just blame it on the dog. If you don't have one, blame a ninja.

#157 - On 10/28/2009 at 12:12am by ti3n_t

This is the best FML ever. Anyway, seems like you had a pretty shitty day. (AWFUL JOKE I KNOW)

#158 - On 10/28/2009 at 8:37pm by Metallica95

(0)

I'd like to point out that I made an FML account just to comment this one. It's perfect! I love how you say "I had to take a dump" but then said "while looking for a book to read" that line is fantastic.

#161 - On 11/09/2009 at 12:56am by indygirl24

(0)

This is the most perfectly constructed FML ever. Kudos and I'm sorry you shat your pants.

#162 - On 11/11/2009 at 2:31am by FreshlyInstable

(0)

I agree with 162. There is no better way to phrase the comment either. PERFECTLY CONSTRUCTED. I am sicker than a dog right now, and laughing so hard it hurts my whole body. Never was there a moment when such excruciating pain meet with such incredible bliss. Not even at the birth of my son. Excellent job, OP!

#163 - On 11/11/2009 at 5:41pm by lovemyE8

(0)

The Best Ever! FYL!

#164 - On 11/18/2009 at 5:00pm by phatdaddy62

(0)

Thats what you get for not wearing underwear. If you were, then wtf!

#166 - On 11/23/2009 at 12:38am by aolera

(0)

OMFG LOL and any other way to laugh in under 5 letters

#167 - On 11/24/2009 at 4:43pm by xbox_playa

(0)

hey, #145 seems to have really good taste! THIS IS THE FUNNIEST!

#169 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:15pm by chwder912

(0)

LOL

#170 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:15pm by chwder912

(0)

Lmao.

#172 - On 12/06/2009 at 7:37pm by NoodleBurger

(0)

rotflmfao
(rolling on the floor laughing my f*ing a** off)

this is the best fml ever!

#173 - On 12/16/2009 at 1:24am by Hotshot132

(0)

lololol! I can NOT stop laughing! Oh my golly, that was fantastic!

#175 - On 01/22/2010 at 12:24am by niirah

(0)

Haha oh wow, rofl rofl.

#176 - On 02/23/2010 at 2:19am by lxclark

(0)

lol best

#178 - On 03/03/2010 at 12:02pm by terran0

(0)

Imao loved the ending :D

#179 - On 03/19/2010 at 12:20pm by Itstopsecret

(0)

awww that's fuckin naaasty! but the ending ties it all together in burst of giggles.

#180 - On 04/04/2010 at 1:57pm by Ambrielle

(0)

this just made my day!

#183 - On 04/23/2010 at 6:34pm by madisonlee8113

(0)

Lmfao, I don't know what I would do if that happened to me.

#184 - On 05/15/2010 at 2:58pm by maddiester

(0)

no, most people aren't prepared to shit their pants while sneezing..

#188 - On 07/06/2010 at 1:13pm by VolleyballSMASH

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