Comments
Haha, that's hilarious! Sucks to be you.
#1 - On 06/26/2009 at 5:17pm by Mandy
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#2!
LOL. IKR? But the OP can always go to a new yoga class.
I almost wet myself laughing. Funniest thing I've read in a while.
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adam, 2 things. one, your 35 not 2 you fucking dumbass. two, YOU SUCK AT LIFE!
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You know, some people are into that kind of stuff
Queefing can be quite kinky
Come on, the guy that can't count (#35) fails more than a guy who forgot an apostrophe and the letter 'e.' Don't you think?
This could have been avoided had you simply introduced yourself. It's much easier than people think.
#72 was referring to the comment number (35) because the comment said second. I think you fail at life.
Redneck325Ci, why are you talking about age?
and OP that sucks. lmao
Well if you want to get all technical...your period should go inside the quotation marks. But since you missed that, perhaps you fail at life :)
I'm pretty sure #35's just kidding, cos his reply's under #1. Jeez, guys, chillax!
Redneck, you're retarded. Way to jump into that conversation without knowing what's going on.
I saw my yoga teacher and queefed in my pants :P
Redneck - You used that semicolon improperly, you know. Semicolons are used to separate two independent yet related clauses. An independent clause is able to stand alone as a sentence; "#72, it doesn't display your age, but whatever age you are" is not a complete sentence.
perhaps you fail because you use stupid smiley faces... by the way your hott and I want you on an ice cream cone topped with love! lol
oooh that sucks, you shoulda said to him "it was you"
hahaha nice family guy reference
hahah thats funny i would have been sooo embarrassed
#5 - On 06/26/2009 at 5:19pm by ashdew13
haha, IKR. I probably would have tried to play it off.
Somehow..
#90 - On 06/26/2009 at 8:39pm by lynnesey
Haha, that is great- YDI for doing a full split though.
Not just a regular queef, but an obnoxious one? *snort* Okay, that's seriously funny. I'm having a good laugh right now! HA!
WOW!! That's just nasty...
No, it's not. A queef sounds the same as a fart but there really nothing disgusting about it apart from the sound.
A fart is disgusting, because it's a collection of smelly intestinal gassed mixed with poop particles.
A queef is just air trapped in a vagina because of movements.
And apart from that, there's nothing you can do about it. It just happens, mostly during sex.
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yah do realize that having a fart is funny cuz its come from a butt which isnt dirty but a queef comes from a vagina and little kids fart and comes out of there butts but should kids know about vaginas and make it so queefs are funny
This reminds of the FMl where the BF thought queefs were hot and when the GF tried to do it he puked lol.
#96 - On 06/26/2009 at 9:09pm by RJB
^^^^^^^what the hell does this (#96) say??? ^^^^^^^^^^^ i tried to read it like 5 times and i still can't understand it. is it even in english??!!
say someone scrubs their butt..and then you lick it..will you most likely get some poop particles in your mouth..even just a tad..or if it's clean..it's safe?
HAHA! That made me laugh harder then the fml. (#169)
And if you can queef on command, or it just happens sometimes, I hear that means you're loose? Like a slut. Anyone know if that's true or not?
No, no, no. That is not true at all. I'm a virgina and can do it on command. If anything, it means that you have more control.
hahahha this made me laugh so hard ^^^^ you said you are a virgina... first of all it's vagina and second how could you possibly be one hhahahahhah
I think they meant virgin smarty
What yoga position were you in? FYL, that had to be the most embarrassing thing ever. HAHAHAH
Urbandictionary.com, man.
Works wonders. I feel honoured to be playing a small but simple part in disrupting the innocence of your mind.
you're better off for not knowing
I for one completely agree with you!
FYL indeed :P
haha def. had to look that one up too. Kinda wish I hadn't...
haha urbandictionary.com is beast. but yeah i know what it is, rather wish i didnt. thank god its never happened to me though! :)
dont worry, i had no idea what it was either.....
queef=when air comes out of a woman's vagina sounding like a fart
Thats soo embarassing!!! Aahah
That. Is. Hilarious.
Sorry.
Do not 'greet' people, just say hello! Or you could just bend yout body into a 'HI!' form -.-
hahaha. wow
sucks for you.
next time trying saying "hi".
fyl.
.. what does Queef mean :-S
wtf is wrong with people who use this site? its the same with youtube. you realize you're on the fucking internet. you look up what a queef is on wikipedia or something and know in a fraction of the time it would take to comment on this fml and wait for someone to respond. do you not know what the internet is for?
it's nice to see someone that isn't a complete fucking imbecile on here, thank you #117
i was thinking exact the same thing
I would be impressed! Hahaha, good job.
#19 - On 06/26/2009 at 5:26pm by thelonelylurker
Way to go, Queen LaQueef-a.
Holy shizz balls, that made me laugh so hard hahaha
hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Anyone who won't date you because your vagina works like a vagina is a douche, and you should get over it too. People who get upset over bodily functions are way too uptight.
We live in a world of equality. If men aren't allowed to fart in front of a woman until after consummation, shouldn't the same extend to the wimmens?
Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way... you can't hold in a queef, and you have no feeling of when it's going to happen (unlike a fart). I'm sorry that happened to you. The most embarrassing moment of my life happened to involve a queef too...
That's right. queefs cannot be held in or detected in advance. I know of some women who can force them out on purpose using their vaginal muscles to trap in air and release it, but that's about it.
The vagina has no nerve endings the further up you go, which is why a tampon can't be felt once it's inserted. And as such, if there's an air bubble there, you have no way of knowing it.
So it's different from passing a regular fart, as you typically have mucho warning for those, and control (most of the time). The queef is just one more thing your vagina likes to do to make your love life awkward.
lol this brings me back to the south park episode about queefs, haha
=]good point though
don't queefs and farts kinda sound the same though, i mean for the most part right
oh yeah, and for those who don't know, a queef is a vag fart
QUUUEEEEFFFF!
lmao sucks!
Um, he's an idiot...Vaginas are beautiful. Air gets caught in mine pretty much everytime my boyfriend and I get it on, and we just laugh.
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shut up
I lol'd. Vaginas are beautiful? hahahaha
#41 - On 06/26/2009 at 6:02pm by apastry
OP: Sumbish, that had to be embarrassing.
Still, if you did not engage in human intercourse immediately prior to this event, it may suggest that your queefer is the size of a football inflated to 12psi, and is therefore prone to the sudden, uncontrolled, expulsion of gaseous containment.
You might consider an appointment with a Doctor who specializes in vaginoplasty. They can often surgically reduce the size of overstretched queefers, or install queefer mufflers.
Good Luck!
Um... Wow. Suggesting invasive surgery because air got trapped in her ladyparts doing the splits? That's a little much, don't you think?
#50 - On 06/26/2009 at 6:40pm by mendertorsel
Who wants an oversized coffee grinder??
What in the hell is a Queefer Muffler? I just got the sickest image in my head...
#99 - On 06/26/2009 at 9:24pm by mlia66
Some people really can't tell when someone is making a joke. Huh, I thought it was a basic skill...
See, the thing that defines a joke is that it's funny. Otherwise it's just a stupid thing someone says. In that case you generally take it at face value.
#156 - On 06/27/2009 at 1:08pm by mendertorsel
at least you are flexible?
#33 - On 06/26/2009 at 5:39pm by ohxberlin
Did u just have sex or somethin?
you've obviously never taken a yoga class before...
I feel like I can smell it.
You can't smell a queef. It's just trapped air.
air smells like whatever's around it. duh. #93, invite yourself to smell a queef. depending on the particular vagina it emerges from, it could smell a number of ways...
Queefs are real?
I just thought they were something made-up we joked about in middle school 0_o
Did anyone else just have a south park flashback?
#46 - On 06/26/2009 at 6:28pm by jclark
I was thinking the exact same thing, hahaha!
thats why i checked the comments to see if anyone would mention
I feel like the oddest person on the planet, but queefs are kind of hot.
LOL funnytimess but its natural
And for your edification, here's a lesson in how to do it!! : http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/47f72a7817/learn-to-queef-from-tubulargoldmine
Yes #45 queefs are real =P
They happen a lot actually, especially during exercising =P
it's really annoying and embarassing when it happens in front of others >.<
Agreed with #48, it's funny, embarrassing but it's natural and you can't really stop it x]
YDI for trying to impress him
And for picking someone that works physically with other people (yoga instructor) but isn't ok with how the human body works.
That.... is fucking gross.
that is so fucked up
#60 - On 06/26/2009 at 7:02pm by faaaiill
LOL, this is an awesome one.
Uhm. Ewww. D:
but it sounds like you're flexible, maybe he'll like that xD
Um. Yoga naturally does that to you... but nice going.
I wouldn't worry about it. Your instructor might be gay and wouldn't be interested in you anyway. Ya know, whatever makes you feel better.
Is your vag really that lose?
#69 - On 06/26/2009 at 7:22pm by lilcuti3pi389
That is fucking disgusting.
Embrace the genuine delicious queef.
omg ew
#75 - On 06/26/2009 at 7:36pm by pommeblossom
enough of this sexist crap... im a woman and i can honestly say if that happened in front of me i would gag too... gross is gross no matter who ya are... hilarious story tho! :D
my friend can make herself queef. hahahahhah.
that would be so embarassing.
he should get over it though.
its not like you could help it. ha.
For all you Americans reading this, 'queef' is pretty damn funny, isn't it? =p
ok! that's nasty, but if your excersing it really can't be helped.
RI
LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Hilarious.
that sent the same chill down my spine as the one when i met a clown dressed exactly like the one from the movie "It".
Maybe he gagged because you did the splits when he was going in for a handshake.
ewww did you use your vibrator before working out?
awesome haha definitly funny
YDI. He came over to GREET you, and you tried to show off/seduce by putting your leg over your head. I have no pity.
Agreed with 102.
xD and queefs aren't THAT bad. It happens with me and my bf sometimes and I just bust up laughing, as does he.
#106 - On 06/26/2009 at 10:28pm by FailBabee
That's just ... Funny! And pretty gross
oh god that is so embarrassing. When i first started dating my boyfriend, we were hanging out on a tennis court with some friends and I did a backbend in an attempt to impress him (fail, ik) and queefed sooo loudly. I wanted to scream I DID NOT FART- THAT WAS MY VAGINA
Well, if it's yoga... then she's just doing her yoga.
Hahaha :D Fucking hilarious(:
hahahahahahhaaaaa!!!!!!! not farted, but queefed. LOVE it!!!!!!!!! epic fail. sorry hun!!
It happens, (the Q's and the gag reflexes - depending on how close the other person is, etc). Maybe the gag reflex would've been bypassed if it were in the act. Also, I agree with #91.
Heehee. That's what happens when you try to show off in yoga. Bad karma...
ew you must have a really big vagina if you just randomly queef like that
Groooossss!!!
Man I love being a guy... I agree FYL
HAHAHA I had a HILARIOUS mental image XD
its not nasty. its embarrassing and it just happens. and they dont sound the same as farts. i mean its similar but its more like, airy sounding haha. its definitely one of the weirdest things a girls body can do though. it feels so awkward when it happens and you cant do anything about it haha.
Are you Australian? Because that was a great barrier queef. ;)
Oh my freaking god this is by far the best Fml bahahaha
hskxkejdjsmehduejad. sorry, i just threw up in my mouth a little
The one thing I don't get it why you lifted your leg over your head into a full split as he was walking to greet you... wouldn't you just talk to him, not make a weird pose?? ok sorry i just don't get it. I know you were in a yoga class, but still...
#131 - On 06/27/2009 at 12:52am by spirited_away33
Great tale of woe, but hold your head high - you did nothing wrong and besides, queefs are cute.
#132 - On 06/27/2009 at 1:03am by Tillman
that is really, really freaking gross
how could he even tell it was a queef not a fart? and yeah that's nastyy!
that's what you get for showing off
and the numbering is different if you're on the computer vs the phone application. #35 was #2 on my screen
ugh.. thats so nasty. D:
guhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Wow. I'm sorry. That really is a FML. On the plus side, you've got nowhere to go but up! So consider that the dude might have a sense of humor, and he might like you, and he might move on past the queef in a month or two.
Someone needs to look more into yoga philosophy and remember not to show off or compete.
excuse me, but I'm pretty sure queefs are one hundred times less audible than farts. how could he hear it unless he was face-to-vag?
Ooooh, you are SO wrong there :/ They can be really loud. It's awful -_-
Grrr, what is the average age of people posting here, for pete's sake? Embarassing? Yes. Gross? NO! it is just air trapped in a closed cavity, no smell, no nothing. Most women after intimacy queef a little when first getting up, and the *only* embarrassing thing about queefs is that it sounds like something else, which yes, is both rude and gross (coming from men as well, whether at a first date, or after 20 yrs of marriage)!. What makes me wonder, OP is that you chose a pretty original way of greeting him.
You've got to keep in mind that guys anymore are so girly that they freak out and lose their erection if they see a pubic hair, so a queef is definitely going to frighten them.
Are you a man or a woman?
A queef is a vagina-fart, so the OP is obviously a woman.
#149 - On 06/27/2009 at 8:24am by elfuzzo
omg that's my worst nightmare!!!! sucks that happened to you :/
Scuse me "#35" is rightfully #2 on the iPhone App, forgive his ignorance.
If you were cute i would think that was kinda sexy... lol as long as i know it was a queef and not a fart... but i would found that kinda hot
my bestie queefs on command AWESOME!
Should have told him it was trying to call his name.
Why is it that when a guy posts an FML about getting hard in an inappropriate place, everyone feels bad for him, but when a girl posts an FML about queefing, 11,000+ people say YDI? Guys on FML are seriously bitter.
Shouldn't he be used to that by now?
Oh My God. LMAO !! That is disgustingly hilarious !
But how embarrassing, FYI
How would u play that off?!? Lol " o i didnt fart i queefed." lol that would be creepier!
You should have just been like, "Got beef with my queef?"
HAHAHAHAH!!!!! I don't think I have laughed so hard all month!!!!!
Did you think that would make him attracted to you? You dumbass, that's just a way to gross him out.
haha wtf? how do u queef randomly like that and why would u put ur leg over head? loser u obviously don't know how to get a man haha
holy shit, i thought south park just made up queefing!
YDI for showing off your flexibility as you were being greeted. Just stand up, smile, and shake his hand. Not difficult. But FYL because of your luck.
Gross and weird...
#193 - On 06/30/2009 at 1:46am by boredlittlechild
pmsl. Woulda been easier to just introduce yourself though, as people say. A Yoga teacher isn't gonna be impressed by flexibility, but perhaps a straightforward 'hello' might get you closer to him..
#194 - On 06/30/2009 at 2:53pm by Tri
I have a queefer muffler.
You should have done it again, even louder
Oh man, I wish someone had caught this on tape!! You're my hero!
Yeah, alright, but why were you lifting your leg in the air when he was coming to greet you? I can't stand it when people get pretentious about their yoga moves.
hahahaha queefage. you guys must feel reaaaaaaaal cool fighting over spelling and grammer.
OP talks about her poon fart and the first comments are loaded with grammer Nazis.
I love the Internet.
what does YDI and OP mean?
I SHALL YOU CALL YOU QUEEFER KID!
yup...that's what i call mortifying
sorry it had to be you, glad it wasn't me!
That. Is. Fucking. Gross. Don't get me wrong, that's the funniest FML I've ever read but seriously....... sick :/
#205 - On 07/12/2009 at 8:33pm by saxiigirlie
haha thats so random that must really suck
@202: YDI means "you deserved it" and OP means "original poster"
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