Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36627) - you totally deserved it (11243)
On 06/03/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by Kyokushin (man) - United States (Florida)
(0)call the police. if they were theives, u would be dead if they had guns. u hit one, they will shootcha
#249 - On 03/15/2010 at 10:08pm by XYZzzzzzzz
(0)fyl...theey should learn how to makke it a surprise by not talkkkinnng duuhh hahhhahhhahha LOL
#7 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:06pm by peeeacceandlovve
(0)LOL. Who does that? Run in and hit what you can't see? People don't actually do that, do they?
#244 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:51pm by violentturtle
(0)i would id b screaming DIE YOU DEMON!!!!! then grab a bat if i didnt recognize them yet and id b screaming that because itd be awesomeand this should b Today, i was throwing a surprise party for my BF. he ran in and broke my cheekbone.FML
#247 - On 02/17/2010 at 11:51pm by qwertification
(0)I would be freaked out if I heard voices in my apartment. I'd probably just call 911 though..
#8 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:07pm by ohreally123
(0)Why would you just charge in there? One knife/gun would have stopped you in 2 seconds you dolt. You clearly couldn't even see the suspect enough.
(0)Well, you're not gonna go in, look at the the burglers and then take action, you want to suprise them. Also it's retaliation, first instinct of doing when you're suspecting something.
Hopefully your girlfriend is okay.
#10 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:07pm by Shinyminey
(0)They Deserve It for being sucky surprise party throwers. I mean you're suppose to hide for one and not make noise...
(0)epic. That made me laugh. Agreed with #11. They fail at the element of surprise.
#12 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:08pm by mouseintern
(0)If there were people in my apartment and it wasn't my birthday, I wouldn't heroically burst thru and attack them because I'm not so magnificent that I could fend all of them off. I'd call the cops.
#15 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:11pm by HeyThereGorgeous
(0)You have a nice arm LOL just explain it to her and she will probably understand
#16 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:11pm by gatorsxrule
(0)wtf is wrong with you? you're such a big guy, you think you're invincible or something? YDI for being a douce.
#17 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:11pm by 0geckofun_
lol she should have been hiding behind something haha
#20 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:12pm by slamdnkindrummer
(0)Correct thing to have done - Call 911, wait outside until they arrive, let them go in first. You could've been killed if there were thieves.
#23 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:15pm by jonnymohio
(0)Lol wat did u hit her with? Fire extinguisher? Suitcase? Kinda stupid if u went in unarmed.... Not relly an fml, more of a fhl
#24 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:16pm by koala_king
(0)Idiot!!! Why the hell would you just start hitting people??? Haven't u heard of thieves suing homeowners for injuries???
(0)Do you have nothing to live for? Rushing into the unknown with little regard for your well-being.
#27 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:19pm by EvilTonyBlair
(0)Her point of view would've made a much better FML. But still, kinda sad...
#28 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:19pm by BabaBlackShirt
(0)Somehow I don't think birthday sex is coming your way this year.
#29 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:19pm by thebigslim
(0)Well if you thought there was someone in your apartment why would you go in alone?
#31 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:20pm by tmcollins345
(0)90% of the comments on this one are stupid. fight or flight, it's instinct and he chose to fight. hope your girls face isn't too jacked up tho! lmao
#32 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:20pm by seroose
(0)totally FYL. no one deserves this. hah. i agree with #32. i would punch someone too man!
#37 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:26pm by srpkinja31
(0)YDI. you should always look at what you're hitting before you hit it. and if it was your birthday you really should've thought that it could've been a surprise party. but it's ok. i'm sure your girlfriend will forgive you. just explain what happened. things like that happen. don't worry too much about it. if your girlfriend is really a good person, she'll understand what happened
(0)Hope she's okay, but if some one was in my house randomly I wouldn't have been ninja and broke someones face
#47 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:40pm by LiangPeiJie
(0)You already made yourself look like an ass, so you should have yelled "GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN" just for fun.
(0)FYL. This is one of the many reasons that surprise parties are stupid, although if I heard multiple people moving around I definitely wouldn't have gone in unarmed.
#50 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:43pm by regalarius
(0)You did nothing wrong! Don't listen to all these chickens that would wait for the police to arrive, by then the burglers would have left from the back. +1 for hitting the first thing you saw!
Don't know where everyone gets the idea that burglers all carry knives or guns on them.
(0)Paranoia plays a big part in this, do you want all of your items, or do you want to be alive? The OP obviously was keen after looking after their property. Fight or Flight definatly does describe this case.
But also, if there was a special occasion that happened today(ie Birthday), wouldn't you have had seconds thoughts about someone throwing a suprise for you.
The chances of being burgled on your birthday are 1 in....alot :)
So you're a dumb idiot not knowing it was your birthday :)
#53 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:45pm by Shinyminey
(0)It's understandable though. I probably would do the same thing.
#55 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:49pm by cheese1756
Wow. If u thought it was thieves, y wuld u try to be the hero anyways. 911 guy...
#58 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:51pm by
(0)Wow... I can tell you're smooth with the ladies... Haha. Oh well... I guess it makes sence
#59 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:51pm by cardsfan09
(0)lol maybe you could have thought of that if it was your birthday
lol dumb ass
#60 - On 06/03/2009 at 5:53pm by fcukstylez
(0)its just a natural reaction i give him thumbs up for having that much balls... the whole gf punching thing that sucks...
#64 - On 06/03/2009 at 6:07pm by leprechaundaddy
(0)Dude... Does ur apt have so valuable stuff that ppl rob ?
cant u distinguish a gal from a guy???
so sad....
(0)lol to much ninja skills straight away with a headshot lol wouldve owned the burglar if there was one well good to know that you have it inside yourself to have what it takes when it comes to a situation like that.
#69 - On 06/03/2009 at 6:15pm by ownedlol
(0)Thats f'n hilarious sux to be your girl though......remember cunnilingus works wonders for forgiveness :D
For everbody saying he's an idiot for rushing in ready to own some thieves, maybe the OP is well trained in martial arts, or some other form of hand to hand combat. That or he's just not a pansy thats willing to let someone take his stuff without a fight. Calling the cops takes time and time was of the essence. Most common thieves would rather run away rather than stay and fight someone who comes in cracking skulls. They want no part of someone like that. Why? Because if he's crazy enough to do that then he's crazy enough to kill them without hesitation or at the very least maim them for life. I say kudos to the OP for not being a punk and defending his house. At least he didn't lay waste to the whole party and realized what was going on after his one hitter quitter.
#72 - On 06/03/2009 at 6:16pm by razzumfrazzum
(0)Today, I was throwing a surprise party for my boyfriend. He thought we were thieves, so he hit me and broke my cheekbone. FML
(0)makes as much sense as anything. Yu don't com into a man's home while he's gone and yu don't make noise if yu're throwin a surprise party!.. They all fail.
#83 - On 06/03/2009 at 6:28pm by YungMarlon23
(0)and #82, it may hav still been at a point where yu can see well enough witout lights, jus turnin dem on to see who yu hit or how it looked is always easier. Yur first piece of logic on that matter is a giant piece of crap and a fail rolled into a worthless crappy fail pile.
#86 - On 06/03/2009 at 6:32pm by YungMarlon23
(0)it'd really REALLY be an FML if you were arrested for domestic violence lol
#82--are you a homosexual?
(0)LOL
What's so hard about keeping quiet for a surprise party? Jeez, noobs.
#88 - On 06/03/2009 at 6:33pm by MIAMIBITCH
(0)To everyone saying how did u know they weren't armed, just think. He wasn't home so they probably wouldn't have been expecting company. But idk. I mean there is a difference between burglary and robbery
(0)Who gives a shit about surprise parties anymore? What are you 15? Punch your girlfriend again for not thinking and acting like a typical woman. You know since she did such an "Awesome" Thing for you you have to pay it back 10 fold. FUCK I'll punch your girlfriend for you.
#91 - On 06/03/2009 at 6:45pm by WomboCombo
(0)"Today, I held a surprise party for my boyfriend in his apartment. He walked in and punched me in the face, breaking my cheek bone. FML."
(0)I say YDI only because you said "ready to fight some thieves" Lmfao.
#93 - On 06/03/2009 at 6:50pm by kristindabomb
(0)Hmm what's all my friend's cars at my house I must be being robbed.
#96 - On 06/03/2009 at 6:57pm by Daniel4543
(0)#1 and #13
stop being jerks, don't judge.
And I'm sorry Hun :( If my house was supposed to be empty I'd flip out to.
(0)"Today, I was throwing a surprise party for my boyfriend. When he came in, he thought we were thieves. He broke my cheek bone. FML"
(0)for those saying "oh, hope your girlfriend's okay!" - she's NOT okay, she has a broken cheekbone! Kind of a big deal, most likely will require surgery if it's at all displaced...
(0)#82, you should just enjoy the FML instead of writing a frickin' essay.
OP: Haha you're a dumbass, but it's instinct I guess so FYL.
#103 - On 06/03/2009 at 7:06pm by shaBAMalex
(0)#81 do you not something else to do than write a 5 page essay on this fml?
#107 - On 06/03/2009 at 7:08pm by volleyballgirl16
(0)#94--hey, it wasn't meant as a derogatory thing, i just cannot see a straight man caring enough about an FML to write an essay...
(oh, and btw, different pussy every night, thank you) (well, not EVERY night, but close enough)
(0)Dude y would u want to see his cock he probly has a much better pussybut I feel really bad for him ... He hit his gf I bet u she broke up with him
(0)OMG hahahaha I bet she wanted 2 kill u lmao...sorry for her & embarassing 4 da both of u...at least it not a punk ass who ran away lol
#113 - On 06/03/2009 at 7:28pm by TriNiBaByDoLL
(0)Well, at least you dont carry a gun....a little bit more awkward to lay someone out at a surprise party....sucks it had to be your girl. And for that I would say fml.
(0)You should never enter your house if you think someone is inside. Is it worth saving your laptop and TV if you get shot in the face by the robber?
(0)Look at the bright side...it seems you have a nice punch...lol. But yeah, I agree with number #117, it would have sucked a lot more if your post ended like this "and now I'm going to court for homicide".
(0)Am i the only one to notice whenever you sneak into someones apartment and attempt a surprise party, They won't be the one suprised?
#120 - On 06/03/2009 at 7:35pm by GloomySkyz
(0)If you heard noise on your birthday, wouldn't you know it's a party?
#126 - On 06/03/2009 at 7:46pm by familyguyfan
(0)You are fuckin stupid. Did you forget it was your birthday, cuz who would ever suspect a surprise party right? you could obviously see your girlfriends face to hit it, so how could you not realize, hey, maybe it's not a burglar and maybe I'll
Say something out loud. Lastly don't u yell surprise when someone enters? DUMBASS
#128 - On 06/03/2009 at 7:50pm by lilyungmatt
(0)that's why i don't think surprise parties should be held in the person's home: they work best set up in a friend's home, and then that friend finds an excuse to invite the person over... i'm always afraid something like this will happen.
#129 - On 06/03/2009 at 7:50pm by lalalala1234
(0)Why are people clicking YDI? He didn't know what was going on. I might have done the same thing if I heard someone in my house.
#131 - On 06/03/2009 at 7:52pm by xThatRandomGirlx
(0)and you didnt suspect that your gf (who apparently has your apt key) could be inside your apt and making noises?
(0)#11, I really hope you're kidding because that is such a douchebag thing to say. No one deserves to be punched in the face because they were trying to do something nice.
It's your birthday idiot, if it was any other day then I'd agree that you were right, but clearly your just oblivious. YDI. Hope ur GF's face heals nicely. Hope you die...
#136 - On 06/03/2009 at 7:58pm by dphilipson
(0)... At least she didn't leave you because you're weak.
#137 - On 06/03/2009 at 8:01pm by SniperSten
(0)SURPRISE! i'll get the car for the emergency room
#138 - On 06/03/2009 at 8:06pm by mylifeisfuckeddd
(0)#139-not really, I'm afraid
OP: Thats sucks ASS alot, strong arm though
#140 - On 06/03/2009 at 8:42pm by scateice
(0)Punching random people is never a good idea. And how many theives did you think u could take?
#142 - On 06/03/2009 at 8:46pm by Guyoverhere
(0)They were thieves, they stole your sense of security.
I'm starting to think that surprise parties aren't always such a great idea.
Unlucky buddy.
HHAHAHAHAHAHAH! OMG!!! good thin it wasn't a stun gun of pepper spray! Hahah
#149 - On 06/03/2009 at 9:21pm by
(0)Haha sucks for u I walked on my family with a knife before been there done that LOL
#150 - On 06/03/2009 at 9:23pm by AvengedSevenfold
(0)FYL. You did nothing wrong. Everybody on here knows that they'd be ready to knock someone's head off if they thought there were burglars in their house.
(0)YDI for having a girlfriend, DTB and get your game back
#153 - On 06/03/2009 at 9:30pm by nizmotuner
(0)FYL. i don't think you did anything wrong and if your throwing a surprise party your not supposed to be making noise anyway.
if you're a big guy and you know you can take someone the element of surprise would definitely have given you the upper hand. also people have been watching too many movies if they think every thief who breaks into an EMPTY house has a gun. half the time they're just junkies looking for some cash/something they can sell for drugs (i've met people who used to do this).
at least you didn't stab your girlfriend or something. that would have been way worse. i forget who but someone kind of famous was shot and killed by his wife when he came back early from a business trip, she thought he was an intruder.
#157 - On 06/03/2009 at 9:50pm by lovelikewar
(0)I call fake, I don't know of anyone dumb enough to charge into their place when they think there are armed robbers in there; assuming you had a cell phone on you, most likely you would have called 911 instead.
(0)holly shit that sucks sorry to hear that. u shouldve recognized her voice though or at least asked whose there?
Are you like a Ninja always prepared for theives or do you like never invite people over????
#165 - On 06/03/2009 at 10:22pm by
(0)"Today, a bunch of my boyfriend's friends and I decided to throw him a surprise party, and right when he opened the door he ran in and punched my face VERY hard. I now have a broken cheek-bone. FML"
(0)Haha that was funny but if they were theives y would u run in there an start hitting them
#171 - On 06/03/2009 at 10:59pm by HaHa_Sux4_U
(0)Wow it sure was a surprise for her! I would of done the same, good luck explaining it to her parents!
(0)For all you people saying you would have called the cops, wouldn't you feel like a complete idiot for having the cops come in your apartment and find out it's a surprise party?? Either way it made a good fml.
What a crap surprise party. They couldn't even keep quiet >_>
#180 - On 06/03/2009 at 11:45pm by danineteen
(0)Why the hell are people saying YDI? If any one of you people heard noises coming from what is supposed to be your empty apartment, you'd react the same way. And the OP never stated it was his birthday; it very well could have been a belated party or for something totally different, but I know whatever it was wouldn't be the first thing on my mind upon hearing intruders.
#94, you said, "YDI for being so PARANOID," but wouldn't you be, too? "Oh, people in my house when it's supposed to be empty? Psh, it's probably nothing!" Idiot.
And #135, you have a friggin' death wish against the guy; what the hell is wrong with you?
#181 - On 06/03/2009 at 11:45pm by splitsides
(0)Good thing you don't keep a loaded shotgun next to your bed.
#182 - On 06/03/2009 at 11:49pm by cthulhu1138
(0)Sweet, if you really do practice kyokushin your gradings probably were/is going to be quick work. But yeah a lot of people saying YDI are retarded themselves.
(0)hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha That was awesome teh very suckage though lol
#164 best comment EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha donkey punch!!
(0)at least u had da balls to defend ur place. hope it didbt stop u from partying naked and gettin wasted
#189 - On 06/04/2009 at 12:31am by hiv_positive_fml
(0)Why do people have to write such long comments - noone wants to read 6 pages of shit!
YDI, I hope she broke up with you.
(0)I honestly don't blame you. If I came home alone and there were noises, I'd beat the crap out of whoever then ask questions later. I mean its a basic survival instinct..
It would have been pretty funny if they got it all on the video..
#194 - On 06/04/2009 at 1:07am by verstecktergeist
(0)Obviously YDI!!! You heard many voices not just 1 or 2 where have you seen that 20 or 30 thiefs break into an appartment.
Or this is fake or you are an idiot
(+1)What is wrong with the commenters here? The OP had to have opened his door and probably start to enter before he heard noises, so he was already, at least partially, inside the apartment. At that point, turning and running could get you hurt if you're followed. If you're expecting an empty place, and then there's somebody IN THE DARK right next to you it's not that strange to just lash out. Why would you wait to look? THAT'S when you get stabbed or shot.
Or maybe they didn't think that waiting 30 minutes to 3 hours (depending on the neighborhood) for the cops to come because then the burglars would have taken all of his shit and chances are, it would never come back.
You don't have to be a ninja to react like that. Animals react like that. It's called adrenaline.
#199 - On 06/04/2009 at 1:29am by pleasetryagain
(0)You're an idiot... just assuming it's thieves and hitting stuff. And what exactly did you expect to do if it was robbers? Get the shit beat out of you most likely, or even shot. If you SUSPECT that someone might be stealing from you just assuming that you're right and hitting shit is the dumbest thing you can do.
(0)i lol'd! YLF and but your gf's is more... wait, what was the party for, if it was your b-day than you shoulda known when you heard ppl...
#205 - On 06/04/2009 at 4:33am by glamourful
(0)Umm...I'm definitley gonna say YDI YDI YDI!!!!!!
I mean come on people?! If the girlfriend and all the other folks were in his apartment...that means someone must have had a freaking KEY! And if my S/O has a key to my apartment and I come home and someone's there...the first thing I'm gonna assume is it's them and not thieves...
And if they didn't have a key that means your door was unlocked, so YDI. If you had a window open that is easy to climb into, still YDI. If you have a roommate you live with, still YDI cause it could have been him who's home...
Yea...your poor girlfriend...you're freaking paranoid.
#206 - On 06/04/2009 at 5:43am by Puolukka
(0)The friends must have had a spare key, or possibly the girlfriend had a key to the place. That fact alone should lead the OP to realise that they may well be people in his home when he doesn't expect them, and he shouldn't be so quick to lash out.
Especially over stuff. He would risk his life to save his property. His property must be incredibly important, or his life must be utterly worthless.
(0)Wow. I'm all for dealing with things yourself before calling the cops - but seriously? A room FULL of people and you go in swinging? Sounds like you have some kind of anger issues, or mental problems, or something.
#210 - On 06/04/2009 at 10:25am by FreedomFirst
(0)Your girlfriend obviously has keys to your apartment but you expected to be alone?
It was too dark to see their faces but yet they somehow could see what they were stealing?
You're obviously not very bright.
(0)Had this been an actual robbery, you could have gotten shot, stabbed, or had your skull cracked. Try calling the cops next time.
#218 - On 06/04/2009 at 3:04pm by FoundManyLemons
(0)Coulda woulda shoulda.......or he could've ownd some punk ass thief. The common house thief is often a weak minded individual that would be too scared to confront another hostile individual let alone pull a trigger. Especially since he had the element of surprise on his side.
#219 - On 06/04/2009 at 3:23pm by razzumfrazzum
(0)That's freaking hilarious! And fuck those comments about this being your fault. The apartment is suppose to be empty I wouldve done the same thing.
#221 - On 06/04/2009 at 3:55pm by machoflaco
(0)agreed 221. His girlfriend shouldn't break up with him, and anyone that says they hope she does is just fucked up; you should never hope for another human being's important relationships to end.
they fail at the element of surprise, you win at apocalypse preparedness.
(0)lmfao omgsh that sucks
next time turn the lights on first u wouldnt have been able to see them if they attacked u anyway
#225 - On 06/04/2009 at 9:45pm by bambition7
(0)i wouldve done the same thing buddy im not gonna let people steal shit from my apartment... how were u supposed to know they were throwing a surprise party and there wasnt thieves in ur apartment? u did the right thing
(0)lol i bet he had a few ounces of cronic in his appartment and didnt want to call the cops..
and to all the sally's saying they would wait and call the cops, if some1 was robbing my stuff, id bust in like a psycho, and try and knock at least one of em out, and hope the others flee, that way when the cops do come hopefully that dipshit will roll on his boys. (disclaimer, i do not have ounces of cronic, do not rob me, ur ill fuk you up) *_*
(0)Good job dude, you could not just leave and call the cops, right? You had to play superman.
People like you are the reason other people want to take away our rights to protect ourselves.
Not to mention, if you did this to thieves they could sue you for assault, and they would be doing the right thing, because you were not threatened and therefore had no excuse to be violent. No, protecting your belongings is not an excuse to hurt someone (and that's coming from someone who deeply believes and supports the right to self-defense and self-protection, so I'm not a pacifist hippie or anything like that).
I also hope your girlfriend dumped you. I wouldn't try to get attached to someone who risks their life so stupidly.
#229 - On 06/05/2009 at 12:10pm by UsingLogic
(0)Sucks to be you. Lesson learned? You can't handle surprises |D
#231 - On 06/05/2009 at 1:49pm by at0micmin3r
(0)why would you automatically assume that there were thieves in your apartment?
#232 - On 06/05/2009 at 3:52pm by lisafannypack
(0)Why the hell would you just rush into danger like that!? Are you completely insane and/or stupid? Seriously, multiple thieves with weapons + you assaulting them = you being dead
#233 - On 06/05/2009 at 4:31pm by Funny_Face
(0)Hahaha...that must have been an awkward moment of silence!
By the way, burglars usually aren't armed. It is one thing to steal money and stuff, but something completely different to kill someone. At least it's like that in Germany, because we have very strict weapon laws here. Maybe it's different in countries where burglars have to expect to be shot, so that they therefore believe to have nothing to lose.
(0)is it better for this to happen or to actually get robbed on your birthday? that would be a good question for those "what would you choose" games.
#235 - On 06/05/2009 at 7:48pm by amazingkate
(0)that is just too funny, how did u explain it to your GF "i thought you were a thief"
#236 - On 06/06/2009 at 1:46am by Shocolate_Shet
(0)i didn't know there was such thing
calleda cheekbone
god i must be out of it
#237 - On 06/06/2009 at 9:30am by LittlexoMe
(0)Meh, i wouldve stretched than ran inside and yelled like bruce lee :D plus i do taekwon do so im good. But its a good thing u were prepared. If it werent ur frienes u wouldve gotten mugged. FYL
#238 - On 06/06/2009 at 10:03pm by BlueLettuce
(0)Agreed with #73.
Also he never said it was a surprise bday party, it could have been a work promotion, anniversary, vasectomy etc.
She'll be right, now she knows whats coming next time.
(0)i lol'ed at: 'so i entered ready to fight some thieves'
you sound like the cheesiest person.
#243 - On 08/23/2009 at 5:24am by Kupokupupo
(0)1. You could have said FINISH HER!!! and broke her neck, or ripped her in half to follow up the cheek bone and break the tension.
2. I don't know why, but the imagery of a guy running into a dark room and leveling a chick is just funny to me... I'm sick, I know.. lol.
3. For everyone saying entering unarmed was stupid, picture this... He runs into the room and fires a round into the first person he saw, then the lights come on and he gets scared from that and empties the rest of his clip into the other guests. (This would happen because he didn't hesistate to punch someone) That fml would end more along the lines of being molested in his butthole instead of possibly losing his gf.
So all in all he probably did what's best in this lose-lose situation.. lol OP Meth is a hell of a drug!!
BTW sorry for the novel of a comment. I'm really bored at work. lol
(0)Epic Fail on your girlfriend's part. She hid so poorly you could walk in and just drop her without even being able to see? Was she just hiding in the middle of the room behind a lamp or something?
#252 - On 05/08/2010 at 2:07am by youhaveitezpz
