Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out my last roommate had been stacking her empty wine bottles under the sink for the last 5 months. The cleaning lady who found them now thinks I'm an alcoholic, and threatened to report me to my landlord. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, I found out my friends replaced the water in my bottle with vodka when all my fish died. Any water I don't finish the night before, I pour into my tank the next morning. Thousands of dollars and years hard work, gone. FML
Today, my landlord emailed me, stating that she hasn't been receiving my rent. After some investigation, I found out she's been using the money to buy booze, and hasn't been putting it into the house owner's account. FML
Today, my niece stole a bottle of whiskey from me to mix with Monster and get drunk with her boyfriend. It was a bottle of 23-year-old Pappy Van Winkle's that cost over $2000. FML
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, I found out my roommate has been cheating me out of hundreds of dollars when I finally obtained records of the past year's electric bills, which are in her name. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
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Top comments
thxnder 14
Get your roommate to pay you back then, OP. Or you may want to get them some serious drinking help...
MrCareless 17
Find another roommate OP.
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Comments (61)
MrCareless 17
Find another roommate OP.
ItsJustMe1616 26
Agreed! Something tells me that OPs roommate isn't exactly the most intelligent person. If she keeps stealing little bits at a time and then replacing it with water, she ends up stealing the watered down liquor... My guess is one of two things is going on. 1, either OPs roommate stole a bunch at once and then added water (in which case OP just misunderstood the situation when posting this) or 2, OPs roommate is stupid for stealing little bits at a time and then continuing to steal the watered down liquor lol
JJ_86 22
Good thing you found out OP. It would have been embarassing if you gave the gift without knowing. And now make your roomie pay for a new one.
thxnder 14
Get your roommate to pay you back then, OP. Or you may want to get them some serious drinking help...
Sangue0608 26
I'd say both.
chickenfeet223 11
Sneaky little thief :p
spoo 24
Or do what I did. I had a room mate who did this to me who had an allergy. The next time they mooched off my stuff they had a breakout :) They stopped doing it
Metagame 12
I have allergies, life-threatening at that... I'll never steal.
sempisaviour 17
Your roommate needs to take a long walk off a short pier.
flurpiee 14
Why can't all roommates just be respectful of your own stuff ugh.
sempisaviour 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Because they're selfish by nature. Everyone is selfish by nature. Are you too stupid to realize that? Go take a few philosophy classes.
flurpiee 14
Calm down there, no need to get feisty.
savs11 13
Surprisingly not everyone is selfish and rude enough to steal their roommates stuff.
ItsJustMe1616 26
Is it just me or does anyone else get the feeling that 14 may be one of those roommates? I mean I could be completely wrong. Animosity could just be strong in this one over experiencing a really horrible roommate. Ether way sorry OP that really effin sucks! FYL for sure.
iann32 10
piss in empty corona or tequila bottles. they'll never know.
elmatador615 12
#70 now why would you want to do that?
Dollwitha45 6
So that the roommate will drink the piss without knowing it and get a little taste of payback.
Metagame 12
Honestly, if they don't know, is there much of a point? I mean, keeping the secret is difficult sometimes, especially when you desire a reaction.
HedgeSquid 18
I would talk to him/her about it. Hopefully they'll have a change of mind.
ItsJustMe1616 26
Something tells me that they can't really change their mind here and return the stolen (and consumed) alcohol lol but! They could hopefully replace it with the exact some bottle! (brand new of course)
lexiieeex3 32
Somehow I don't think giving them an encouraging talk will stop them.
omgcyndaquil 23
Leave empty bottles around and fill em with urine. Boom.
singer0421 32
Yes, because bottles are empty when filled with piss.
flurpiee 14
And because it isn't very obvious when something has pee in it...
davidisbeast 12
If OP drinks large amounts of water her pee will be clear, which could be mistaken for alcohol
hokie16 13
Even if you don't drink a lot, your pee can still be the same color as a lot of beer and different liquors.
9echo 17
Nineteen eighty-pee...a good year.
glabberfasted 16
I've seen pee that looks like wine. It can come in all sorts of fun colors. Green, cranberry juice-looking, blue... It can definitely look like a light beer. Dumb and Dumber taught us that.
iann32 10
piss in empty corona or tequila bottles. they'll never know lol
ohSNAPyall 26
If your pee looks like cranberry juice, see a doctor immediately.
HeyTherexxx 21
Can't beets and a few other select foods make your urine a pinkish-reddish color though?
icnburbbygrl 23
Chocolate laxative in brownies. You're welcome :)
sempisaviour 17
Lolwut?
icnburbbygrl 23
Bake brownies but put chocolate laxatives in the batter...
botanistjessica 24
What are chocolate laxatives?
BradTheBrony 19
Laxatives that are chocolate. What the **** did you think they were?
nlm92 15
Replace their water with vodka...
devin_t_s 5
Who really wins in that situation?
sempisaviour 17
How can she do that when her vodka is getting stolen?
nlm92 15
I guess so, the initial reaction would make a good vine though aha. Maybe salt water would work better anyway
sempisaviour 17
Lol salt water
Mauskau 35
Why does everything have to be filmed to go online?
Sangue0608 26
Who said anything about being filmed?
nlm92 15
#57 nobody, I just thought it would make a good video...
singer0421 32
You might want to find a new place, either hidden or inaccessible to her, to store any alcohol. I'm thinking a mini fridge or cabinet with a lock.
pazuzus_intern 10
I'd kick her out then and there, but I have zero tolerance for stealing. If it's not an option, I'd refil the bottle with vinegar. Nasty shock for her if she does it again.
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
Yea i guess you could say there would definatly be full of vinegar Come on anyone gets the reference? Please??
Miss_Whipped 43
If your comment made even a shred of sense, then perhaps. But as far as I can tell, I don't see the reference.