Anonymous
United States
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
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123roomielover
United States
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
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Today, I woke up to my roommate glaring at me. Apparently, I was sleep-talking again, but last night I apparently shouted, “You’ll never find the bodies!” multiple times. He’s been sleeping with his door locked since. FML
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Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
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Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
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Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
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Top comments
mmyoung979 14
Jesus Christ, that's scary.
ItsMeDiegoG 8
At least she wasn't sacrificing you to Satan.
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Comments (123)
mmyoung979 14
Jesus Christ, that's scary.
Cassmoneyyy 15
Sounds like something my grandmother would do.
x3jmac27 22
How does that work if you are in bed sleeping?
BubbleGrunge 18
I was raised in a church that up until recent decades, use to handle snakes. Waking up to parents and others standing over you, arms out stretched and whispering prayers and gibberish, though a common occurrence, is indeed scary!
vehementbitch 4
Rosary?
then000bster 16
What were they trying to baptize OP as? In the name of the goat, pineapple and airplane?
GEBEH 14
Nel nome del padre, del figlio e dello spirito santo, amen!
katt_is_here 24
LOL I like you, #1.
FiFiLovee 26
Its better than being woken up to a crazy roommate attempting to sacrifice you.. o_O
jessicarenee_x 4
lol that would be scary as hell
Xotoolyxo 16
May god be with you?
jojimugo 20
**** that ....RUN
juan3611 14
God is with him, he sent that messenger.
tararochelle 18
And with your spirit :)
olpally 32
The power of Christ compels you! Time for a new roommate btw. What an idiot.
miggles 16
I think religion is alright as long as you don't shove beliefs onto other people.
jmann8811 15
Does it? Does it compel him? Because it's not that compelling
Codezlol 21
Haha 72. Such a great movie.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Shoving beliefs on people? This is worse than that... It's kind of a form of legitimate religious rape...
bhou56 7
Was it a full body baptism or just water on the head? If it was a full body one, then you better watch out OP!
MrSassypants 33
Actually, it involved no water at all. The roommate figured that since you can't breathe underwater, and you can't breathe under a pillow, a pillow over OP's head would suffice.
ItsMeDiegoG 8
At least she wasn't sacrificing you to Satan.
persianninja 23
Always remember there is an upside OP
Chris9616 12
I think you found the one silver lining in this .-.
mac8080 7
We don't know if its a he or she
Deathghat 5
...I'll take that as a yes *goes on with whole precedure* and now I baptize you in the name if the father, the son and the Holy Spirit. *starts pouring pales of water all over him.* "DUDE WHAT THE **** GET OUT!" "But I was trying to baptize you and save your soul..."
JoseIsAdork 31
excuse me sleeping roommate, do you have a second to talk about our lord Jesus Christ?
challan 19
if not, let me leave the good news under your pillow and some holy water on your head.
Dawnstempest 17
@6 I will take your silence as confirmation that you do. If you do not say anything I will also assume that you agree to a Baptism.
MasqueradePrince 25
Hopefully you find a new room mate...
challan 19
his roommate is now Jesus. eternally.
SMHsohard 22
You're lucky, it could have been a circumcision.
kaytasha 18
Your are right, it definitely could have been worse
NotABadName 9
No sacrifice to god is scary because with satanic sacrifices you cut out the heart and paint a pentagram around the body with the blood and also cut inverted cross in where the heart was. A sacrifice to god they slit the throat and burn the body then your apartment or flat would have burnt down.
Welshite 39
You seem to know too much about sacrificing things.
evan_7899 28
#9 do you have any insight on how to sacrifice to Alla?
MichaelDeSanta 20
Either way I wouldn't want to be sacrificed!
NotABadName 9
#19 No I did not look into it but I will to others that say I know to much about sacrifice I like to study religions and cultures that were and are based around religion.
NotABadName 9
Also #19 it's spelt Alah with a capital A.
ElricMustang 23
It's also spelled "Allah" with two "l's"
Welshite 39
It's Allah with two "l"s. Edit: #38 got there first.
dmd316 9
An upside down cross is actually Saint Peter's cross. The satanic cross is much more complex looking with loops and infinity looking symbols. The upside down cross is misconceived to be satanic because of pop culture such as scary movies and bands that wanted to be edgy.
Meettitan 14
The Romans would also occasionally crucify people on an upside down cross.
NotABadName 9
We'll I did mean the cross of lucifer not the cross of St.Peter #60 forgot that there's two versions.
WilliMo 8
When they were feeling particularly cruel or the prisoner had done something truly, horrifically heinous (ie. committed treason, murdered their family, a group of unrelated persons or "raped" an officials wife, then yes, inverted crucifixion was a suitable form of punishment.
sexysaltshaker 11
Well I've heard of creepy and then there's...that.