Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Jerk
Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML
Say it, don't spray it
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Use the force
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Creeped out
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
WHO ARE YOU?
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Help yourself
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
There was an attempt…
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
BIKES?!
Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML
No good deed…
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
The struggle
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Top comments
samimarie199 22
I guess you were robbed blind
CaliLoveFire 23
never fall asleep on public transport
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Comments (48)
EyeOfTheSt0rm 10
YDI for sleeping on a subway
JohnTheLad 13
It's funny how you changed your post bro. Perhaps OP had a very good reason for drifting off.
russfml 31
If I fell asleep on a shows if never expect someone to steal glasses. Ya they are expensive but they are made with your prescription and face adjustments lol
mohamed_H 21
Well you can sleep all you want if you are with someone, but do not dare to sleep alone. :p
NeatNit 32
OP is lucky they didn't steal something more valuable... like a purse.
Bano360 25
#1 doubt you'd understand that OP probably had a long day in work and was tired after. Happens to me after college sometimes.
DrippingSarcasm 20
Exactly #25 my mom lost her reading glasses while walking to a store and she found them hanging on a pillar by someone's house. Two weeks later.
KawaiiCupcake 14
All the things that could of been stolen... Why glasses?
glitterkuro 18
#35 Glasses can be pretty expensive. Mine were £200 and I couldn't afford to buy them myself. My Mum kindly bought them for me and I'm now being really careful not to lose or break them. They're definitely worth more than the contents of my purse.
CaliLoveFire 23
never fall asleep on public transport
OtakuKev 7
Yeah, don't fall asleep, just pretend to. Then you can catch the mother ******* and go alucard on there ass's.
EyeOfTheSt0rm 10
@39 Your comment made me laugh so ******* hard.
buddy_J 16
I can't believe people actually steal glasses. I found out that people will steal glasses so they can sell the frames to somebody else that likes them when I forgot my glasses at college and try we're never turned in. Person at Tempe lost and found told me that after I check back for the 5th time
Christala 8
"Never take public transit." FTFY.
JohnTheLad 13
You woke up blind.
WCARlover 34
I would never dare to fall asleep on public transportation..not only would I probably miss my stop, but also be missing all my belongings D: Just be glad that's all they took? :p
Kamon97 23
Since OP is from Canada I have a feeling this happened in Toronto the people that take the public transit here are some of the most bitter freakshows you'll ever see ._.
glitterkuro 18
I've fallen asleep on a bus before and believe me it was not intentional. I was only a few minutes away from my stop as well, didn't expect to suddenly fall asleep, but it happened and I ended up missing my stop and ending up having to ride the whole bus route until the bus turned around. When you're really properly exhausted, sometimes you just can't avoid it. Normally I'm paranoid as hell but on this occasion I was so tired I couldn't even think straight.
wingedangel123 8
That would make sense...if OP lives in Ontario, not BC. On a side note, I'm now scared about having to ride the Toronto subway next year for when I start university ._.
samimarie199 22
I guess you were robbed blind
ironmany_fml 23
Awwww Yeah.... Oh wait... where are my glasses...
ThorPowaa 19
Be careful when riding a subway OP. Hopefully they weren't RayBans
happylappy 21
RayBans are not even that expensive
Pwib 14
Guess you didn't see that coming!
nickdunbar 8
I hate how this one gets down voted. just cause he got ninja'd
KasiaLilith 13
Yeah now we are forced to read all of the comments before giving our own piece of mind, just in case somebody else had the same opinion..
cricketsins 36
If that is all that's missing, you should consider yourself lucky.
lessavii 2
glasses are more expensive than phones or bags or clothing, so they did take one of the most needed and expensive items.
Zebediabolical 43
I don't know where you're getting your glasses. Mine are significantly cheaper than a cellphone or tablet or most of the other items I carry in my laptop bag on a reasonably regular basis.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
10- What glasses are you buying? mine only cost $250. My phone was at least $300 more.
Fuhkyoo 17
there is a website where you can get prescriptions glasses for like 20 bucks, if you paid 300 you got bent over. i dont know the site name since i dont need em but im sure a quick google will get you right there
edanielleh 21
my glasses are for sure the most expensive thing i have on me! that being said i am a semi-broke college kid with a really old iphone. 200 bucks is a lot of money for some people!
babyshanice 12
That was some hard sleeping if they took them off your face! Maybe sleep with one eye open?
allie2590 31
While gripping your pillow tight!
J_Kertz 14
...Exit light ;)
bfsd42 20
Enter night.
Vanillanougat 14
As they say, hindsight is 20/20. Best of luck, OP.