Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering, "You want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were telling each other secrets, so I told him I shaved my upper lip. He said, "I know, it's prickly when we make out." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML
Today, I went to the hair salon to cut 6 inches off my hair. When I got there, I decided to get my upper lip waxed for the first time. When my boyfriend came to pick me up for our date, I asked if he noticed anything different about me, the first thing he said was, "I see you got rid of your mustache." FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped a waxing strip on my beard because she is sick of quarantine and wanted to lash out at someone. FML
Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML
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Top comments
zoso008 7
That would be called a mustache.she doesn't know the difference and doesn't appreciate it? Tell her to GTFO!
Pleonasm 35
I'd listen to her before she paints over your van.
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Comments (105)
zoso008 7
That would be called a mustache.she doesn't know the difference and doesn't appreciate it? Tell her to GTFO!
thatnucca 36
Come OP, I'll point you the direction of Ke$ha...
TheCanucklehead 22
Who needs a mustache? Fear The Beard
caitlinbblack 14
Maybe op is a female. And didn't want to call it a mustache.?
austinj776 3
I would be like when you shave your chest hair first out loud
diabian 9
Dude! Give her a break... She is from Greece! English isn't her first language!
FlashBurn 13
OP is female, in case you didn't notice. Last I remember, women who are into that don't go for other women that are hairy...
Pleonasm 35
I'd listen to her before she paints over your van.
zed34 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Correct her that you have a mustache. Then tell her a man cannot call himself a MAN without facial hair or full grown beard!
Batterypost 23
Please note that OP is a woman.
domking1315 20
In #3's defense, I didn't notice that OP was a girl until you pointed it out
chelseaaababyyy 17
I checked the gender after i read 'alleged upper lip hair'.
rdenkewicz 11
Look at the sex! She's a girl dumbass
michelleJ11 25
We've covered that, #28. It's time to move on.
caitlinbblack 14
How do you see someone's gender.? I can't click on anything
NeatNit 32
in the app, it appears as a male or female symbol in the upper-left corner. in the website, it appears below the FML: ... by username (woman). more on topic: lesbian couple? I've seen cases where the FML information isn't correct, might have been a mistake or a misclick. but assuming it wasn't... I think you should listen to your girlfriend and shave. facial hair is not very nice on a woman.
FlashBurn 13
And for #65: No, it really isn't that attractive when her mustache is better than mine. Also, even as a guy, I hate my facial hair. It plain sucks.
Kain713 14
@103 Can't call yourself a man without at least a little facial hair.
dstamm2 10
It's not her it's your conscious
corporatescoundr 25
My conscious does the same thing. And it sounds strangely similar to my wife. Weird.
chinchilla417 12
she should do that while you're sleeping. I used to tell my little brother that he was Spiderman and watch him imitate Spiderman in his sleep.
Jiplo 18
One time at a sleepover when I was younger I just totally ****** with my friend's dreams since he was exhausted and fell asleep minutes after waking up. It's hilarious to watch someone start "running" sideways while asleep after saying some stuff involving nukes.
Olympiakos10 15
How does a man shave his beard? He doesn't. A man doesn't shave his beard!
guiltnazan 23
The original poster was a female
imonkeyface 9
Well, OP is a woman,sooo...
shorty6823 28
First, it's actually an "alleged" mustache, not beard, and second, OP is female.
starile 19
Female or not, his point remains. A man does not shave his beard!
rdenkewicz 11
To bad she's a girl. Look at the sex.
Olympiakos10 15
Sorry I didn't look at the gender. I saw girlfriend so I just assumed it was a male.
cottoncandymango 17
Perhaps she meant to mustache you a question so she could shave it for later.
PinkieKeen 20
That was horribly placed. It doesn't even make sense
thatgirlincali 13
Is she blonde?
thatgirlincali 13
Dumbest joke I've ever made sorry
Wizardo 33
Well she may not be talking about your lips 'upstairs' if you know what I mean...
michelleJ11 25
It's not like OP specified that she was talking about her 'upper-lip' hair...
Wizardo 33
Exactly that's why I was hinting that her girlfriend wants her to shave her 'beard', but this 'beard' maybe somewhere else on her body, hint hint. Again my wording fails me.
DntLookBack 29
37 was being sarcastic because OP DID specifically say "upper-lip hair"
doodlecloud 26
To be fair, Wizardo could still be right. OP has assumed her gf was talking about upper lip hair but the gf didn't actually say that, she just said beard. So, although the chances are slim, what Wizardo said is still possible.
natheitz 23
Well would you do it if she asked you nicely?