Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Digging my heels in
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Welcome to the family
Today, I reluctantly agreed to bring my boyfriend home to meet my family. He said he wasn’t easily scared and could handle a “weird” family. Two hours later, there was a massive brawl when one uncle hit the other’s wife after she threw wine in his face. Tables were flipped, cops were called. Shit. FML
Disloyal!
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
David Lee Roth approves
Today, it was my birthday. We had a huge family dinner and everyone was invited, including my boyfriend. My family is kind of stuck-up, so I was very nervous about him meeting them. He got into an argument with my uncle over how "awesome" Van Halen is, and ignored me all night. FML
Weddings suck
Today, I got dragged to a wedding where I knew no-one. It went on for hours, I got so hungry. We get to the meal, my wife had forgotten to order a vegetarian meal for me. I couldn't eat the main meal, due to allergies and no alternative. I then spent two more hours just waiting to go home. FML
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Tense dinner
Today, I went to dinner with my husband's family to celebrate our nephew's birthday. He spent the entire dinner flirting with his sister, then got offended when I said that his behavior was weird. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
Top comments
Bano360 25
Most vegans I know are very arrogant and annoying.
Welshite 39
Hey, vegetables have feelings too; I've heard they grow better when sung to. This is why I subsist on a diet of water and dirt.
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Comments (132)
Welshite 39
Hey, vegetables have feelings too; I've heard they grow better when sung to. This is why I subsist on a diet of water and dirt.
xlord 27
You monster!!!! Im fairly certain that mother earth has feelings as well....
Pordexel 5
Water has feelings too you bastard...
jem970 19
Dirt has micro parasites and organisms. You are still eating living animals, single cell mostly but still.
revan546 24
25, Not if those parasites are unicellular. That doesn't classify them in Animalia, just bacteria.
Thundering_Jibbs 13
Forget eating, every time you breath, you upset the delicate air-ecosystem that all living organisms survive on! You bastard!
fury1031 10
Fruits and vegetables can't even defend themselves or run away. Vegans are the true heartless bastards.
LazyDaisy42 4
There's a very interesting PBS documentary I saw on this topic. It explained how plants are able to make decisions, call for help from other plants and even insects when distressed, and large trees are able to 'feed' younger trees by transferring the excess nutrients they have stored through micro organisms in the soil. Very interesting stuff, so yes, plants do have feelings. That makes veganism and vegetarianism useless. You're still eating a living thing with thoughts and feelings that is capable of feeling pain when killed, so why not eat whatever you want? It all suffers the same... Which is not too much. Unless of courses you just don't like the awful ways farm animals are often treated, in which case free range meat could be a good alternative. Also, the Dali lama eats meat, does that make him 'disgusting' as OP's uncle would put it? Of course not, the man knows more about the philosophy of love, peace and tolerance than anyone and he's ok with it. In summary, yes, meat its murder, but so is eating vegetables. Eating vegetables is actually worse because they often cannot defend themselves. Sorry for the super long post...
JanisEvans 10
The Dalai Lama isn't what you make him out to be either
jesuismelogee 16
Must be the reason why Australia broadcasts an ad to eat meat (specifically lamb)...they must have seen the doc.
Bano360 25
Most vegans I know are very arrogant and annoying.
Welshite 39
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Please don't generalize. It makes you sound arrogant and annoying.
Kiki242 19
He didnt say all. He just said the most he knows.
Shrike 23
That's not generalizing. He said most vegans that he personally knows are like that, not most vegans in general. Though I'll go out there and say most vegans in general are arrogant and annoying, because **** yeah why not?
timelessone 16
Most non-vegetarians I know are arrogant and annoying often generalizing others.
Flaum 7
A person who is not a vegan is just as likely to be arrogant and annoying as a vegan might be. People find all sorts of reasons to feel superior over other people.
DocBastard 38
Flaum - My experience has been different. I also find vegans to be particularly obnoxious and self-righteous, much more so than omnivores. Mmmmm...steak...
wlddog 14
Gotta love it when you find out someone is a vegan. I like to invite them over for grass and salad dressing, then make them watch as I kill and skin everyone else's dinner right there in front of them. Offering them the still beating heart is a sign of respect for the animal. At least I tell them it is.
timelessone 16
Maybe we're all hypocrites then. Cause I'm an arrogant douche all the time!
Bcfrmkc816 17
Very good indeed it would be disrespectful if you didn't offer. And why have their food already done and getting cold? Vegans ha
alstbv12 13
How do you know someone's a vegan? Don't worry, they'll ******* tell you!
Jemm_fml 29
Hi guys, let's play a game. It's called "spot the angry vegans"!
fuzz97 23
Many vegans become so because they have a desire to feel more special than everyone else. Case in point, OP's uncle
CrookedCook 14
Somehow, the fact that someone is vegan will almost make it into every conversation they are in, even if the conversation didn't start remotely related. similar to someone owning a Prius.
koolkat27 13
The vegans I have met are incredibly judgemental toward me, and this is coming from a vegetarian!
grobinson 9
I'm a vegan myself but not because I care so much for animals. mine is health related due to blood pressure and such. I say if a steak sounds good to you then by all means enjoy. what business is it of mine?
JanisEvans 10
A vegan diet is like the worst thing you can do to your health.
sadistmonkey 19
"If I can't enjoy steak, then no one is allowed to!"
Bano360 25
Hey vegans, my food ***** on your food.
B0nb0N09 12
Haha I'm not even vegetarian but they actually have got a point. It is incredibly cruel. You should at least grapple with that idea; they do actually have the moral high ground.
JACKxRAWR 22
Vegans are like radical religious preachers. If I want to eat meat, I'll eat some ******* meat. It's natural! There's no need to look down on me for not believing in what you believe.
JACKxRAWR 22
Also Vegans all smell bad.
EUPHORlA 12
I live in an area that has a lot of hippies and vegans. Some are kind but a lot of them here will give you a dirty look or pass by you and say "Murderer..." if they see you eating meat.
iazy9 14
I dont even understand the point, besides health reasons, vegan or vegetarian diets make no sense to me. If we stopped eating stuff that was living we would ******* DIE. Do you understand? We gotta eat what we gotta eat.
alchemist27 13
It's a tumblr game called spot the vegan
jessejamesc 8
Its because they are severly irritable due to malnutrition and hyper sympathetic response attempting to create change within., Expressed outward.
Rababco 29
@126 That might explain why vegans are often meaner and more judgmental than vegetarians.
wingedelephants 17
I used to be a vegan and I stopped because I felt so self-conscious about it. We aren't all intolerant assholes; that is a stereotype.
wingedelephants 17
CrookedCook, again, I feel the desire to state that I was a vegan once and I was mostly very shy about it. I would avoid mentioning it.
anyagrande 31
You can survive perfectly well without meat, pleaseeeee get your facts straight before commenting
anyagrande 31
Well no matter what you believe, the fact is that 91% of amazon rainforest deforestation is due animal agriculture, and 51% of worldwide CO2 emissions are from farming animals.
zannah 9
Thats so immature by him. If he's a vegan thats his problem/choice. He should keep that for himself:)
Ariet 20
Your uncle clearly deserved it. ;)
doubleddun 9
At least you got some steak.
FrankHotpants 31
It was most certainly rude of him especially since what you eat is 100% a personal choice. Being vegan might as well be a religion
Everyone_Is_Mad_fml 5
Unfortunately, that's almost what it has turned in to. Most are now claiming that if you weren't born and raised Vegan, you aren't Vegan.
BigMatt803 18
We all have that one member of our family that we dread having at a family get together.
WhisperSoflty 20
Wanna know how to figure out if someone is vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you.
SirTalkaton 22
Gotta love it when family gets together! Sounds like you guys could have a tv show. They put anything on tv these days
Strychnine_fml 9
The vegans I've met are like the Christians I've met, both want to force their beliefs on other people.
missashzilla 17
That's rude. I'm a Christian (southern baptist) and a vegan. I don't push my religion or my dietary choices on people. They're both things I decided to be all by myself. If people want to be Christian or vegan, they'll find their way there on their own.
missashzilla 17
It wouldn't let me finish. :( Anyways, the Christians and the vegans you've met would be the same if they were Buddhist and raw only. It's their personality that makes them pushy, not their religious and dietary choices.
capslockisgood 19
18 How is it rude to state a fact? He said the people he met, not everyone.
missashzilla 17
It was supposed to say they're rude. I was talking to my fiancé while I was typing it. My bad. I didn't even notice until you said something.
fuzz97 23
watch out, we've got a redditor over here
Duros1123 6
you musta met some shit ass Christians then.
koolkat27 13
I've actually met many Atheists who judge and call me dumb for my Christian beliefs. I'm a Christian who believes that everybody is free to believe in what they want.
hlew 10
Well, if you met a vegan or a Christian who wasn't pushy and obnoxious then you wouldn't exactly know about it would you? Chances are that you've met more who aren't that way but have only noticed when they are that way. But hey, whatever floats your boat.