Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tripped in front of my graduation class of 225 and all of their relatives while receiving my diploma. FML
Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML
Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML
Today, I learned that in spite of walking during the ceremony, my graduation was denied. That was nearly 4 years ago, and I never knew this was a possibility. I'd been a drop-out all this time. FML
Today, my family and I were about to watch the video my dad took of me walking across the stage at my high school graduation. Turns out he recorded the wrong kid. FML
Today, I tripped on the way back from collecting a prize in front of 600 students and their parents. I got more applause than I did when collecting the prize. FML
Today, my high school diploma came in the mail. I accidentally ripped the diploma while opening it. FML
Today, I walked at my graduation ceremony, proudly wearing my valedictorian cords. It turns out that, after some confusion on behalf of the student services office, I was neither valedictorian nor salutatorian (by 0.2 points). I'm dating the actual valedictorian. FML
Today, my university is capable of sending me two diplomas in short succession due to a clerical error, but can't recognize that I've graduated and won't be taking classes with them in the fall. FML
Today, I finally got the guts to walk out of class 30 minutes early, only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat, sat down, and unpacked. FML
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Top comments
Steffi 26
Poor OP :(. I wish he had tripped.
kiskraze 7
I guess that asshat really wanted to graduate. :)
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Comments (119)
Steffi 26
Poor OP :(. I wish he had tripped.
Damian95 16
Ain't nobody got time fo dat. (Refer to ops username)
iAlissa 34
*facedesk* Most of the FML community can pick up pretty well on jokes and sarcasm. Pointing out that you made a pun ruins it.
whiteboy896 9
puns in general are just bad...
cblock94 7
46-I happen to love puns. Thank you very much
Zebediabolical 45
I wish he'd tripped and fallen for OP... and missed.
KawaiiCupcake 14
F his life for embarrassing himself like that! Hope you get your diploma back OP
Damian95 16
Actually I can't tell you how many times someone has put on here "He was being sarcastic." Or "it was a joke." Or "he wasn't serious." No, a lot of people on here cannot, in fact, pick up on things.
tjv3 10
Asshat ! Asshat needs to be used more !
kiskraze 7
I guess that asshat really wanted to graduate. :)
perdix 31
#2, Asshat? Back in my day, we called it a mortarboard. Kids, today!
wlddog 14
"Today we have stumbled across a very large herd of humans. This is one of the largest groups I have ever seen."
tyrecius 4
TLDR^^^^
SoulAmeliorate 16
31 - I can't even thumb up the comment on my mobile, cuz the comment is so large that it covers more than half of the damn screen!
kiskraze 7
That's what the comment says. It say asshat lol
mr_sarcastic416 29
#31 HOLY CRAP a wall of text
perdix 31
Looks like the asshats are out in force today! #31, it's "rite of passage." At least one person read it, right? (Or is that also "rite?" JK, "right" is right.)
emilyjgraham 34
I'm not the only one who read 31s essay in David Attenborough's voice am I??!
NeonCookies89 13
#31 This isnt a writing assignment.
wlddog 14
LoL,, I am glad you all enjoyed it so much. What can I say, I enjoy writing. Sorry about the rite/right thing. My editor is out on vacation.
maosquare 18
Also, 85, it should be mating, not matting. Unless you meant that the process includes people intertwining into a complicated embroidery (which very much sounds like a complex orgy). Now that takes mating to a new level. /Enters sophisticated and intelligent anthropological and filmic argument about the ability of of documentary to successfully capture truth on screen./
wlddog 14
Sorry about that 89. I need you people to edit my books. You are all catching all kinds of stuff. Shoot, I just try to use words to paint a picture.
MidnightWolf3 12
Yes, they were wrong fodat!
sioux4 17
Ain't nobody got time fodat
buddy51 23
OP- Better story if the asshat was naked but still, bad luck for you, the audience, and everyone but Mr Asshat, the naked diploma snatcher.... Even worse if all your college efforts go to him!!!
Joshwarrior 39
Well you still graduated, now you are at the hard part which is getting a job. So did they just give you a pat on the back when they called your name?
tarabara17 15
He's jealous. Obviously
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Welp! Back to square one! Welcome back to college freshie :)
scottyspot 11
At least you had a memorable graduation!
aimee0027 17
Congratulations on graduating OP! Don't let that guys ruin your day. You're going to make it far!
tarabara17 15
So... Then what happened?
HaneenDixon 16
I'd imagine very awkward looks. People bewildered, trying to process what the hell just happened, including OP. I know I would be. Also, praying for that guy to trip or step on a lego.
zandalee 20
Or a land mine...
Catkam623 27
Legos are land mines. I lost three legs one sad day 6 years ago because my friend forgot about the danger.
Mister_Triangle 21
Probably nothing. That diploma was likely a ceremonial fake. The real ones are usually mailed out.