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Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
Girlfriend: So what are you doing?
OP: Just finished a run. I'm all hot and sweaty.
Girlfriend: Ooh that's so hot. What are you wearing?
OP: Nothing. I'm totally naked.
Girlfriend: Ooooh! Sexy! Are you touching yourself?
OP: Yeah, I am. MOM?!
Girlfriend: Yeah! Call me mommy! You bad boy!
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