Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21530) - you totally deserved it (1633)
(0)Nah, my friends are all saints and nuns.. and there is absolutely no correlation between a nun and a prostitute >_>
(-1)Your FRIENDS are saints and nuns. You can be the Jesus of hookers. Invent some legendary sex positions. I'm sure you'll compare to Donald Trump moneywise someday.
(0)mercy unfortunately will never amount money-wise to Donald Trump due to her incessant nature of spending this "money" on cattle prods, DVD collections of "She's the Boss", and half-camels (not the cigarettes).
#11 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:24pm by Brave_Sir_Robin
(0)If you mean spending money on strap-ons, Brazilians (Not the race), dildos, and informative sex tapes then she'll totally get rich.
(0)She would, as you might say, win the lottery. She'll crank the lucky lever and all the slots will align and have the same face. Then all the money will come out. INSTANT BILLIONAIRE
(0)OK, BSR, let's look into your unwholly memory chest, where we will find worn editions of 'Designing Women' -on VHS-, a leather, zipper-mouth "Gimp-Mask", and assorted (stained) scrolls relating to Girl Scout Initiation Rites - and then talk to me about bad investments.
(0)^^
WIN
But seriously, you could totally do the hooker deal. Just don't get tricked into paying the other person.
(0)Who said anything about bad investments, mercy? In my case, the gimp mask (zippy, zippy!) was used to scare the elderly folks into letting me take their medicine at the nursing home I pretended to work at. The VHS tapes... actually, I don't have an explanation for those. But the Girl Scout initiation rites? I wanted the secret to their awesome and addicting "Thin Mints", but those rights didn't tell me anything. I knocked on a random door to a random house and got no answer. So I went to the police station and, while wearing my gimp mask, asked where I could find some girl scouts.
Those are three years I will never get back...
PS - mercy didn't deny her spending habits, so...
#19 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:44pm by Brave_Sir_Robin
(0)Yeah I noticed she didn't deny them lol.
I don't know BSR, I don't know. I think you could find a pretty good use for those VHS tapes. Maybe tape over them and make your own porno. Something mercy can actually benefit from investing in. Other than that, however, you seem to know what you're doing. You spend your money wisely :)
(0)Woah, pendantic? It's been a long time since you've commented...
Don't say that, you're worth much more with the laughs and humor your comments bring.
(0)#24 - Pendatic and I (a few posts up) were actually referencing thread #8005552. We apparently have a price on our heads of $10 (American) or a quarter of a camel.
(refreshes page) Oh great. That whor... I mean moderator Sirin is here. Hi!
#27 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:08pm by Brave_Sir_Robin
(0)You should know my name. You might see a lot of me in the comments...
Hello again Sirin! Nice seeing you here.
Oh fuck you BSR :) she's nice =P
It's becoming a party in here... So I'm gonna call it first... FOURSOME!
(0)
BSR, you can make that price on your head $500,000 for calling me a moderator. Don't think of me as a moderator, think of me as your psycho older sister that'll beat you down for no reason whatsoever :D
(0)Some serious catfight is going down here.
@Sirin... That psycho older sister thing... It's called a moderator
@BSR, mercy is right. You can't get her to admit what color her hair is for your life. She's secretive like that.
@pendantic, nvm I thought you were a different user lol. You just changed your picture and it confused me. I wouldn't trade you for a camel's head however. You're worth much more. The whole camel?
(0)@Brave_Sir_Robin - They're right! You suck at obtaining valid points in arguments and should go fluff a sheep. Fluff it good, you piece of skirt steak.
Hmmm... skirt steak...
#33 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:22pm by Brave_Sir_Robin
(0)@Ajjas: SHHHH, we're supposed to keep that a secret. You snitch on the other users for me and claim I'm just your sister, and I give you $5 bills and a sweet beating :D
@Mercy: Mhhhmmm... you're looking RADIANT this evening...
@BSR: *hands BSR $500,000 in explosive Monopoly money*
(0)Sirin - I want to cash in on my $500,000 bounty, payable to Warren Sapp.
#36 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:24pm by Brave_Sir_Robin
(0)@BSR... Yeah nevermind, Sirin said it all. But for some reason you remind me of Elmo. He talks in third-person.
@mercy, Ok?
@Sirin, Yeah I guess... You can be my older sister if you want. *Makes sarcastic face* Sorry guys, I was wrong. She's not a moderator at all!
Come on Sirin, he's not even worth that much in Monopoly money.
(0)Warren Sapp is going to have a great birthday this year, and he doesn't even have to choke a bitch.
(atomic bombs start to fall)
Damn it! I was on a roll! A little help here, people?
#39 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:29pm by Brave_Sir_Robin
(0)B_S_R, I'll take that monopoly money off your hands. I need to buy a camel. ( I think I have a chance at a threesome here, and I need to butter Mercy up...)
(0)@Ajjas: True, but it's really just a $5 Monopoly note with "$500,000" written on it.
@Mercy: You're still looking radiant.
@Pendatic: Stop looking at Mercy like that.
@Audience: I'd like to thank my friends, family, and all the bastards that said I'd never make it past The_Pleb.
@God: I hate you, why weren't you there for me when I lost my family in that freak clown invasion? :'(
@You: This is a private conversation, out OUT!
(0)@God.. are you there, it's me, Margaret..
and thank you, Sirin *attaches collar* .. just have to slay this last nazgul and then we can discuss dinner >:]
(0)All this talk of camels, mercyFML versus Pendatic versus The Man versus invisible pineapple versus mercyFML, and skirt steaks are making me hungry. Same time, same channel, people.
@Brave_Sir_Robin - You're a pathetic excuse of a sheep fluffer, and I know sheep-fluffing. Take your $500,000 in monopoly money, this ham sandwich (hmm... ham), and this parachute full of grape jelly.
#43 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:39pm by Brave_Sir_Robin
(0)Well, dammit.. that's two posts that got knocked out in this thread, Sirin. Yes, I look radiant but somehow that radiance is getting booted by a small terrier with a fetish for Mtv-brities. Oh Brother!
@pendatic: the quickest way to my affections is through virgin sacrifice, and we are standing amist the Holy Grail, my friend. However, the bitch, Sirin, is mine >:|
@BSR: *cricket sounds*
@Batman: Why So Serious?
(0)Oops, I deleted my comment because one or two of the others showed up again. Pendatic hasn't snapped and started talking to himself again, people, don't worry :D
(0)LMFAOOOO pendatic. You guys are crazy.
@BSR... Yo- Ah forget it. All hope is lost :(
@pendatic, I think you caught it. BSR is contagious...
@The general assembly: I'm back everyone. And I'd like to thank the academy. I've felt strangely proud of myself for achieveing something... I feel more popular on this website. Thanks to all in this thread. And a shame perdix was no part of this interbandying of words.
(0)If you're working alone on Valentine's Day, you could steal stuff... consider it a bonus to you from your boss.
#5 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:15pm by FerrariCake
(0)Valentine's day is considered a big enough holiday for employees to have a day off? C: cool now if they could only do the same for Halloween
#15 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:31pm by ipwnallmen
(0)The good news is that you'll surely get April Fools' Day off.
If there is any doubt, make sure you show up to work on March 31 with your pants on da ground, pants on da ground.
(0)Fat chicks are always available, just take one to Burger King and she will think you are God
#17 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:33pm by pendulum2012
(0)lol cakes it's okay your not the only one!
#21 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:48pm by awkwardpalmtree
(0)How about going to the gym 3 times a week, eating healthy, getting a tan, hair done, nice natural makeup... You'll be back on track in no time!
#25 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:04pm by mangocherrypie
(0)....
How did you get that the OP is fat, pale, has crappy hair and wears too much makeup out of that?
BTW, tan isn't always healthy. In my case, it can be deadly.
(0)OP, you're not the only one who doesn't have a date for Valentine's Day :[
Not really an FML for only the OP, but a general FML for all the people who will be alone on V-day.
I know this sounds cliche, but every cloud has a silver lining. Maybe by working on Valentine's Day you'll earn yourself a raise?
#37 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:26pm by MermaidSongXOXO
(0)Go in and while you are there alone urinate around your bosses office.
#44 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:44pm by CallMeHush
(0)No matter what this is your fault. Theirs obviously something you are or are not doing. So YDI!
#63 - On 02/08/2010 at 7:07pm by Soulathyia
(0)Oh fuck that like sucks so bad. You don't have a date and have to work so other people who worked at a relationship can go out. I am so sorry, you poor baby. Let me hold you! No actually, since I have a date I need you to hug yourself. But I do feel for you.
It's not the end of the world. Last year I didn't go out on V-day. I spent it at home watching movies with some of my friends. No Biggie.
(0)The FML is not that the OP didn't have a date, but that others consider him/her so unattractive that they assume that he/she will not have a date...
(0)That sucks big time are you sure yo don't work with me. I was told that I am on the must be there list at work since nobody cares about me There is a huge snow stom on the way and sadly my ride is my 75 year old Mom
(0)true that #75 its just another holiday which makes people spend loads of money on pointless spoppy gifts only to have their bf/gf cheat on them the next week =]
#77 - On 02/09/2010 at 4:36am by wonderboy1
(0)I would refuse to work that day for my boss especially after a comment like that...I would say nope unless iam getting paid over time I will be at home watching porn and screw you for judging me!
(0)your boss is a dick it doesn't matter how undatable someone is there are just sone things that you don't tell people lol
#84 - On 02/10/2010 at 1:10am by alfalfalaffa
(0)You can be the Jesus of hookers.
------------
@#7: Jesus was the Jesus of hookers (Luk 7:36-50).
Back to topic: OP: I assume you mean working the evening of. I guess it's not a day job, or even a night job where you get off at 9 pm? There would still have been mucho partying to do after 9, in which case it wouldn't have been an FML.
