Get the guts to spill the beans

Submit your FML story


Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks (21530) - you totally deserved it (1633)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:07am - love - by klala - Reserved

More FMLs?

DD's life also sucks

skinsfan7592 also deserved it

Comments

(0)

There's always hookers.

#1 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:04pm by mercyFML

(0)

Right I'm sure mercyFML is willing to hook you up on that one.

#3 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:11pm by Ajjas013

(0)

Nah, my friends are all saints and nuns.. and there is absolutely no correlation between a nun and a prostitute >_>

#4 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:14pm by mercyFML

(0)

yeah well give home your phone number!

#6 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:16pm by drilher244

(-1)

Your FRIENDS are saints and nuns. You can be the Jesus of hookers. Invent some legendary sex positions. I'm sure you'll compare to Donald Trump moneywise someday.

#7 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:16pm by Ajjas013

(0)

I lost my Leonard Cohen reference.. anybody seen it? -o-o-

#9 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:19pm by mercyFML

(0)

Maybe Google knows.

#10 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:22pm by Ajjas013

(0)

mercy unfortunately will never amount money-wise to Donald Trump due to her incessant nature of spending this "money" on cattle prods, DVD collections of "She's the Boss", and half-camels (not the cigarettes).

#11 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:24pm by Brave_Sir_Robin

(0)

If you mean spending money on strap-ons, Brazilians (Not the race), dildos, and informative sex tapes then she'll totally get rich.

#12 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:27pm by Ajjas013

(0)

She would, as you might say, win the lottery. She'll crank the lucky lever and all the slots will align and have the same face. Then all the money will come out. INSTANT BILLIONAIRE

#13 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:29pm by Ajjas013

(0)

OK, BSR, let's look into your unwholly memory chest, where we will find worn editions of 'Designing Women' -on VHS-, a leather, zipper-mouth "Gimp-Mask", and assorted (stained) scrolls relating to Girl Scout Initiation Rites - and then talk to me about bad investments.

#14 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:29pm by mercyFML

(0)

^^
WIN

But seriously, you could totally do the hooker deal. Just don't get tricked into paying the other person.

#18 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:35pm by Ajjas013

(0)

Who said anything about bad investments, mercy? In my case, the gimp mask (zippy, zippy!) was used to scare the elderly folks into letting me take their medicine at the nursing home I pretended to work at. The VHS tapes... actually, I don't have an explanation for those. But the Girl Scout initiation rites? I wanted the secret to their awesome and addicting "Thin Mints", but those rights didn't tell me anything. I knocked on a random door to a random house and got no answer. So I went to the police station and, while wearing my gimp mask, asked where I could find some girl scouts.

Those are three years I will never get back...

PS - mercy didn't deny her spending habits, so...

#19 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:44pm by Brave_Sir_Robin

(0)

Yeah I noticed she didn't deny them lol.

I don't know BSR, I don't know. I think you could find a pretty good use for those VHS tapes. Maybe tape over them and make your own porno. Something mercy can actually benefit from investing in. Other than that, however, you seem to know what you're doing. You spend your money wisely :)

#20 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:47pm by Ajjas013

(0)

I'm still upset that I'm only worth ten dollar or quarter of camel!

#23 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:01pm by pendatic

(0)

Woah, pendantic? It's been a long time since you've commented...

Don't say that, you're worth much more with the laughs and humor your comments bring.

#24 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:02pm by Ajjas013

(0)

#24 - Pendatic and I (a few posts up) were actually referencing thread #8005552. We apparently have a price on our heads of $10 (American) or a quarter of a camel.

(refreshes page) Oh great. That whor... I mean moderator Sirin is here. Hi!

#27 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:08pm by Brave_Sir_Robin

(0)

You should know my name. You might see a lot of me in the comments...

Hello again Sirin! Nice seeing you here.

Oh fuck you BSR :) she's nice =P

It's becoming a party in here... So I'm gonna call it first... FOURSOME!

#28 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:12pm by Ajjas013

(0)

BSR, you can make that price on your head $500,000 for calling me a moderator. Don't think of me as a moderator, think of me as your psycho older sister that'll beat you down for no reason whatsoever :D

#29 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:12pm by Sirin (FML Staff)

(0)

Some serious catfight is going down here.

@Sirin... That psycho older sister thing... It's called a moderator

@BSR, mercy is right. You can't get her to admit what color her hair is for your life. She's secretive like that.

@pendantic, nvm I thought you were a different user lol. You just changed your picture and it confused me. I wouldn't trade you for a camel's head however. You're worth much more. The whole camel?

#32 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:19pm by Ajjas013

(0)

@Brave_Sir_Robin - They're right! You suck at obtaining valid points in arguments and should go fluff a sheep. Fluff it good, you piece of skirt steak.

Hmmm... skirt steak...

#33 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:22pm by Brave_Sir_Robin

(0)

Fluffer.

#34 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:23pm by mercyFML

(0)

@Ajjas: SHHHH, we're supposed to keep that a secret. You snitch on the other users for me and claim I'm just your sister, and I give you $5 bills and a sweet beating :D

@Mercy: Mhhhmmm... you're looking RADIANT this evening...

@BSR: *hands BSR $500,000 in explosive Monopoly money*

#35 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:24pm by Sirin (FML Staff)

(0)

Sirin - I want to cash in on my $500,000 bounty, payable to Warren Sapp.

#36 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:24pm by Brave_Sir_Robin

(0)

@BSR... Yeah nevermind, Sirin said it all. But for some reason you remind me of Elmo. He talks in third-person.

@mercy, Ok?

@Sirin, Yeah I guess... You can be my older sister if you want. *Makes sarcastic face* Sorry guys, I was wrong. She's not a moderator at all!

Come on Sirin, he's not even worth that much in Monopoly money.

#38 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:27pm by Ajjas013

(0)

Warren Sapp is going to have a great birthday this year, and he doesn't even have to choke a bitch.

(atomic bombs start to fall)

Damn it! I was on a roll! A little help here, people?

#39 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:29pm by Brave_Sir_Robin

(0)

B_S_R, I'll take that monopoly money off your hands. I need to buy a camel. ( I think I have a chance at a threesome here, and I need to butter Mercy up...)

#40 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:30pm by pendatic

(0)

@Ajjas: True, but it's really just a $5 Monopoly note with "$500,000" written on it.

@Mercy: You're still looking radiant.

@Pendatic: Stop looking at Mercy like that.

@Audience: I'd like to thank my friends, family, and all the bastards that said I'd never make it past The_Pleb.

@God: I hate you, why weren't you there for me when I lost my family in that freak clown invasion? :'(

@You: This is a private conversation, out OUT!

#41 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:32pm by Sirin (FML Staff)

(0)

@God.. are you there, it's me, Margaret..

and thank you, Sirin *attaches collar* .. just have to slay this last nazgul and then we can discuss dinner >:]

#42 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:38pm by mercyFML

(0)

All this talk of camels, mercyFML versus Pendatic versus The Man versus invisible pineapple versus mercyFML, and skirt steaks are making me hungry. Same time, same channel, people.

@Brave_Sir_Robin - You're a pathetic excuse of a sheep fluffer, and I know sheep-fluffing. Take your $500,000 in monopoly money, this ham sandwich (hmm... ham), and this parachute full of grape jelly.

#43 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:39pm by Brave_Sir_Robin

(0)

@Si...nah I give up. Too many threads to this conversation; too few brain cells...

#45 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:44pm by pendatic

(0)

Well, dammit.. that's two posts that got knocked out in this thread, Sirin. Yes, I look radiant but somehow that radiance is getting booted by a small terrier with a fetish for Mtv-brities. Oh Brother!

@pendatic: the quickest way to my affections is through virgin sacrifice, and we are standing amist the Holy Grail, my friend. However, the bitch, Sirin, is mine >:|

@BSR: *cricket sounds*

@Batman: Why So Serious?

#46 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:48pm by mercyFML

(0)

Was also thinking that Sirin...

#49 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:52pm by pendatic

This comment has been moderated.

#50 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:54pm by swimspy

(0)

Oops, I deleted my comment because one or two of the others showed up again. Pendatic hasn't snapped and started talking to himself again, people, don't worry :D

#51 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:59pm by Sirin (FML Staff)

(0)

What do you mean, talking to himself again?

Who me?

No, not you, her.

Who?

Sirin

Oh, okay.

#55 - On 02/08/2010 at 5:37pm by pendatic

(0)

LMFAOOOO pendatic. You guys are crazy.

@BSR... Yo- Ah forget it. All hope is lost :(

@pendatic, I think you caught it. BSR is contagious...

@The general assembly: I'm back everyone. And I'd like to thank the academy. I've felt strangely proud of myself for achieveing something... I feel more popular on this website. Thanks to all in this thread. And a shame perdix was no part of this interbandying of words.

#58 - On 02/08/2010 at 5:52pm by Ajjas013

(0)

Ajjas, "a shame" = "thank christ"?

#61 - On 02/08/2010 at 6:08pm by Sirin (FML Staff)

(0)

Yes. Exactly.

#62 - On 02/08/2010 at 6:27pm by Ajjas013

(0)

This is a private thread. Sirin said it herself, out OUT!

#66 - On 02/08/2010 at 7:24pm by Ajjas013

(0)

u should have punched her face off. >:)0

#74 - On 02/08/2010 at 11:06pm by chely_95

(0)

Hey, extra money for you, right? That was rude of her to say though =/

#2 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:10pm by pensadoii

(0)

If you're working alone on Valentine's Day, you could steal stuff... consider it a bonus to you from your boss.

#5 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:15pm by FerrariCake

(0)

your negative attitude will make sure you never get a date

#8 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:18pm by libido

(0)

Valentine's day is considered a big enough holiday for employees to have a day off? C: cool now if they could only do the same for Halloween

#15 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:31pm by ipwnallmen

(0)

The good news is that you'll surely get April Fools' Day off.

If there is any doubt, make sure you show up to work on March 31 with your pants on da ground, pants on da ground.

#16 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:33pm by perdix

(0)

^^ AGREED TO THE TENTH POWER

#26 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:05pm by WhatANoob

(0)

lmao pants on the ground

#57 - On 02/08/2010 at 5:43pm by sum1savemeh

(0)

Fat chicks are always available, just take one to Burger King and she will think you are God

#17 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:33pm by pendulum2012

(0)

lol cakes it's okay your not the only one!


#21 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:48pm by awkwardpalmtree

Lead a workshop LIKE A BOSS!

#22 - On 02/08/2010 at 2:59pm by splydoms

(0)

How about going to the gym 3 times a week, eating healthy, getting a tan, hair done, nice natural makeup... You'll be back on track in no time!

#25 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:04pm by mangocherrypie

(0)

....
How did you get that the OP is fat, pale, has crappy hair and wears too much makeup out of that?

BTW, tan isn't always healthy. In my case, it can be deadly.

#30 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:13pm by idkweird

(0)

Valentine's Day is not a holiday.

#31 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:14pm by razz122

(0)

OP, you're not the only one who doesn't have a date for Valentine's Day :[

Not really an FML for only the OP, but a general FML for all the people who will be alone on V-day.

I know this sounds cliche, but every cloud has a silver lining. Maybe by working on Valentine's Day you'll earn yourself a raise?

#37 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:26pm by MermaidSongXOXO

(0)

Go in and while you are there alone urinate around your bosses office.

#44 - On 02/08/2010 at 3:44pm by CallMeHush

(0)

tell her haha yea right fucker, my girl is waiting for me at home in bed.

#52 - On 02/08/2010 at 4:18pm by bfffness

(0)

PWNED

#54 - On 02/08/2010 at 5:31pm by crazysaw

(0)

ha ha :)

#56 - On 02/08/2010 at 5:39pm by laurenjayne

This comment has been moderated.

#59 - On 02/08/2010 at 5:53pm by tommy3691

(0)

No matter what this is your fault. Theirs obviously something you are or are not doing. So YDI!

#63 - On 02/08/2010 at 7:07pm by Soulathyia

(0)

Oh fuck that like sucks so bad. You don't have a date and have to work so other people who worked at a relationship can go out. I am so sorry, you poor baby. Let me hold you! No actually, since I have a date I need you to hug yourself. But I do feel for you.

It's not the end of the world. Last year I didn't go out on V-day. I spent it at home watching movies with some of my friends. No Biggie.

#65 - On 02/08/2010 at 7:19pm by Flutist

(0)

The FML is not that the OP didn't have a date, but that others consider him/her so unattractive that they assume that he/she will not have a date...

#69 - On 02/08/2010 at 8:55pm by bbi5291

(0)

tell her tht it's ride and you do have a date! show her up

#67 - On 02/08/2010 at 8:03pm by eddles

(0)

that can't be true

#68 - On 02/08/2010 at 8:30pm by gemster

(0)

maybe u should be better lookin:p

#70 - On 02/08/2010 at 9:03pm by Iluvmuff

(0)

who Cares??? it's a card holiday! my bf and I don't celebrate it..

#71 - On 02/08/2010 at 9:38pm by elledubb

(0)

That sucks big time are you sure yo don't work with me. I was told that I am on the must be there list at work since nobody cares about me There is a huge snow stom on the way and sadly my ride is my 75 year old Mom

#72 - On 02/08/2010 at 10:25pm by Arwen1957

This comment has been moderated.

#73 - On 02/08/2010 at 10:43pm by loserface7

(+1)

No worries, Valentines day is a vapid, useless holiday.

#75 - On 02/09/2010 at 12:40am by Loosicles

(0)

true that #75 its just another holiday which makes people spend loads of money on pointless spoppy gifts only to have their bf/gf cheat on them the next week =]

#77 - On 02/09/2010 at 4:36am by wonderboy1

(0)

soppy*

#78 - On 02/09/2010 at 4:39am by wonderboy1

(0)

I would refuse to work that day for my boss especially after a comment like that...I would say nope unless iam getting paid over time I will be at home watching porn and screw you for judging me!

#79 - On 02/09/2010 at 5:35am by davidle1

(0)

atleast you have palmala X-D

#80 - On 02/09/2010 at 8:40am by teamecko00

(0)

that sucks man haha

#81 - On 02/09/2010 at 3:59pm by SAM5000

(0)

I agree with 1

#82 - On 02/09/2010 at 7:29pm by corleon198425

(0)

hehe

#83 - On 02/09/2010 at 11:24pm by springrider

(0)

your boss is a dick it doesn't matter how undatable someone is there are just sone things that you don't tell people lol

#84 - On 02/10/2010 at 1:10am by alfalfalaffa

(0)

Valentine's Day is highly overrated, good dental hygiene is not.

#85 - On 02/10/2010 at 3:31pm by ColdGold

(0)

i wounder why????

#86 - On 02/12/2010 at 6:51am by dogan

(0)

wow

#87 - On 02/14/2010 at 2:42am by wubu18

(0)

hope you're having fun today

#88 - On 02/14/2010 at 7:14am by wevez87

(-2)

your either fat or black

#89 - On 03/04/2010 at 10:42pm by yahdude

(0)

You can be the Jesus of hookers.
------------
@#7: Jesus was the Jesus of hookers (Luk 7:36-50).

Back to topic: OP: I assume you mean working the evening of. I guess it's not a day job, or even a night job where you get off at 9 pm? There would still have been mucho partying to do after 9, in which case it wouldn't have been an FML.

#90 - On 04/25/2010 at 2:18pm by Bucinka

(0)

love is a myth

#91 - On 07/29/2010 at 12:58am by DiGiiT

Add a comment

Top of the page

You must have an FML account to comment.

Don't have an FML account yet ? Sign up to FML!


Your account

Team's blog

FMyLife, the book

Available NOW on: